Ghosts of the Past
by psychotic-cat17
Summary: A case from Alex's past comes back to make not just her a target, but Olivia too. The squad works to track down the murderer before one of their own falls victim.
1. MIA ADA

**Disclaimer:** Characters do not belong to me, they most likely belong to Dick Wolf and/or NBC/Universal. I do this for free fun entertainment and therefore mean no harm.

**A/N:** This is the first fanfic I have ever even attempted to write, so feedback is more than welcome. This is also my first femslash, so sorry if it's awkward. The first few chapters are set up, so sorry if they're a little slow. Please enjoy!

**Ghosts of the Past  
><strong>

**Chapter 1  
><strong>

Olivia and Elliot walked out of the interrogation room and rounded the corner to see Cragen and ADA Alden behind the two-way mirror. "Okay, where the hell is Alex?" Olivia asked, slightly hostile. "You've been acting as our ADA for the past week and I haven't heard any reason why." Olivia thrust her hands into the pockets of her black fitted slacks, showing her irritation. She took a deep breath to calm herself, her maroon button-up shirt pulling tight across her torso.

"You were told that Cabot took some personal time, that's all you're getting from us. All we know. She should be back in another couple of weeks," Erica Alden said. Detective Benson had been on her case about Alex since she had shown up to take over responsibilities for their usual ADA. Alden herself had not been privy to why Alex had taken time off so suddenly, so she was incapable of passing on that knowledge to the squad of the 1-6.

Before another argument could break out, Captain Cragen shifted the conversation back to the case at hand. He may have also been curious as to why their ADA was missing in action, but it wasn't as if the squad could choose who presented their cases in court; that wasn't their decision no matter how good of a relationship they currently had with ADA Alexandra Cabot. The captain knew that his entire team missed the ice cold ADA that they all knew really cared about getting justice for the victims.

Once they had gone over what they knew about their current case and gotten ADA Alden to promise to get a judge to sign a search warrant for the suspected perp's apartment, Olivia pulled Elliot aside for a second. "Listen, I don't like that no one is telling us anything about Alex, so I'm going over to her apartment." It was as good a time as any to figure out what was up with Alex since they had just gotten a confession and were only getting the search warrant as the final nail in this guy's coffin.

Elliot saw the determination in Olivia's eyes and knew better than to argue with her, but needed to at least point something out. "You know, she might not even be home, Liv."

That thought had crossed her mind, but there was nowhere else she could think of to look for their missing ADA. "I know. But I have to try," Olivia said as she shrugged into her jacket and walked towards the door. If Alex wasn't home then Olivia would figure out somewhere else to go for information until she had the answers she wanted, the answers she needed.

Alex was too much of a workaholic to just take some impromptu time off for pleasure, so that only left disturbing reasons to flutter around in Olivia's brain. If Alex's whereabouts were completely unknown, the DA's office would have pulled the 1-6 in on the search for her, so at least Olivia was quite certain that Alex hadn't been kidnapped or was laying dead somewhere; a couple of thoughts which had run through her mind over and over again since Alex had not come to work at the beginning of the week.

It took Olivia almost twenty-five minutes to get to Alex's secure apartment complex by cab. She knew that the rest of the team would cover for her for as long as she was gone since everyone wanted to know what was going on with their ADA. They probably didn't want to know quite as badly as she did, but still, they were beyond just curious at this point.

The doorman of Alex's building opened the door for her and greeted her politely. Olivia stopped at the security desk to check in. "Hey, Sal," she said as she took the clipboard he handed her and signed in. All guests had to be accounted for in Alex's building and Olivia very much approved of the extra security. There were certainly ways to get around it, there always were, but that small extra assurance made Olivia feel better.

"Detective Benson," Sal said with an even mix of respect and lightheartedness. Olivia had only been over to Ms. Cabot's apartment a couple of times, but Alex always seemed to be softer somehow when she was accompanied by the brunette detective, which gave her Sal's immediate and unyielding stamp of approval. "Would you like me to call up and announce you, Detective?"

"She's definitely here?" Olivia asked, trying not to sound either surprised or relieved. But she certainly was relieved that Alex seemed to be at home and no longer counted among the missing.

"Yeah, she just came home earlier this afternoon actually," Sal said, beginning to wonder if the detective didn't know what was going on with Ms. Cabot.

"No, don't call up. I'll just head up and she can let me in." Olivia wondered where Alex had been, as the guard made it sound as if she had been gone for at least a few days. Well, Olivia figured she would just have to ask when she got up there.

Sal looked at Olivia curiously, internally debating whether to give her his master key or not. It was absolutely against protocol, but this woman was a detective with the NYPD; one that he knew personally and she was going to see someone he knew she was acquainted with. And while he didn't know Olivia that well, Sal would stake his life that the detective would never hurt the gorgeous attorney living in the penthouse. He stood and pulled his keys off his belt, selecting the correct one and holding it out to Olivia. "That's the master key. Alex is gonna have a hard time getting up to open the door, so just knock and let yourself in."

"What's up with Alex?" Olivia asked as she took the proffered keys. Some concern was laced through her voice, but she noted that Sal was more interested in the fact that she didn't seem to know what was going on with Alex than concerned for one of his favorite tenants, so she figured that it couldn't be anything too serious.

Sal just shrugged, not willing to give Olivia what she was fishing for if Alex hadn't already told her. Plus, he didn't actually know the whole story surrounding Alex's recent misfortune, so he wouldn't be able to give a decent explanation anyway.

"Thanks," Olivia said as she headed for the elevator and punched the number for the top floor. She wanted to question Sal more, but there was no good reason to when a more direct source was only an elevator ride away. _Only the best for Alex_, Olivia thought with a smile as she rode in the quiet elevator up to the penthouse, knowing she could never afford such a swanky apartment on her salary.

Olivia stood outside of Alex's door and took a deep breath, preparing to see the woman of her dreams in her own home. She loudly rapped on Alex's front door and waited until she heard rustling around inside before sliding the key into the lock and announcing herself. "Hey, Alex, it's Liv," she called out as she walked slowly into the apartment. Olivia wasn't all that comfortable with walking around Alex's apartment unsupervised; it felt too much like executing a search warrant sometimes.

* * *

><p>Alex heard the knock on her door and groaned, taking the time to think about if it was worth the pain to get up and answer the door. She was readjusting herself on the sofa, getting ready to push herself into a standing position, when she heard the key in the lock and Olivia's voice call out to her. <em>Like Olivia really needed to announce it was her<em>, Alex immediately thought as a shiver of awareness passed through her at the first syllable out of the detective's mouth. Alex would know that woman's voice anywhere; she heard it echo through her mind all the time, in dreams and in waking.

It suddenly registered that Olivia was coming into her apartment, with or without her physically letting the brunette in. And although Alex would have done almost anything to get Olivia into her apartment for the past few years, now was not the ideal time. Panic ran coldly through Alex's veins when she realized what Olivia was going to see when they finally met face to face. This wasn't going to be pretty, especially with no way to soften the blow like Alex had been planning on doing.

Alex did not consider herself vain in most situations. Yes, she could pass off as pretty and her looks certainly didn't hurt her in her career or political aspirations, but she rarely thought about them. The only time she even found herself paying particular attention to her looks was when she knew she would be seeing Olivia, which was one of the reasons she was always so put together when she was working, there was always the possibility that she could run into Liv. And right now, Alex was certainly not looking her best, sitting in her pristine living room wearing a ratty, baggy royal blue t-shirt and cut off sweat pants that fell to just above her knees. Not looking her best at all, but it was comfortable.

In her current state, Alex would need at least ten minutes to make it to her bedroom to be able to hide from Olivia; to hide the damage that had been done to her body last weekend behind a door with a lock that Olivia couldn't get through. Unfortunately, it sounded as if Olivia was mere seconds away from exiting the entrance hall and getting an unobstructed view of Alex sitting uncomfortably on the sofa.

Alex closed her eyes and took as deep a breath as she could without doubling over in pain. She would just have to suck it up and trudge her way through the inquisition she knew was coming. Olivia's detective persona was not something that she often shook off and she couldn't help but ask a bunch of nosy questions even if it wasn't in the pursuit of her job.

The small smile gracing Olivia's face immediately dropped when she caught sight of Alex's face. "Jesus, Alex. What the hell happened to you?" She rushed over to Alex's side and reached out her hand to cup the attorney's face, but pulled back when she realized her touch would just hurt Alex. "Who did that to you?" Olivia almost whispered, not trusting herself to speak any louder without losing control.

Alex's right wrist was wrapped tightly so that it was left immobile. The upper section of her forearm that was visible between her wrist support and the sleeve of her t-shirt was covered with scabbed over scratches and multi-colored bruises. The right side of Alex's face was swollen and also bruised and she had a cut over her right eye that was stitched shut.

A soft chuckle escaped Alex's lips as she lifted her hand to gently grasp Olivia's, which was still hovering near her cheek. "There's no one's ass to kick, Liv. If anyone's to blame for this," she gestured to her wrist and face with her left hand, "it's me."

"What happened?" Olivia asked as she sat on the sofa to Alex's left.

"I went upstate last weekend to do some mountain biking with a couple of friends. I was about a hundred yards ahead of them on the trail when I took a sharp turn a little too fast. No big deal. It's not too difficult to go off trail, unless of course the side of the trail is an almost sheer hundred foot drop." Alex smiled sheepishly at Olivia. It was a crooked smile, as the right half of Alex's face wasn't exactly in perfect working order at the moment, but still adorable.

"So where were you these past few days?"

"Albany Medical Center. I got released first thing this morning and got a ride back to the city as soon as I got out," Alex said.

Olivia reached out and caressed the bruised side of Alex's face again, this time making contact. She knew that the visible injuries on Alex's body were not severe enough for a four day hospital stay. "What other injuries, Alex?" Olivia asked softly, not willing to just let it go.

She should have known Olivia would question her injuries. "Some bruised ribs… and a tree branch impaled my thigh on the way down the ravine." Alex had considered omitting that last injury, but Olivia would eventually find out about it and just get pissed at her later, so there was no reason to.

"Jesus, Alex."

"You said that already," the blonde said playfully.

When Olivia looked at her with steely eyes, Alex took a deep breath and winced at the pain that radiated through her ribs. Sitting here with Liv had made Alex forget all about the injuries she had sustained over the weekend. It was always that way when she was around the dark featured detective; Alex forgot herself and relaxed her usual stoic persona.

"Are you okay?" Liv asked with concern. She removed her body from touching Alex at any site in case the contact was causing her more pain. Olivia didn't even let herself consider that her touch could be comforting to the beautiful attorney.

"Yeah. I just forgot about my ribs for a second there," Alex said. "Deep breathing isn't really as soothing right now as it used to be."

Alex felt the last few days start to weigh down on her. People thought that all there was to do in a hospital was lay around and get rest, but that just didn't happen. The beds were uncomfortable and it was difficult to grab consecutive hours of sleep with a nurse coming in every hour to check vitals and make sure the patient was okay. This was the first time since her mountain biking accident that Alex was in an environment where she could possibly get some restful sleep.

* * *

><p>Olivia watched as Alex fell forward over the arm of the couch on her right as she dozed off once again; the third time in the last fifteen minutes. They had been watching television for the past twenty minutes since Alex had gotten tired of talking about her accident. Alex had let Olivia choose the channel when they had flicked through all the options and nothing had held her interest.<p>

When Alex felt the pressure building on her sprained wrist, she jerked back into sudden aware consciousness. It took her less than a minute to drift off again, but this time Olivia gently gripped Alex by her upper arms and pulled her back to rest against the detective's side. Alex was too tired to fight the wonderful feeling being pressed against Olivia sparked within her.

Olivia smiled as she felt Alex snuggle into her. She was in the process of removing her arm from Alex's shoulder, but the attorney's whimper of disapproval stayed Olivia's hand. The contented sigh that escaped Alex sent an inappropriate shiver of pleasure through the detective's body. It was made sweeter by the fact that those noises were allowed out by Alex's primitive, unfiltered brain. Olivia could only wish those noises were directed at her and not just some anonymous comforting phantom.

While Alex slept, Olivia made a call to Elliot to let him know she wouldn't be back to the precinct that day. She kept her voice low so that she wouldn't wake Alex up, either by moving out from under the blonde or by talking too loud. The female detective gave Elliot a quick overview of why Alex had been out of work and he said he would come by when Alex was feeling better and had settled back into her apartment. Olivia may have been the most concerned about Alex, but she certainly was not the only one at the 1-6 to care about Alex.

Alex had been sleeping comfortably for a couple of hours when her apartment phone rang. She snuggled deeper into the comforting warmth beneath her and tried to ignore the incessant, annoying ringing. The attorney groaned in protest when the warmth below her cheek started to move, jostling her into a less comfortable position.

Olivia smiled down at the protesting attorney as she reached over Alex to pick up her phone. "Alex Cabot's apartment. How may I help you?" Olivia answered when it became obvious that Alex was just going to ignore the phone. It was absolutely adorable to Olivia that Alex just refused to wake up without protest, although it shouldn't have surprised her since the attorney was so stubborn in all other aspects of her life.

"Detective Benson? I have a nurse down here that says she was hired to assist Ms. Cabot with caring for her injuries. I'm just calling to confirm that there is such an appointment," Sal, the front door security guard, relayed.

"Um, let me just wake Alex up and ask her. Hang on one second," Olivia said before covering the mouthpiece with her hand and turning her attention to the resting attorney. "Alex, honey, is a nurse supposed to be stopping by to take of you?" Olivia asked softly. She didn't want to startle Alex awake if she could help it.

Beautiful blue eyes opened and focused on the soulful brown ones looking down on her. For a moment Alex got lost in those eyes that she had always thought were Olivia's most expressive feature, even when they were shuttering her emotions. The amount of expression Olivia let shine out of her eyes when she was working a case always told Alex a lot about it. And the amount of time Alex spent looking at Olivia contributed greatly to how well she could read the detective.

Alex was able to refocus on what was being asked of her and quickly searched her mind for the correct answer. "Yes. My mother said she would send someone over to help me clean up and redress my puncture wound," she said as she slowly pulled herself up into a sitting position once again.

"Yeah, send the nurse up," Olivia said into the phone before hanging up.

The detective got up off the couch and stretched now that she was free of Alex's weight, although she would admit to herself that she missed the contact. When she had flexed most of the kinks out of her muscles, Olivia glanced back down at Alex and noticed the uncomfortable look that had made its presence known on her face. "You don't like the idea of a stranger touching you, do you?" Olivia asked softly into the silence.

Alex looked up at Olivia in surprise. Not many people were privy to the knowledge that Olivia had just bluntly stated. Although Alex often did detest the nickname of ice princess, it did serve to physically isolate her from most people, which was to her liking. Of course the cold persona did nothing to help her when she _wanted_ someone to get close to her, someone like Olivia. "No, I don't like being touched," Alex answered since she had been asked directly.

Olivia just nodded like it was confirmation of an already well-known fact; that confidence was undeniably sexy to Alex, if not occasionally abrading. She was silent for a few long moments before continuing, as if internally debating whether she should say more or just keep her thoughts to herself. "I could get instructions from the nurse and redress your wound myself, if that would make you more comfortable," the olive-skinned woman offered.

Alex desperately just wanted to say yes, but she wasn't sure if Olivia was completely aware of _all_ the help the nurse was going to provide for her. The attorney swallowed hard before elaborating on the duties the nurse was expected to perform. "The nurse is also expected to help me shower. I can wash my body on my own, but it's impossible to properly wash my hair with a severely sprained dominant wrist," Alex explained in such a way as to give Olivia all the facts and therefore allow her to rescind her offer. Alex tried to give the facts as cleanly and clinically as possible since she was already embarrassed about having to discuss it at all, particularly with her current company.

Again, Olivia nodded slowly and thought carefully about what to say. "As long as it's just your hair you need help with, I think I can manage." She didn't mean to sound as if touching Alex was repulsive to her, but it was more a case of self preservation because Olivia just couldn't handle it if Alex was aware of how she felt. "The offer still stands, Alex," Olivia said while looking the blonde straight in the eyes.

"Thank you," Alex said as she looked away. It was stupid and irrational, but Alex was a little hurt by Olivia's words. Truthfully, she wanted Olivia to _want_ her and the detective had just made it clear that no such feelings existed in her. Alex knew that her feelings weren't appropriate, but that hadn't stopped her from having them since a few months after she had first met Olivia.

The attorney had been in lust with the dark-haired detective from the moment she saw the woman in the squad room. It had surprised Alex, the intensity of the spark that had flown through her. Alex had never felt such an instant sexual attraction towards anyone, let alone another woman, and it had scared her. It may have scared her, but not nearly enough to get her to discount her feelings for the detective.

It didn't take long for Alex's feelings to change from intense lust to a tentative but undeniable love. The dedication Olivia showed towards her job and the compassion she showed the victims was unquestionable and endeared her to Alex. And the way she was with children in particular melted Alex's heart. It sometimes made Alex think of how good Olivia would be with her own children, and in her weakest moments how good Olivia would be with _their_ children. That was a private fantasy that no other living being would ever have knowledge of.

Alex was pulled out of her reverie by a firm knocking on her door. She made a move to stand up, but sucked in a quick breath when the pain in her ribs radiated throughout her body. The attorney couldn't help but release a soft, pain-filled groan as she sat back down hard on the sofa. _No sudden movements_, Alex berated herself. She had to keep reminding herself that she wasn't one hundred percent right now.

Olivia winced at Alex's obvious show of pain, but didn't know what she could do to take it away. "I'll get the door," she said so Alex didn't have to try to get up again. She didn't like to see Alex hurt; it almost caused a physical pain to rise within her, too.

At the door was a smiling woman in her fifties. "Hello. My name is Debbie Raymond. I have an appointment with Alexandra Cabot." She introduced herself and held out her hand to Olivia.

"Olivia Benson," she said, shaking the nurse's firm hand. The nurse's brown eyes were friendly and kind and Olivia immediately like her.

"Where's the patient?" Debbie asked, certain before the introduction that the woman in front of her had too much pain-free movement to be the one she was hired to assist.

"Right here," Alex said from the end of the entrance hall. She walked towards the two women standing by her front door and they both saw the effort it took Alex to maintain her halting gait. "Alexandra Cabot," the attorney introduced herself as she stopped to stand beside the detective.

"Debbie Raymond," the caretaker said, forgoing a handshake when she saw the inflatable cast engulfing the blonde's right wrist. She did note the striking contrast the two women made standing next to each other; the blonde with pale skin that was undoubtedly luminescent when she hadn't just been in a hospital for four or five days and the brunette with healthy olive-toned skin.

"Please, come in," Alex said as she limped back into the living room ahead of her two guests, strongly favoring her injured right leg. She leaned her left hip against the couch to take the pressure off her currently lame leg. "Can I get you something to drink?" Alex asked, ever the consummate hostess.

"No, thank you."

Olivia smirked at the politeness of Alex. She could be a rabid beast in the courtroom, but in her personal life Alex had absolutely impeccable manners. It forever intrigued Olivia that Alex had those two contrasting personality traits tucked away inside of one creature and that they balanced each other so perfectly. And what a beautiful creature they inhabited, too.

Alex had asked the question out of habit, but it also allowed her to stall for time while she figured out how to tell the nurse that her services were not required, at least in the capacity that she was led to believe. The attorney was usually direct about such things, but she was finding the words difficult to form at the moment. Perhaps it was because she still wasn't certain that letting Olivia take over responsibility for tending her injuries was the best idea.

Olivia saw her ADA struggle with herself and decided to just take the decision away from Alex. "Would you mind giving me instructions on what care Alex is going to need? She would feel more comfortable if I were the one to assist her," Olivia explained.

Debbie watched as the dark featured woman situated herself next to her blonde would-be client in a protective stance. It wasn't overtly aggressive, but the message was clearly conveyed that Alex's comfort was of the utmost importance to Olivia right now. And as the nurse intently studied the woman, she doubted that Olivia was even aware of how protective she was acting. She was willing to bet that in any normal circumstance the blonde would bristle at being shielded, but Olivia was able to get around her self-protecting walls.

"Certainly," the friendly nurse replied as she set down her bag and started putting supplies on the coffee table in front of the couch. "You aren't squeamish are you? Because I was told Ms. Cabot had a pretty nasty puncture wound to the upper thigh."

"I can handle it. I've probably seen worse on the job," Olivia answered absently as she walked over to closer inspect the products being meticulously laid out on the table. When she saw Debbie glance up curiously at her, Olivia elaborated. "I'm a detective with the special victims unit."

The nurse nodded her understanding and proceeded with explaining the medical care needed for Alex's thigh wound. "Clean the wound gently with an alcohol swab. It's going to sting, but that's better than getting an infection. Let the excess alcohol evaporate off so that the area is completely dry before applying a liberal coat of this anti-bacterial ointment. Then place a gauze pad over the area and tape it in place. What you need to watch out for is any pus or other discharge coming from the wounds, as it might indicate infection. If that or heavy bleeding starts up again, you need to get her to a hospital."

Olivia listened intently and committed the instructions to memory. It was relatively straight forward and Olivia had no doubt she could follow through with the task. She just hoped nothing went wrong while Alex was under her care, like an infection cropping up. "Do I need to know anything else for her other injuries?" the detective inquired.

Debbie moved over to Alex and inspected the scrapes running across her face carefully. "These look to be healing just fine, but again, if there is any discharge it would be a good idea to see a doctor. As long as the wrist doesn't get any more swollen it should be fine. If you can't start using in about a week's time for small things, I would suggest getting it checked out. Do you have your ribs wrapped, dear?" she asked Alex.

When Alex shook her head no, Debbie finished her analysis. "The ribs may well take the longest time to heal completely. You can wrap them for minimal support if they become too bothersome, but there's not much else you can do. Restrict your movement for a week or two and then slowly rebuild your core muscles once the pain's gone away would be my advice," the nurse said as she gently prodded Alex's injured ribs for any particularly sore spots. She could feel the strength of Alex's torso already and predicted that the woman would make a relatively speedy recovery.

"Thank you," Alex said as the woman pulled her hands back and went to go pick up her bag. She left all of the medical supplies they would need on the table where she had laid them out and said good-bye.

Olivia walked the middle-aged nurse to the door and also thanked her for the instructions. She locked the door behind Debbie before heading back into the living room to Alex. Now she just needed to prepare herself for helping Alex with her shower.


	2. SelfControl?

**Disclaimer:** Characters do not belong to me, they most likely belong to Dick Wolf and/or NBC/Universal. I do this for free, fun entertainment and do not mean to offend anyone.

**A/N:** I forgot the mention at the beginning of the first chapter that this story is partially done in honor of my home state of New York passing a marriage equality law (that means we now allow gay marriage, starting at the end of July). Hooray! Second, I would like to thank everyone who reviewed and alerted, it strokes the ego and kicks the lazy muse into action. As always, all reviews are welcome so please leave one.**  
><strong>

**Chapter 2  
><strong>

Alex was still leaning against the couch staring at the medical products laid out on her coffee table. She wasn't really seeing what she was staring at, instead she was lost in her own thoughts. Those thoughts were focused solely on the mental images she was picturing because she was most likely minutes away from being naked in her shower with Olivia helping her to bathe herself.

Some of her most private dreams started in a similar manner, but got way more intense. Alex was aware that real life was not going to turn out like those wonderful dreams, but she was worried that she wouldn't be able to control her reaction to the beautiful detective. It was enough of a challenge when she was completely clothed and had no physical contact with Olivia. _Maybe this wasn't such a good idea_, the ADA thought once again.

"You okay?" the brunette asked as she walked over to Alex and gently rubbed her hand across the attorney's back. She had seen the spaced-out look in Alex's eyes and wondered what she was thinking about, but it wasn't her right to ask. "You want to shower now?" Olivia asked when Alex finally looked at her but didn't respond to her earlier question.

The blonde nodded her head in acquiescence. She desired a shower and clean hair more than almost anything right now. In the hospital she had been given baths, but they'd only gone through the trouble of washing her hair once. Alex hated feeling as if she had dirty hair; really hated it. Hated it enough to have convinced herself that everything would be fine with their friendship even after her shower.

When Alex continued to just stand there Olivia inhaled a deep breath and took Alex's face in her hands, being gentle of the injuries there. The detective turned Alex's head towards her. "You need to tell me what exactly you need help doing, okay? You need to tell me what you're comfortable with." Olivia made certain that Alex's eyes were locked onto her's and that she understood they would do everything at the ADA's pace. She wasn't looking to distress her friend further.

Alex nodded again but saw that Olivia needed a more concrete answer. "Okay." Her statement was said in a strong voice because she knew Olivia needed her to be sure that she was okay with this. "Thank you."

They stood together for a couple of minutes while Alex organized what she wanted to say in her head. She was a woman of words and she was trying to come up with a way to ask for what she needed, what she wanted. It had never felt so difficult to ask for help that had already been offered.

"Why don't you get ready for your shower. I'll come wash your hair in fifteen minutes, okay?" Olivia said, giving Alex an out. It was somewhat amusing, but also painful to see Alex so uncomfortable and unable to verbally express herself. Olivia liked seeing Alex show emotion, but she preferred that they be pleasant ones.

"Thank you," Alex said again; it seemed to be the only thing that would come out of her mouth right now. She knew that Olivia was just making it easier on her and was thankful that the detective was letting her avoid the embarrassment of asking.

The attorney walked off towards her bedroom to do as Olivia suggested. Her halting steps were more pronounced by the increased pain she was feeling since her medication was wearing off. It took Alex almost ten minutes to get her clothes off; she was feeling rather lethargic from the pain.

Alex got the shower up to temperature and took the used bandages off her thigh wound. She stepped into the shower stall, making sure to keep the sensitive wounds away from direct irritation by the showerhead. It would not feel good to re-aggravate her damaged thigh.

Olivia knocked on the bathroom door and waited for Alex to say she could enter. She walked in but stood outside the shower stall door collecting herself and telling herself that she needed to stay calm. Just do what needed to be done and then leave the bathroom with her dignity intact and her unreciprocated emotions still hidden. That was the outcome she desperately needed to occur.

"Open the door, Liv," came the husky command from inside the shower. Alex was aware that Olivia was likely close to as nervous about this as she was, but it was her opinion that the faster they got this over with the faster they could get back to some semblance of their former relationship; one in which they didn't see each other naked or touch any other way but casually. Their friendship was comfortable and safe, a steadfast pairing that they both needed.

At the husky timber of Alex's voice, Olivia felt a little flame of hope flare to life inside of her that Alex might desire her touch. She immediately crushed it and berated herself for even thinking of taking advantage of an injured friend; not that Olivia had ever been able to convince Alex to do something that she didn't want to before.

Olivia sucked in a breath and did as she was told. She slid open the shower door and was relieved to be confronted with the attorney's back. _Thank God_, Olivia thought. She was already testing her willpower to the limits and didn't even want to think about what she would have done had Alex been facing towards her in her current state of total undress. Topping the list would be joining the wet attorney in said shower, a thought that Olivia desperately needed to erase in order to keep her calm.

The first thing Olivia's eyes were drawn to were the bruises covering Alex's back. She could see why it hurt Alex to move about and imagined that every breath the attorney took must cause her discomfort. Olivia wished, not for the first time, that she could take away all of Alex's pain. She would gladly shoulder the hurt for her dear friend.

When Olivia felt her eyes begin to wander further down Alex's back, she forced herself to halt their progress and brought those roaming eyes back up to Alex's crown. For all that she wanted to see more of Alex, it just wouldn't be right to look without permission while she was in this trusting situation. Plus, Olivia did not need the image of a naked Alex in her mind when she already thought about it way too much. She needed to focus on her task and she saw that Alex had already set out her hair products for Olivia to have easy access to them.

Alex had already soaked her hair and was standing out of the way of the spray so that Olivia could wash her hair without getting totally drenched herself. She tipped her head back and closed her eyes when she felt Olivia begin to massage the shampoo into her scalp. It was a sensation that the attorney thought she would hate because it just reaffirmed her current invalid status, but it was actually very soothing. _Olivia certainly knows how to use her hands_, Alex thought as she enjoyed the attention.

It took a lot of effort on Alex's part to not moan in pleasure as Olivia firmly massaged every inch of her scalp. Just having Olivia's hands on her felt heavenly, but it also felt good to have over a day's worth of dirt and sweat washed from her hair. And as hard as she had tried to suppress any vocal expression of her pleasure, Alex couldn't help the sigh that escaped past her lips.

Olivia couldn't suppress a smile at the involuntary noises coming from Alex that clearly indicated she was enjoying this. If she were perfectly honest, Olivia would admit that she was also enjoying this intimacy, not just because she was allowed to touch a completely naked Alexandra Cabot, but because her touch was soothing the attorney. A gift that Olivia wished the blonde would let her bestow on her for the rest of her life, even if it was only in the guise of friendship.

"Rinse," Olivia commanded and Alex immediately limped carefully over the few feet to maneuver her soapy head under the shower spray. When the water had washed away most of the surface suds, Olivia ran her fingers through Alex's hair until all traces of the shampoo were gone. If she was going to do the job, then she was going to do it thoroughly, especially if it kept her close to her beautiful, intelligent friend. Olivia didn't even care that a decent amount of water was getting absorbed into her maroon dress shirt.

"Conditioner?" Olivia asked as she directed Alex back away from the steadily streaming water. It was not a product that she often used for her own short hair, but Alex had set it out, so she probably wanted to use it.

"Yes, please," Alex answered. Conditioner made her hair so much more manageable, but Alex also wanted to keep Olivia with her for a few minutes longer. This indecisive feeling was one that she only ever felt when she was around her favorite detective and it often confused and mentally tormented her, and yet she kind of liked it. She supposed that she was some kind of indecisive masochist when it came to all things Olivia Benson.

Again, Olivia slicked the creamy liquid through Alex's hair before letting it settle and then rinsing it out. "Do you need me for anything else?" Olivia asked once Alex's hair was completely clean.

"No, thank you," the attorney said. Alex deeply desired to turn around and look at Olivia, but couldn't bring herself to compromise her modesty. She was not the type of person to open herself up to unnecessary criticism in her personal life and turning to face Olivia would leave her too exposed.

"Okay. I have to go down to the front desk. You'll be fine for a few minutes while I'm gone?" Olivia asked. She was mostly concerned that Alex would become unbalanced by her thigh injury and slip and fall in the shower, further injuring herself. Olivia was aware that she wouldn't be staying in the bathroom, so she couldn't prevent it from happening even if she was in the apartment, but she would be close by for assistance afterwards.

"I'll be fine, Olivia. I'm not a total invalid, you know." Olivia heard the smile in Alex's voice even if she couldn't see the attorney's face. Her concern was appreciated, but unnecessary. Even so, Olivia would try to make her trip downstairs as quick as possible to be here if Alex did need her for something.

Olivia exited the bathroom, leaving the door cracked open so that sound would carry more easily if Alex needed to call her back in. She grabbed Alex's keys off the kitchen table and walked out the door. The door locked on its own but Olivia checked the door anyway to be sure.

The detective made a quick trip back down to the security desk. "Your keys," Olivia said as she dangled the set of master keys in front of Sal.

"Going home?" Sal asked as he took the keys and clipped them back onto his belt.

"No, I just thought you'd like your keys back. Don't want you to get in trouble for handing them out," Olivia said with a smile. She liked the security guard and didn't want him to get reprimanded on her behalf.

They talked for almost ten minutes before Olivia was able to extract herself from the conversation, feeling guilty that she had left Alex alone for a lot longer than she had said she would. "Hey, how are you getting back in?" Sal called across the lobby where Olivia was waiting for the elevator to take her back up to Alex's apartment.

Olivia held up the keys that she had taken from Alex's kitchen table, jingling them softly. "I borrowed Alex's keys," the detective called back.

As the elevator doors were closing Olivia heard Sal suggest that she just get her own set. Olivia knew she had no right to her own set of keys to Alex's apartment, but those throw-away words planted a seed. Her mind didn't need help creating fantasies about Alex, but those words forced Olivia to think about all the sweet, non-sexual, things that would come with having Alex as her girlfriend. Olivia particularly wanted those moments of infinite happiness.

It didn't take long to get back into the apartment and Olivia immediately went to Alex's bedroom, whose door was shut. She knocked firmly on the wooden door and waited for an answer. Her hand itched to just open it, but her honor wouldn't let her just barge in on any unsuspecting person, let alone someone she counted at a friend.

"Come back in a few minutes," came the reply from behind the door.

"Okay," Olivia said and she walked away. She took the time to replace the borrowed keys back on the kitchen table and make a few phone calls. Her first call was to Captain Cragen, asking if she could have the next day off. She and Elliot had just closed their most pressing case and if she could get tomorrow off then she would be free to stay with Alex all weekend, as Munch and Fin were catching instead of her and Elliot.

Olivia had a lot of time coming so Cragen had no problem authorizing her time off, especially since he knew why she was taking it. The detective did offer her assistance if too many cases came in and they got stretched too thin. She would have to call that nurse back if she got called out to a scene, but she would rather just be here for Alex.

The second call Olivia made was to a local Chinese restaurant that delivered. She and Alex had eaten enough late night meals over trial preparation to know the menu choices the ADA preferred. The woman who took Olivia's order assured her that the food would arrive within twenty minutes and Olivia's growling stomach was happy that Chinese food, around here at least, was always prepared so quickly.

Her phone calls had taken enough time that Olivia felt comfortable knocking on Alex's bedroom door again. This time she was invited in and took in the sight of Alex sitting at the end of her bed wearing a baggy black t-shirt and a towel draped over her legs. Alex must have taken out her contacts because she was wearing her black-framed glasses, a look that Olivia loved on the ADA.

Alex looked up at the detective and smiled; another adorably crooked one. "Medical paraphernalia?" she asked when she saw Olivia's empty hands.

"Right. I'll be right back," Olivia said in embarrassment as she swept back out of the room.

Alex chuckled at Olivia's slip and waited patiently for her friend to return. The attorney didn't have to wait long for Olivia to get back and place the needed medical supplies on the bed beside Alex. Olivia knelt beside her friend and looked into her eyes for permission to remove the towel and dress her wound. Alex nodded her consent and held her breath as Olivia got her first look at Alex's puncture wound.

Olivia sucked in a breath at the ugly red mark marring Alex's perfect alabaster skin. She had seen much worse injuries, but none of them had been on her dear friend and that was what made the wound look that much worse than it really was. "Sorry," she whispered softly, not able to force her voice any louder at the moment. Olivia knew that Alex was uncomfortable with her obviously distressed reaction.

Alex was only slightly disturbed by Olivia's reaction to her injury. She knew that the mark wasn't pretty, but it would heal and hopefully not leave too distinct a scar behind. Oddly enough, at least to Alex's way of thinking, she had never cared about the few scars that already marked her body from past sporting misadventures until Olivia was right here in front of her looking at another one.

What made Alex more uncomfortable was that she was sitting in front of Olivia in only a t-shirt and a pair of panties. The puncture was high enough on her thigh that even a pair of shorts would have hindered the medical ministrations it required. God, she was sitting half naked in front of the woman that she secretly loved and said woman was going to be touching her. Alex just desperately hoped that she could control her breathing and body for the few minutes it would take Olivia to dress her wounds.

Olivia soothed Alex's obvious inner turmoil by gently rubbing her uninjured thigh. She removed her hand when she realized what she had unconsciously been doing; her honor code wouldn't allow her to feel good about that and she mentally berated herself for taking such an intimacy without asking permission first. Olivia wasn't a prude, but her chosen career and the circumstances of her birth had instilled a very strict code of conduct within her, particularly in regards to physical contact. Alex wasn't the only one who didn't like having strangers touch her.

It only took Olivia a few seconds to refocus on the task at hand and push her inner thoughts to the back of her mind. She organized the medical supplies on the bed and proceeded to dress Alex's thigh. When she was done, Olivia started to gather up the products, but Alex stopped her and stood up to turn around.

"Jesus," Olivia said as she saw the second wound on the back of Alex's thigh. "It went through your leg. What the hell was it?" Again Olivia gently caressed Alex's thigh, this time feeling less guilty, and wishing Alex hadn't crashed her bike and caused this pain.

"Tree limb," Alex answered, knowing Olivia wouldn't like it. "Not the most pleasant thing I've ever felt." She was trying to get Olivia to lighten up and distract herself while Olivia finished wrapping her thigh. Alex had never been one of those nervous talkers who just spewed off anything when they were uncomfortable, but no one had ever made her the kind of nervous that Olivia did. It was an odd sensation to feel so completely comfortable when in her presence while at the same time having those nervous butterflies flying around drunkenly in her stomach.

"Not funny, Alex," Olivia said as she got up off the floor after finishing her task. "Any other injuries you've been hiding?"

"You saw me naked, so you tell me," Alex joked, surprising herself at her boldness as the words left her lips. She couldn't believe that such teasing words had come out of her mouth. It was totally unlike her to try to provoke a response from someone in her personal life; she did it often enough in her professional life though.

"I wasn't looking, Alex," Olivia said softly, looking Alex in her beautiful blue eyes and willing her to believe that truth. She wanted her friend to know that she was completely trustworthy and would never abuse their friendship. It had been excruciatingly difficult to not look at Alex in the shower, but Olivia's honor would not allow her look without explicit permission. "I'll leave you to finish getting dressed." Olivia turned around, breaking eye contact and walking out the door.

Alex watched Olivia walk out of the bedroom and close the door behind her. She pulled a pair of blue shorts out of her drawer and shuffled back to the bed to pull them on. Her right leg couldn't take her full weight long enough for her to get the shorts on while standing up, so she used her bed for support.

* * *

><p>Olivia was just getting off the apartment phone when Alex came limping out of the bedroom. "Dinner's here. You sit right here on the couch and I'll be right back." Olivia directed Alex towards her spot on the couch, the only thing preventing her from picking Alex up was the knowledge that the attorney would argue incessantly with her for doing it. And Alex certainly knew how to argue, knew how to argue <em>and<em> get her way, a dangerous combination.

"Dinner?" Alex asked when she was situated as comfortably as she could get on the couch. Olivia had refused to leave before making sure Alex was actually sitting and not about to do anything that could possibly construed as physical. She was sweet, but a little overprotective now that she knew the full extent to Alex's injuries. Actually, Olivia was overprotective before that, but Alex was willing to let it slide for the moment.

"I ordered while you were finishing with your shower," the brunette detective said as she was running out the door. She poked her head back into the living to give one final instruction before leaving the apartment. "Don't move from that spot. I'll be right back." It was a command with force behind it, but Olivia didn't mean it in a domineering way.

Alex rolled her eyes but couldn't argue with a person who was already out of earshot. As she was thinking about it, Alex did find it odd how she wasn't offended by how Liv was treating her. Normally, she would give someone a tongue lashing (not the pleasant kind) for insinuating she couldn't take care of herself, but she found that protectiveness absolutely endearing in Olivia. It was endearing even when that protectiveness wasn't focused on her, although she kind of liked it now that it was.

_Christ_, Alex thought, she really needed to get over this crush and bring some action into her love life. But that was the problem, wasn't it. Alex knew it wasn't just a crush she felt for Olivia; knew it wasn't just some itch that needed to be scratched, not that she wouldn't find a way to be up for it if Olivia decided to come on to her tonight. _Yeah, in my dreams_, wished the attorney. And now Alex could only think about how pathetic that was; she would take any attention that Olivia threw her way and beg for more.

Alex whipped her head onto the back of the couch. _So pathetic_. She was in complete control in her personal and professional life until Olivia Benson stepped into her periphery. Then she became a trembling, nervous wreck on the inside while presenting the cool, collected exterior to the world. Not easy. Not easy at all.

It only took about five minutes for Olivia to get back to the apartment with the Chinese food. She found Alex right where she had told the attorney to stay, but her head was thrown back against the top of the couch. "Alex, are you okay?" Olivia asked with concern as she hurriedly set the take out bag down on the coffee table and moved forward to examine the injured attorney.

"Fine. Just sitting here. Doing nothing just like you demanded," Alex said teasingly, gracing Olivia with one of her rare sparkling smiles that Olivia saw more than any other person. It wasn't that Alex didn't smile often, but when she was around Olivia she seemed to employ a more genuine smile than what she normally let show.

"Good. You just continue doing that while I grab some plates and utensils." Olivia left the bag of food on the table and made her way to the kitchen. She had only been in Alex's apartment a handful of times but she remembered every detail, and it wasn't just because of her training as a detective.

Alex was sitting on the edge of the couch pulling containers out of the bag and setting them on the table when Olivia returned. "Hey. I thought I told you to sit back and relax." The tone Olivia used indicated she was teasing, knowing that she was being a little too overprotective of the ADA. She just couldn't seem to rein in her protective nature around Alex now that she'd seen the injuries the blonde had sustained firsthand.

"Any more relaxation and I might as well be dead. I've done nothing for the past four days. Just let me help out a little." Alex almost pleaded the last bit. She knew Olivia wasn't trying to make her feel useless, but it was annoyingly unpleasant to not be able to do anything for herself.

"I'm sorry, Alex." Olivia set down their dinnerware before heading back into the kitchen. "What do you want to drink?" She knew that Alex often preferred a glass of wine with dinner, but was certain that was not an option with the pain medication she was currently taking.

"Soda," Alex called from the living room.

"What kind?" Olivia called back as she pulled open the refrigerator door. "Never mind," she said while rolling her eyes after taking a look in the fridge. Apparently, the only soda Alex drank was Mountain Dew because that's all that was in the fridge except for a couple bottles of water and a carton of orange juice.

Olivia walked back into the living room carrying a 24oz. bottle of Mountain Dew and a bottle of water for herself. "I never took you for a Mountain Dew junkie," Olivia said, sitting down on the couch beside Alex in the same position as she had earlier that afternoon. On the table in front of her was the plate Alex had prepared for her.

"Well, I don't drink coffee and there's no better way to mainline caffeine." Alex paused for a second before continuing on, letting Olivia in on the truth. "That's really just an excuse. I actually just love the taste."

Olivia just nodded her head and picked up her plate. She grabbed a pair of chopsticks that Alex had taken out of the delivery bag and offered them to Alex, knowing that she wouldn't take them.

Alex held up her right wrist, once again encased in a removable cast, and shook her head. "There are many things I can do with my left hand, and I'll bet using chopsticks is one of them if given enough time to practice. However, I'm really hungry and too tired to put in the effort." She picked up the fork Olivia had brought from the kitchen and dug in.

Olivia followed Alex's lead and they ate in silence for a few minutes. They eventually worked their way into a conversation, mostly discussing the case that Olivia and Elliot had just closed earlier that day. It's not like Alex wouldn't eventually be prosecuting it, so there was no reason to shy away from the topic. By the time the case was ready for trial, Alex would hopefully be back in the courtroom.

After they were finished, Olivia took their dirty plates into the kitchen and washed them, not wanting to leave a mess in Alex's apartment. She then grabbed the leftover containers and placed them in the refrigerator.

Olivia sat back down on the couch and looked over at Alex. Her hair was still damp from the shower and adorably messy. "Do you want me to brush your hair?" Olivia asked as she gently ran her fingers through the damp locks. "Not that it doesn't look good. You could totally rock the messy look," Olivia said with a mix of teasing and sincerity. She really did think it looked good, but Olivia had a hard time picturing Alex going to court without every single hair in place. Unfortunately she could way too easily picture Alex with hair even messier than that after a night with her, and that caused another heated wave of awareness to permeate her body.

"Nobody could look as good as you when you come to work looking like you just rolled out of bed," Alex said teasingly. It may have been one hundred percent true, but Alex put some playfulness behind her words to mask her true thoughts. She loved the detective's short hair and her hands often craved to run their fingers through the shorn locks and feel their undoubtedly soft texture.

Alex took a breath to calm herself before accepting Olivia's offer, if only to have the chance to get away from the detective for the few moments it would take her to retrieve her hairbrush. She was about to get off the couch to get the grooming utensil when Olivia put her hand out to restrain her. "You're not going anywhere. It's in plain sight on your dresser, right? I'll grab it," Olivia offered so that Alex wouldn't aggravate her injuries anymore.

Olivia was gone before Alex could protest, not that the detective could have been swayed from her actions and Alex had no chance of beating her to the brush. While the brunette was gone, Alex could only reflect on her most recent decadent thoughts. She was going to be in so much trouble if Olivia continued to stick around. Even in her injured state Alex's hormones were in overdrive around the detective and she was starting to worry that controlling them was not going to be possible for much longer. It was not a sensation the attorney was familiar with, being unable to control an aspect of her life.

The brunette detective was back in a minute and took up a position behind the couch. She instructed Alex to move forward to sit on the edge of the sofa so she had better access to perform her current job. Olivia had often dreamed about having the privilege of running her fingers through Alex's hair whenever she wanted and although this was a poor substitute for such an occurrence, her actions would surely only feed the fantasies.

Just as when Olivia was washing her hair, Alex couldn't help but be drawn into the soothing repetitive motion. Olivia was very gentle and the task was completed far faster that Alex wished for it to be. The ADA was not helping herself contain her emotions by desperately yearning for more contact while logically knowing that she needed to resist that desire. It was the eternal fight between what the heart wants and what the heads knows is right. Only the truly lucky were able to have both.

Olivia put the brush back into Alex's room before resuming her seat in the living room. "So, you want me to put on a movie or something?" Olivia asked.

"You don't have to stay, Liv. I can take of myself for the rest of the night," Alex said. She knew that Olivia had other cases she could be working on or even getting some much needed sleep. Alex was sure the detective was more of an insomniac than she was.

Olivia walked over to Alex's DVD library and started looking through the titles. "I'm not going anywhere, Alex. So either you can help me pick out a movie or you'll just be stuck with whatever I want," Olivia stated matter-of-factly. She wasn't going anywhere tonight, no matter how much Alex argued.

"Just make it a comedy," Alex said without further protest. She was very familiar with Olivia's stubbornness and knew it was pointless to argue. Truth be told, Alex found it stimulating when Olivia challenged her. Olivia's convictions made her utterly irresistible to Alex. By conceding the point without argument, Alex again let the desires of her heart rule over the rationale of her mind since she was basically inviting Olivia to spend the night.

The detective picked a comedy out at random, just feeling the urge to get back to Alex's side as quickly as possible. It was an urge that she had quite often, but this was an instance where she did squash it immediately. She popped in the DVD before giving in and going back over to the couch to sit on Alex's uninjured left side. Olivia gently pulled Alex back into her, needing to again feel that physical connection they'd had this afternoon. Her light touch gave Alex the freedom to pull away and sit on her own if she wished.

Alex willingly leaned back against her detective. She had dreamed about being held in Olivia's arms for years and waking up there this afternoon had been absolute heaven; something she could get used to feeling for the rest of her life with little effort. Alex tried to distract her runaway thought by making random conversation while the preview played. "You know I've been meaning to have a movie marathon day since I graduated from undergrad. My roommate and I had marathons almost every weekend in college, but I haven't had one since then."

"What do you do when you're not working?" Olivia asked. She burrowed further down into the couch cushions and situated Alex so that she was pressed more securely against her.

"I'm able to watch one movie at a time without feeling too guilty for not working. But then I usually have to do at least three hours of work to sooth my conscience. Sometimes I even get to read something other than legal briefs and case law. But again, I usually can't do that for more than a few hours without feeling guilty for shirking my responsibilities."

"Your job isn't your life, Alex. You deserve some time for yourself, too."

Alex let out an unflattering snort, but refrained from turning to look at Olivia in complete disbelief. "Yeah. Like the job isn't your life. Like you take time for yourself. Lead by example, Olivia, then you can harp on me about how many hours I put into my job." Olivia's dedication was another thing that Alex loved about her, but sometimes it bordered on obsession, and not always in a good way.

"Fine. That's fair, I suppose." The only possible rebuttal she even had was that she was taking time off now to take care of the ADA. Alex may have known she was taking time, but Olivia doubted she was ready to understand the emotions that were behind those actions. Hell, Olivia was barely honest with herself about her own feelings towards the attorney.

Conversation waned after that and they lay comfortably on the sofa watching the movie. Alex was asleep before the end and Olivia switched over to regular television so that she wouldn't have to move too much and risk waking the beautiful attorney up. Not long after that, Olivia herself drifted off into a light, peaceful sleep.

Olivia woke up a little before one in the morning and considered just going back to sleep. Even though she was laying half on, half off the couch and that position was causing a kink in her back, Olivia had never felt more at peace. And while she was willing to accept the aches and pains that sleeping a full night like this would bring, Olivia was unwilling to let Alex go through the same thing, especially with the injuries she had already sustained over the past weekend.

Carefully and gently, Olivia extracted herself from under Alex's sleeping form. Again Alex protested with little groans, the same as this afternoon, but didn't wake up. Olivia stood over Alex for a couple of minutes, just watching the beautiful woman sleep. She eventually tore her gaze away and walked into Alex's room to turn down the covers on her bed. With that done, Olivia returned to the living room and contemplated on the best and least painful way to pick Alex up. She finally just decided to situate Alex's arms around her neck so she could easily support the attorney's back and then put her other arm under Alex's knees to support the lower body.

Alex was maybe an inch taller than she was, but Olivia was built mostly of muscle so she had little difficulty carrying the injured, sleeping attorney in her arms. As soon as Olivia had straightened up with the attorney cradled against her torso, Alex snuggled deeper into Olivia's warmth and clung subconsciously tighter around her neck without waking up. It was adorable and innocent, but the intimacy was not lost on Olivia and she had to work hard to suppress the groan, whether of pleasure or pain even she wasn't sure.

As they were crossing the threshold into Alex's bedroom, Alex nestled her face into Olivia's neck and gave an unconscious kiss to where her lips hovered above the detective's pulse point. Olivia couldn't suppress the involuntary shiver that coursed through her body, or the liquid fire that ignited in her veins. She wanted to drop Alex like a red-hot coal onto the bed before the detective took Alex up on her unconsciously made offer and did anything that they both wouldn't forgive her for, but she was forever gentle with the blonde and instead placed her gently on her back before pulling the covers up over her chest.

Olivia would have liked to stay and watch the woman sleep for a little while, but didn't trust herself to keep her lust in check after feeling Alex nuzzle her neck. Another vicious shiver convulsed her body just thinking about that too intimate contact that Alex wasn't even aware she had made. The past couple of minutes formed yet another, more tangible memory that would now haunt Olivia in both her sleeping and waking hours. She'd already had fantasies about how it would feel to have Alex touching her, but she had never imagined that one innocent, unpremeditated touch would feel a thousand times better than the most intimate touch she had ever dreamed about. Olivia was now certain that she would lose herself if she and Alex ever became lover.

The brunette pulled the door almost closed behind her, leaving it open only a small crack in case Alex needed her during the night. She made her lonely way back to the couch and settled in for another few hours of sleep. The couch was actually rather comfortable when one was able to stretch out full length on it and Olivia had slept on worse surfaces in her life, so it would be fine for the night.

As with every night since she had met the ADA, Olivia drifted off to sleep with thoughts about the blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman at the forefront of her mind. She knew that her every dream, that night in particular, would feature her blue-eyed goddess.


	3. Stay

**Disclaimer:** Characters do not belong to me, they most likely belong to Dick Wolf and/or NBC/Universal. I do this for free, fun entertainment and do not mean to offend anyone.

**A/N:** Small warning in this chapter for die hard fans of the show, I take liberties with Olivia's past, mostly her college days, that has no basis in the show. Also, this chapter sort of ran away from me a little to places I hadn't really planned for it to go, but I like it. As always, please leave a review if you can.**  
><strong>

**Chapter 3  
><strong>

Olivia woke up at five, her internal clock never letting her forget the days in college when she got up at that time to go to work before her classes began. She'd had two jobs in college at all times, one that started ungodly early in the morning so that she would be out in time for classes in the afternoon and the other that ended ungodly late at night or, more accurately, in the early morning hours. On a usual night, Olivia would get three hours of sleep max, but at least it prepared her for the hectic hours she often pulled at SVU.

As per usual, Olivia woke up covered in a light sheen of sweat that was a direct result of her dreams. Olivia only ever dreamed in nightmares or fantasies and although they left completely different emotions behind, they both tended to evoke similar physical responses; namely, elevated heart rate, rapid, shallow breathing, and sweat that coated her skin in a thin layer.

At least last night's dreams had been along the fantasy line and therefore pleasurable, even if unsatisfying. It was no less than Olivia expected, being less than a hundred feet away from the beautiful attorney who held the starring role in every single sexual fantasy she'd had for the past four years. She hadn't even tried to resist the attraction to Alex when she'd first felt it, sure that it would burn itself out when she did nothing to feed it. Oh, how Olivia wished her prediction had come true.

Olivia pulled herself from her inner thoughts and sat up on the couch. She stretched her arms above her head and rolled her neck around on her shoulders before standing up and proceeding to stretch out her back and leg muscles. It was important to Olivia to stretch out her muscles as she'd sustained a mysterious back injury during her high school years that had made any sort of movement particularly painful. To this day she had no idea what had caused it, nor did the doctors she had seen at the time, but when it finally went away on its own after a couple of months, Olivia started an exercise regimen that she believed attributed to it never reoccurring.

The last time Olivia had stayed over at Alex's apartment, the attorney had started her day at seven. Olivia didn't know if that was habit, as it was with her, or if Alex awoke at different times depending on what she was doing that day. She just decided to play it safe and leave a note for Alex saying that she was taking the attorney's house keys and would be back in a couple of hours.

Olivia crept down the hall towards Alex's bedroom door and quietly peeked around the corner at the peacefully reclined figure. As far as Olivia could tell, the ADA was still sleeping peacefully in the large bed that dwarfed her tall frame. She almost could have passed for a child except that Olivia was overly aware that Alex did not have the body of a child. _Nope, all woman there_, Olivia thought. And after last night, Olivia knew what that body felt like in her arms, if not in the way that she had often dreamed about. But Olivia thought it might have been better than what she had often dreamed about, even if there was no fulfillment of her deeply held desires.

The detective took a moment to ingrain the visual before her into her mind, the picture she would have memorized last night had she been able to trust herself, before pulling back and collecting the keys that would let her back into the apartment. She would go to the gym for a quick workout and then home to shower and pick up enough clothes to last through the weekend. There was no doubt in Olivia's mind that Alex would protest to being taken care of by a live-in "nurse" all weekend, but Olivia had seen the flashes of pain that had crossed Alex's face during their few hours together yesterday. Because of that, Olivia wouldn't let the attorney argue her way out of a helping hand for at least this weekend.

At the security desk was a different guard than yesterday, one that Olivia had only encountered once before when she'd been called out to a scene in the very early morning on a night that she'd stayed over at Alex's after a particularly difficult case had fallen apart. She nodded at him in acknowledgement as she signed out of the visitors' log. The detective strode purposefully out of the building and hailed a cab. There were enough taxis on the street that Olivia was easily able to flag one down and give the address to her gym.

It was not Olivia's job or the benefits of exercise that kept Olivia going back to the gym, although those reasons didn't hurt. What kept her going back was the ability to work out her frustration on the machines there. Everyone thought that Elliot was the only one with occasional anger issues, but he just wasn't as good as Olivia at directing his anger towards other things, things that wouldn't get him reprimanded. Almost everyone had demons they needed to exorcise, but Olivia had learned long ago that hers were in her very DNA so there was no escaping them completely, just keeping them in-check. Olivia found the heavy punching bag most useful for beating her demons into submission for a short time but sometimes a more complete workout was required, which was why she had a gym membership instead of just installing a punching bag in her apartment.

After almost an hour and half at the gym, a lot longer than she had been planning to spend there, Olivia took a quick rinse off shower in the locker room before pulling her work clothes from yesterday back on and grabbing a cab home. She happily stripped out of the clothes she had been stuck wearing for the past twenty-seven hours as soon as she entered her apartment; stripping and throwing her clothes haphazardly across the floor of her home on her way to the much desired shower.

Olivia made her way to her bathroom and took a more thorough shower than the rinse off she'd had at the gym. She supposed she would have to get used to the idea of using Alex's bathroom for the next few days if she was going to be staying over there. At least she wouldn't have to use the one through Alex's bedroom; Alex's penthouse apartment also had a guest bathroom.

There was an internal debate going on inside Olivia about what she should wear back over to Alex's apartment. Should she dress down in casual clothes or go in work attire just in case she got called in? In the end, Olivia just decided to wear a nice pair of dark blue jeans and a black button-up shirt over a navy blue undershirt. Completing her outfit was her standard black belt. It was comfortable and wouldn't be completely inappropriate if she was called out to a scene. She put her gun and shield in her duffel bag, not needing to wear either while not on the job.

Olivia packed the clothes and a few other things that she would need while staying at Alex's for the weekend. She knew that Alex wouldn't need her attention every minute, so she brought along a couple of solitary activities that she could do, such as reading and a little handheld electronic game that she'd gotten for boring stakeouts.

Her life was her job, so it would be an interesting experiment to see how the next few days went while she was away from it voluntarily. She was certain it would be better than if she was forced off the job, such as how Alex must feel. Olivia wasn't sure it was going to be a completely pleasant experience being around an Alex who wasn't _allowed_ to go into work yet. They were quite similar to each other in regards to how seriously they took their jobs and Olivia knew she would not be a pleasant person to be around if she was kicked off the job for a little while.

It was just past seven thirty when Olivia caught another cab in front of her apartment building to bring her back across town to Alex's building. She had never used so many different taxis in such a short span of time in her whole life, and most of her life had been spent in this city. Olivia was thankful that she usually used a company car because it was really becoming quite the hassle, paying for every little trip.

When she arrived back at Alex's, Olivia signed back in before heading up to the top floor. It was going to get annoying to keep signing in and out every time she entered or left the building for the next couple of days, so she made a mental note to ask Sal later if there was a simpler way they could do that. She wasn't there to do anyone any harm, honest. Perhaps it would be a good idea to get an extra key for the next couple of days, but Olivia threw that idea out when she realized it was mostly a selfish thought because she so desired that feeling of domesticity with Alex.

Olivia quietly let herself into the apartment, conscious of the possibility that Alex might still be sleeping. She dropped her duffle bag by the side of the couch and stood still in the silence for a minute, listening for sounds of movement or anything else that would indicate Alex was awake. There was nothing to signify that the attorney was up yet, so Olivia walked to her bedroom door and for the second time that morning peeked inside.

Alex was still sound asleep, lying on her back with her hair strewn about in disarray on her pillow. Olivia quickly backed out of the room this time. The longer she allowed herself to stare at Alex's ethereal beauty, the stronger her feelings became for what she knew she couldn't have. Olivia already wasted too much time on impossible fantasies starring Alexandra Cabot. Those were the only two things her days consisted of, working and dreaming about a woman she desperately wanted but knew there were too many obstacles for them to overcome. The one that Olivia always forced herself to remember was Alex's political aspirations; a goal she had never kept secret no matter how stuck up and bitchy it made her seem.

Not really sure what to do with herself now that she reaffirmed that Alex was still sleeping, Olivia went out to the kitchen to find something to eat. She was hungry after her workout, so she thoroughly searched the room for something edible. It was when she had finished routing around that Olivia realized Alex must not spend much time at all at home and almost none of that small amount of time cooking. The only thing in the refrigerator besides their leftovers from last night and a whole lot of Mountain Dew was some orange juice, no pulp, and some moldy cheese that Olivia was pretty sure wasn't supposed to be eaten moldy, like blue cheese or gorgonzola was. Pickings in the cupboards weren't much better, yielding only some crackers, a couple cans of soup, and a few boxes of macaroni and cheese; that last item completely surprised the detective, not pegging the ADA as a kid's mac-n-cheese lover.

That settled it, Olivia was going out shopping. Her own apartment may not have been particularly well-stocked, but it was a hundred times better than this. Olivia at least usually kept the essentials around so she didn't have to order out every time she was home and hungry.

The house keys still in her pocket from her last trip out, Olivia pulled her leather jacket on against the nippy early morning May air on her way out of the apartment. She asked at the security desk where the closest grocery store was and got directions to a small family owned shop only a few blocks away. Olivia decided that she would just walk there and get only the essentials so she would be able to walk back, too.

She set off at a brisk pace and found the market within ten minutes. The store was small but well-stocked and the employees were very friendly. They had just gotten their morning deliveries in, so Olivia had her pick of all the best products. It didn't take Olivia too long to pick out a couple varieties of her favorite fruits, some eggs, bacon, and other fixings to make omelets. That's what Olivia was hankering to have for breakfast this morning, so she hoped that would work for Alex as well.

Olivia paid for her purchases and made her way back to the apartment with a full paper bag in each arm. It had been a long time since Olivia had actually enjoyed doing something so domestic instead of just looking at it as a necessary annoyance. The circumstances were certainly different today than they usually were. She wasn't rushing to the store before having to get to work or after work when she was already dead tired, and of course, she usually only had to be concerned with what she wanted to eat, not anyone else. Olivia didn't entertain at her apartment very much, and the people she usually invited over weren't there for food.

It was a little surprising to the detective that she was looking forward to making a meal for the ailing ADA. Cooking was not something that Olivia particularly enjoyed doing and she wasn't that great at it since there was little time in her life for her to practice such a skill. The only factor that made her desire to cook for the ADA unsurprising was that she would do just about anything for Alex, especially something that she didn't want to do. It was like doing something she didn't enjoy had so much more meaning behind it.

Olivia got back to the apartment and immediately began unpacking the groceries. Anything that she needed to make breakfast was left out on the counter and everything else was put away into Olivia's best guess as to where Alex would store it. She hadn't bought anything that she didn't plan on using in the next couple of days anyway, so if something was misplaced it would be gone by the end of Olivia's stay.

It took just a few minutes to prep what she needed before she started cooking. Olivia had decided that a mushroom, ham, and cheese omelet sounded good, so she sliced up some mushrooms and diced up some ham before putting the pan on the stove to heat up. She cut up enough fixings to make two omelets in case Alex wanted the same thing she was having.

Once Olivia started cooking, it didn't take long for the omelet to come out almost perfectly, one of her flips hadn't ended quite right, and the bacon that she was cooking on another skillet to crisp up nicely. The smells were quite delicious if Olivia did say so herself and she was kind of hoping those smells would drift their way into Alex's room and coax the woman awake.

Olivia's wish came true, and when she turned around to put her finished plate on the table Alex was leaning against the kitchen doorframe. It was apparent that she had settled in the doorway because she didn't want to startle Olivia when she was so focused on her task.

Alex looked slightly rumpled from her solid nine hours of sleep and Olivia smiled at her while gesturing for her to sit down at the table. "I have a mushroom, ham, and cheese omelet here with your name on it if you want. If you don't like that combination then I can put other things together for your omelet," Olivia said while offering up the plate for Alex's inspection.

The ADA pushed herself out of the doorway and made halting progress over to the kitchen table. "That sounds delicious, Olivia. I'll take it," she said as she looked at the mouth-watering plate of food and felt her stomach growl at the delightful smell. Olivia waited for Alex to settle herself into a chair before placing the food in front of her. "Thank you, Liv. You're being way too kind," Alex said as she picked up her fork to dig in.

"Not too kind. Just kind enough," Olivia shot back. She focused on Alex long enough to make sure she was enjoying the meal before turning back to the stove and preparing her own breakfast. It was ever quicker than before since the cooking pan was already up to temperature and Olivia was sitting at the table across from Alex in no time. "So, how is it?" Olivia queried, not exactly fishing for a compliment, but she did want to know that her food was at least edible. Alex's opinion always seemed to matter.

"Delicious," Alex said after swallowing a mouthful of orange juice, which Olivia had also poured for her. "I barely ever cook and I rarely eat breakfast unless I'm grabbing a bagel on my way into work. I mean I probably haven't even eaten an omelet in over a year. You did good, detective. Thank you." Alex had no other way to express her appreciation except with words, so she was happy to oblige. If she had been left to her own devices this morning she probably would have eaten the leftover Chinese from last night; not a very healthy breakfast, but she was in no condition to go out shopping for something else yet.

"You are welcome. I usually end up cooking at least once a week. Cap forces me out of the precinct by threatening me with forced vacation and I have no choice but to go home, so I usually feed myself. It's something to do that can take my mind off my current cases."

Alex was finished with her meal before Olivia, but she stayed seated at the table. She looked at the clock on her microwave, the kitchen appliance that she used most often when cooking, and noticed that it was past the time when Olivia was usually at the precinct. "You're late for work, Liv. I'll do the dishes."

Olivia raised a dark eyebrow in questioning disbelief. "I don't think so. Your wrist is still too sore to really let you grip anything." The detective had noticed that Alex had forgone the removable cast this morning but had still chosen to eat using her left hand instead of her usual right. "And I'm not late. I have today off," she said as she stood and gathered up the dishes, ignoring Alex's protests.

"You always work Fridays. Why do you have today off?" Alex lowered her eyelids and glared at the detective, daring Olivia to lie to her. She knew why Olivia had taken the day off, but she wanted confirmation so she'd feel more justified in mouthing off to the brunette.

Olivia put the dishes in the sink before turning back around, leaning against the counter, to face Alex. She was ready for this argument, meaning that she didn't really have anything specific prepared to say but she had the conviction to not back down. "I took today off yesterday, so I can't go in to work even if you force me to leave." Not a completely true statement, but she would get chewed out by Cragen if she showed up without being called in today.

"I don't need to be baby-sat," Alex almost spat out between clenched teeth. It didn't help calm her to see Olivia standing in a defensive posture with her arms crossed over her chest.

The detective was not expecting Alex to protest with so much venom in her tone. It didn't weaken her resolve, but it did force a change in her demeanor from one of immovable strength to one of cautious vulnerability. "Alex, I'm not just doing this for you, okay?" she said gently as she moved towards the rigidly seated attorney and dropped to a knee in front of her. Olivia reached out and took Alex's healthy left hand into both of her own. "I _need_ to know that you're doing okay and the only way I'll be satisfied is if I stay with you. At least through this weekend… Please let me stay."

It was as close to begging as Alex had ever heard Olivia come and it broke her heart. Olivia obviously cared about her deeply, even if it was only as a friend, and Alex wondered if she was being selfish by insisting to be left to care for herself. It was certainly a little matter of pride to her because she was so used to being self-sufficient and it actually scared her a little to _have_ to trust in someone else. Alex did trust Olivia; she just didn't want the brunette to see her in her currently weak state.

But looking down at Olivia and seeing the detective supplicate herself before her, Alex loved the strong, caring woman even more. The attorney extracted her hand from between Olivia's and cupped the detective's face, running her thumb gently across the olive-toned cheek beneath it. "I'm sorry, Liv. Please stay." There was no other answer Alex could possibly give when she looked into her detective's soulful brown eyes.

Olivia had not meant to let so much emotion into her explanation, but it was all true and she wouldn't take it back, especially since it had gotten Alex to acquiesce. She'd left herself open to Alex's criticism, but had thankfully escaped unscathed, except for the jolt of electricity that shot straight to her heart when Alex had touched her.

The detective mentally berated herself for reading too much into one touch just because it was the first time Alex had been the one to initiate contact, instead of it always being by her. Olivia well knew that she would give Alex anything she asked for. A_nything_. All Alex ever had to do was say the word and Olivia would be there, but until she did Olivia would continue to conduct herself as a friend. If Alex needed her to be the friend then she would happily play the part and keep her deeper feelings locked away as she had for years. It was better to be near the ADA in this capacity than be rejected and have all ties severed, outside of work.

"Thank you," Olivia said. She pushed her face deeper into Alex's pleasurable touch for a split second before breaking eye contact with the blonde and regaining her feet. "I'll do the dishes. Then we can change your bandages."

Alex watched Olivia change so quickly from being vulnerable back into her usual strong self. She even questioned if her mind was playing tricks on her because she could have sworn that Olivia had pressed contentedly into her hand just a second ago. _Wishful thinking_, she assured herself.

Although it was difficult to watch the vulnerable, emotional Liv go back into hiding, the take charge Liv was safer for Alex to be around; she had more practice being around this version of Olivia. Alex was strongly attracted to Liv's usual commanding attitude. Even so, she found it easier to suppress the intense lust that personality trait invoked than the feeling of love that Olivia's emotional side always brought out of her. And while Alex was fine with taking some risks in her professional life, she firmly refused to do so in her personal life; particularly when it came to the sexy brunette detective currently washing dishes in her kitchen.

There were few breakfast dishes to wash, so Alex decided to get a head start to her room; she felt like a flipping turtle could beat her in a race right now while she was in her current lame state. Alex removed her shorts and the dirty bandages when she was safely in her room and took some time to look over the thigh wound. It certainly didn't look pretty, but all Alex cared about was that it didn't get infected and land her back in the hospital.

Alex had taken a pill for the pain when she'd woken up this morning, mostly because she wanted to head off the pain she knew she'd feel in her leg as soon as she started walking around; that tree limb had destroyed quite a bit of muscle on its way through her thigh. Her wrist was feeling good enough that she was going to let it breathe out of its cast today, but still knew she shouldn't attempt using it yet. The ribs were just a constant source of pain right now, but it was controllable with even breathing and immobility. Today would definitely have to be a day of sitting in one place and doing nothing; boring and just like the past five days, but at least Olivia was here to share her misery or maybe entertain her enough that she didn't want to bash her own skull in from the boredom.

Olivia walked through the bedroom door that Alex hadn't bothered to shut with the necessary medical supplies in hand. She made small talk with Alex while she was re-bandaging the damaged area, asking how the patient was feeling today. The honorary nurse made sure to thoroughly check the wound before and after cleaning it for any signs of pus or other anomalies that would indicate infection, and diagnosed it as problem free.

"Did you stay here last night?" Alex asked curiously when Olivia was finally satisfied that she was telling the truth when she said she was doing fine today.

"Yeah. Was that okay?" Olivia asked in return, wondering if she should have asked first. She had stayed over a couple of times before, but she had always had Alex's explicit permission then.

"Perfectly fine, but where did you sleep? I passed the spare room and the bed is still pristine," Alex said. She knew from past experience that Olivia certainly knew how to destroy a nicely made bed in just one night; Olivia was not a stationary sleeper apparently. And she wouldn't have remade the bed because she knew Alex would insist on changing the sheets, so the attorney had concluded that Olivia hadn't slept in the spare room.

"I used the couch."

Alex looked down on Olivia in exasperation. "You're here helping me out, Olivia. You know you can use the guest bedroom, you've done it before. It's got to be more comfortable than the couch."

Olivia guessed that Alex was slightly miffed because it reflected her ability as a hostess. Alex wanted people comfortable in her home, if anyone was ever invited over that is. "I'll use the spare room tonight, okay? Don't get yourself worked up over nothing." Conversation halted after that since the dressing was almost finished.

When the task was done, Olivia gathered the supplies and left Alex to do whatever she needed to get ready for the day. The detective had thought about what to do today while cleaning the dirty dishes and a perfect idea had struck her. An idea that full credit for went to Alex because she was the one who had brought it up last night. Olivia figured that a movie marathon would be the perfect thing to keep them distracted all day and keep Alex from having to move around too much.

Alex came limping slowly into the living room wearing another baggy t-shirt, a light grey one this time, and a pair of black drawstring pants. Olivia had never really figured Alex for a lover of baggy clothes since she always wore fitted suits to work, but it was surprisingly sexy to see Alex dressed down in figure-hiding clothes. _I am totally hopeless, finding those unflattering clothes sexy on Alex_, Olivia thought with a smile and a shake of her head.

"What?" Alex asked curiously. She had caught Olivia's unreadable smile and couldn't help wondering what had been its cause.

"I just never figured you for a baggy clothes type of person. I guess I'm just learning all your little secrets this weekend. Mountain Dew and baggy clothes, what else are you hiding?" Olivia asked with a smile.

"I don't hide those things. They're just not a part of my public life so most people don't know about them. And it's not that I'm a fan of baggy clothes, but it's easier to get on a shirt that stretches with my ribs and wrist as they are and the pants rub less abrasively against my thigh than tighter pants would. I dress with purpose, not for style when I'm at home," Alex informed Olivia, not disappointed that her straight-laced, put together persona was now shattered for Olivia.

Olivia nodded her understanding; she should have realized that Alex would have a reason for everything she did, including the clothes she chose to wear. The detective directed Alex towards the couch with a stern finger. "Now get comfortable because we've got a long day of movies ahead of us." She had already set two bottles of water on the coffee table in front of the couch just in case they got thirsty, so this way they wouldn't have to get up to quench their thirst.

Alex lowered herself to the couch and looked up at Olivia, who was standing over by the DVD collection. "You listen too closely sometimes," Alex said with a small laugh, knowing this was brought on by yesterday's conversation before their movie started.

"No such thing. So what do you feel like watching?"

Olivia looked so eager to please that Alex couldn't shoot down her idea, not that she had any other better idea to offer up. She had said she wanted a movie marathon and there was nothing else she could think of that she could actually do right now, so she conceded easily. "Why don't you pick the first movie? I'll think of what I want to watch after that and then we can just switch off. Sound fair?" Alex didn't have an overwhelming desire to see any particular movie, so she really wanted the time to think about it.

"Okay, I guess I can agree to that," Olivia said before selecting a movie and inserting it into the player.

They were pretty compatible with their movie choices throughout the day. It turned out neither of them minded talking through movies as long as they had both seen it before. Alex had a hard time getting comfortable until Olivia offered to again let the attorney rest against her. It was really more a command than an offer, but Alex complied anyway because it really was just so damn comfortable.

* * *

><p>This afternoon it was Olivia who fell asleep instead of Alex. There was no way Alex was going to complain since Olivia apparently became possessive when her guard was down. Not long after the detective fell asleep did her right arm slide off the back of the couch and come to rest around Alex's waist.<p>

Alex was surprised at the action until she realized that Liv was unconscious of what she was doing. It may have been unintentional possessive behavior, but Alex was going to take full advantage and enjoy it while it lasted, especially since she wasn't going to get rejected while Olivia slept. Alex moved her left arm up from where it rested alongside both of their reclined bodies and gently ghosted her fingers along Olivia's strong arm, keeping her touch feather-light to hopefully prevent waking the detective.

Olivia was at least somewhat aware of the touch because her grip around the blonde's waist tightened; not enough to cause Alex any pain, but enough to make the attorney's smile pull wider across her face. Alex looked over her shoulder to see if the brunette had awoken, but saw that her eyes were still closed and her breathing was still even and deep.

Taking advantage of Olivia's affectionate mood, Alex laid her head back against the detective's shoulder. She took in Olivia's clean, distinctive scent, something she always noticed when standing close to the detective in the squad room or her office, and knew that this memory would forever be cemented in her memory. There was no stopping the happiness that pervaded every cell in the blonde's body when Olivia turned her head and placed a reverent kiss to the top of Alex's head, still asleep. Olivia softly but clearly mumbled Alex's name before her body relaxed once again and Alex's breath caught in her throat.

_Maybe I should have sporting accidents more often_, Alex thought as her entire body melted at Olivia's unconscious murmuring. Pathetically, if it afforded her more time with Olivia like this then she would almost consider purposely sabotaging her outings. Having Olivia this close to her was almost worth the unending boredom, but Liv would eventually run out of vacation days and not be able to stay with her. Alex mentally smacked herself for having to actually talk herself out of that crazy idea. She was not normally so pitiful.

It was too soon for Alex's liking that her Olivia cocoon was burst by her apartment phone ringing. The workout that phone had gotten in the past couple of days was more than it usually had in a month since Alex was often only home to use her bed and everyone important knew to just call her cell.

Olivia jerked out of her peaceful dreams to the shrill ringing of the phone. She wasn't fully conscious quick enough to stop herself from jackknifing up and therefore dislodging Alex. Since her arm was still around the blonde's waist, Olivia prevented Alex from being dumped unceremoniously to the floor, but the attorney was now hanging awkwardly almost all the way off the couch.

"Fuck," Alex yelled, the sudden movement causing waves of pain to roll through every injury she had suffered this past weekend. "Let go, Liv," she almost cried. She knew that Olivia was trying to prevent her from falling, but the pressure from their positioning was just causing more pain.

Olivia did as Alex said and watched the attorney crumple to the floor beside the couch without moving a muscle once she'd landed. The detective was off the couch in an instant and crouching near her pained friend, hands poised to help but afraid to touch the curled up woman. "Tell me what to do, Alex," Olivia pleading, needing to know how she could help the trembling blonde.

Alex was consumed by the agony for a minute, teeth clenched and eyes squeezed shut against the urge to cry. As the waves of pain became less intense, she was able to uncurl and lay supine on the floor. It took another minute for her to be able to relax her clenched muscles, which had automatically contracted at the pain.

She opened her eyes and looked up into Olivia's concern filled brown orbs. Just seeing her there had a calming effect on the attorney and Alex felt the rest of her muscles go lax. Alex smiled tightly up at the worried detective, wanting to reassure her that everything was going to be fine.

"I'm so sorry, Alex. Are you okay?" Olivia would hate herself if she'd caused Alex any further injuries. Damn it, she shouldn't have been so jumpy, she should have remembered where she was and what position she was in. A thousand would've, could've, should've thoughts sped through Olivia's brain, but they didn't change the facts of what had happened and Olivia needed to focus on Alex right now instead of being angry with herself.

"It's fine, Liv. You didn't mean to. Now go pick up your phone," Alex said with a few winces. Her body was slowly coming back to her from the shock of sudden pain.

Olivia thought Alex was telling her to call a doctor and felt herself slipping closer to panic until she realized that her phone was ringing. Alex was only telling her to answer the call, not that she needed medical attention, thank God.

"Hello?" Olivia answered when she picked the phone up off the kitchen counter where she'd accidently left it earlier. She hadn't wanted to leave Alex alone in the living room but it seemed to be what the blonde had wanted her to do, and right now she would do anything to make up for her horrible slip. Olivia had been so distracted that she hadn't checked the caller ID before answering, but she wasn't particularly surprised to hear Elliot's voice from the other end of the line.

"You okay, Liv?" Elliot asked when he heard the emotion rushing through his partner's voice. He couldn't read what that emotion was, but he didn't think it was a pleasant one. "I'm at the security desk and Sal here just called up, but you guys didn't answer. Is something wrong?"

So that's what that stupid ringing had been about. "No, everything's fine, I think. I just accidently pushed Alex off the couch," Olivia replied. She made her way back into the living room, wanting to see how Alex was doing.

Alex was in the process of slowly picking herself up off the floor. She focused solely on that task until she had succeeded at gaining her feet. Her attention switched to Olivia when she steadied herself and gave the detective a reassuring smile. Olivia hadn't meant to shove Alex off the couch and the attorney knew that the brunette was angry enough with herself for the both of them. Plus, she had tried to prevent Alex from falling, but that'd just expounded on the problem.

"What's up?" Alex asked softly when Olivia came over to stand next to her. She was sure the detective was there just in case she couldn't support herself, but she was feeling pretty good considering the pain of the past few minutes. Olivia's mere presence next to her was lending her untold strength.

"Elliot. He's downstairs. Are you up for more company? You can probably trust him to not toss you on the floor." Olivia's tone was more self-deprecating than teasing.

"Yeah, more company is fine. Tell him to put Sal on the line," Alex demanded as she then held her hand out for the phone, her cool lawyer demeanor making an appearance as she expected to be obeyed unconditionally.

Olivia relayed the message before handing the phone over when she heard Sal on the other end. She listened as Alex told Sal to let Elliot up and then obviously fielded a couple of questions about why she hadn't answered her apartment phone. Sal was a professional and knew how to mind his own business, but he was plainly concerned for Alex and not just asking to be nosy. Alex just kept reassuring him that everything was alright and she just hadn't been able to get to the phone in time.

When Elliot knocked on the apartment door, it was Olivia who let him in. She had insisted on checking Alex over while they were waiting for Elliot's arrival and the attorney had given in when she'd realized it was the only way Olivia could move on towards forgiving herself. After she'd thoroughly inspected Alex, Olivia was emphatic that the blonde sit back down. Again, it was not worth protesting about so Alex just did it to please her self-upbraiding friend.

"Where's the patient?" Elliot asked when he entered the apartment, carrying a covered disposable foil baking pan with him.

"Living room," Olivia said pointing. "What's that?" she asked, indicating the dish in his hands.

Elliot ignored her and walked into the living room to find the ADA in her now standard seated position on the couch. "Hey, Alex. Got some homemade mac-n-cheese here from Kathy," he said, holding up the disposable pan.

"Sweet, I love macaroni and cheese," Alex said excitedly. Olivia just looked around Elliot's large frame at Alex as if she had never seen the attorney before because she certainly had never heard the eloquent ADA talk like a giddy teenager. "Shut up, Liv," Alex said in a tone that was a mix of embarrassment and sulkiness, knowing exactly what the brunette detective had been thinking.

"I didn't say anything," Olivia nearly choked out, trying desperately not to laugh. She should have already been out of Alex's good graces for dumping her off the couch earlier and she didn't want to get into any more trouble with the beautiful attorney.

Elliot gave Olivia instructions on how to bake the pasta, written on a piece of scrap paper because Kathy hadn't trusted him to remember them. He stayed to share dinner with the two women and enormously enjoyed the dynamic they all had outside of the job, something he had already explored with Liv but had never had a reason to with their ADA. Conversation was varied and flowed easily, surprisingly barely ever touching on work.

When ten o'clock rolled around, Elliot said he had to get going and silently signaled for Olivia to walk him out. He watched curiously as Olivia bent down and whispered something to Alex. The attorney nodded and got up carefully before limping over to Elliot, who met her more than halfway when he realized she was coming over to him. Alex gave him a very platonic hug and thanked him for visiting, then limped off towards the back of the apartment.

As requested, Olivia walked Elliot to the door. "What's up?" she asked curiously when they were as far from Alex as possible without actually leaving the privacy of the apartment, assuming correctly that he'd wanted to speak with her out of Alex's earshot.

"What's up?" he asked incredulously. "What's up with you two?" The knowing smile he wore did nothing to reassure Olivia's suddenly rapidly beating heart.

She was so used to denying any feelings she had towards Alex that she stuck to a variation of her usual response, "Nothing is up with us." For all of the intense arguing that she and Alex occasionally got into at work, the boys had started teasing her about her explosive chemistry with their ADA. She always good-naturedly denied it as they were only joking around, not one of them actually suspecting there was any truth behind their ribbing, at least on her side.

The former Marine was no longer fooled by Olivia's casual brush offs and thought back on all the times he and the other guys had mercilessly cracked jokes about her and their ADA. She was his partner; he should have known that there was something deeper beneath the surface with the person that he sometimes had to trust his life to. At the moment he was willing to let it drop if his partner didn't want to talk about it, but he wouldn't leave without making one parting comment. "She'd be good for you," Elliot said softly but strongly, sincerely, before leaving the apartment.

It was all he needed to say to convey what he wanted to. Above all else, Elliot was letting Olivia know that their relationship was still solid, even if she had an attraction to Alex. As far as he had known, Olivia had only had boyfriends in the past, but she never really talked about her that part of her personal life so it was quite possible that she'd also had relationships with women and he just didn't know about them. It wasn't his position to ask and he never had.

Olivia shut the door behind a retreating Elliot and contemplated what he'd said while heading towards Alex's room. He may have been taking a shot in the dark, but that didn't make his parting comment any less true. Alex would be good for her, was right now good for her even in the capacity of a friend. Olivia brought Alex out of her frigid, unapproachable façade and Alex made her feel as if occasionally being vulnerable was okay; she didn't have to try to be in control all the time.

The detective knocked on Alex's bathroom door and entered when allowed. When she'd whispered to the attorney earlier, she had been asking Alex if she wanted to start her shower. It had not been something that Elliot needed to hear, them talking about Alex's hygiene regimen, so Olivia had kept her voice low. And the time it took to walk Elliot out would've given Alex the time she needed to get ready for her shower before Olivia was supposed to wash her hair.

This night went almost identically to the night before in that Olivia helped Alex with her hair in the shower, re-bandaged her thigh wound, and then they sat watching TV for awhile. Again Alex fell asleep on the couch, not pressed up against Olivia this time as the detective was still gun-shy from the mishap this afternoon. Olivia was well rested from her earlier nap, but eventually did get sleepy.

Before she got too tired, Olivia pulled the covers down on Alex's bed and headed back off to the living room to pick the blonde up from the couch. Just like last night, Alex snuggled into her chest as she carried the woman to bed. Thankfully for Olivia's libido, there was no innocently placed kiss to her pulse point and she was sure she was going to get away without any inappropriate actions being committed by either of them.

Apparently, someone out there had other plans because as she was extracting her arms from underneath Alex's body the blonde's beautiful baby blues opened sleepily and she weakly grabbed out for Olivia's receding arm, halting the detective's progress. "Stay," Alex whispered, tugging Olivia feebly back to the bed. She only held on long enough to ensure that Olivia was going to submit to her pleaded request.

Olivia hoped that she was doing the right thing, but she couldn't bring herself to refuse the faintly spoken appeal, especially since she deeply desired it herself. She sat at the end of the bed quickly to pull off her shoes, and also discarded her belt and over-shirt before climbing in next to the blonde attorney.

Alex immediately curled into the brunette's body heat, laying her head on Olivia's shoulder and placing her arm across the detective's tight abdomen. She snuggled down for maximum contact and was fast asleep seconds after attaining her newly manipulated position.

The brunette stared down at Alex in disbelief. Here she was, going out of her mind with want, need, desire, and the object of said desires just drifts off easily into blissful sleep. Life totally sucked from her libido's point of view while it couldn't get any better from her heart's perspective.

_Yup, she was right where she was meant to be._


	4. Back to Work

**Disclaimer:** Characters do not belong to me, they most likely belong to Dick Wolf and/or NBC/ Universal. I do this for free, fun entertainment and do not mean to offend anyone.

**A/N:** First, I am sorry that it has taken me longer to update than usual, but this week my job, the one that pays my bills, is trying to devour my soul. It has another chance tomorrow as I have to go in on a Saturday. Next, for anyone who enjoys the first section of this chapter from Alex's perspective, you have juicetroop82 to thank as I only wrote it in after reading their review. There is also a glimpse of a darker side of Olivia in this chapter, nothing crazy, just wanted to let you all know. As always, thank you so much for the reviews! Leave one if you can. Enjoy!**  
><strong>

**Chapter 4  
><strong>

Alex awoke slowly in the dead of night. She was usually a sound sleeper once she was able to drop off to sleep and was often only pulled from her dreams by an unidentifiable noise. But that couldn't have been what woke her up tonight because she didn't feel the sense of unease that often came with the unknown.

Something was different than it usually was though and it didn't take Alex long to realize that someone else was in bed with her, an occurrence that hadn't happened since she bought this apartment almost five years ago. Not to say that she'd been celibate for the past five years, just that she didn't bring her date's home; she went to their place instead. Alex didn't want anyone else in her bed except for Olivia and she had known that since she'd moved here from Boston to work with the SVU of the NYCPD.

It became apparent rather quickly that she was definitely sleeping next to a female form, a muscular one at that. _This was new_. Alex quickly took in the fact that she was fully clothed, so at least nothing happened last night with her mystery guest, as far as she could tell anyway.

Directly on the heels of her _thank god nothing happened_ thought was the realization that she was in pain; just a dull aching pain, so she wasn't worried about it. And with the acknowledgment of that pain came the comprehension that it could only be Olivia who was in bed with her. Alex then remembered that she had asked the detective to stay with her, and Olivia had.

The attorney raised her head to get a look at her caring friend. There was enough light from the city streets below coming in her open window for Alex to get a look at Olivia's features. Even in the unflattering orange-tinted light, Alex though Olivia looked incredibly beautiful and gave in to her urge to run her fingers along the brunette's cheek. When Olivia didn't even twitch from the touch, Alex leaned up and gave her detective a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth.

She really wanted to place that kiss directly on Olivia's lips, but that was something best saved for when the other woman could actually consent. Alex would not take even a small, innocent liberty such as that with the woman she knew she was in love with. Anything she wanted to do with Olivia would be done with both of them awake and able to enjoy it.

Alex resituated herself against the lithe, athletic body of the detective. She moved her head from Olivia's shoulder to lay it over the brunette's steadily beating heart. Alex wrapped her arm tighter around the detective's waist and let the strong rhythm of Olivia's heart sooth her back to sleep. Never had she felt more secure than when she was in Olivia's arms. Alex's last thought as she drifted off to sleep was that nothing would ever feel as perfect as embracing _her_ Olivia.

* * *

><p>When Olivia awoke in the morning, it was to find that Alex had just crawled more completely on top of her during the night. Alex's head was now positioned below the detective's chin instead of on her shoulder and the attorney's arm had migrated from Olivia's waist to rest just below her breasts. And unlike when they'd fallen asleep last night, one of Alex's legs was now situated between the two of Olivia's. That leg was very close to entering dangerous territory and Olivia needed to get away from the blonde before that could happen.<p>

It took the detective a few minutes to extract herself successfully from the tangle of limbs without waking the blonde, and without further tormenting herself by jostling Alex's leg more firmly against her. She placed a tender kiss to the top of Alex's head and pulled the covers up to take the place of her lost body heat. Olivia felt as if she was stealing the kiss from Alex and it made her feel a little guilty, but it also felt oh so perfect. One day she could only hope to earn the right to cherish the blonde any way she pleased.

The sun was just starting to rise, so Olivia decided to change into some workout clothes and go for a run. She would forego the trip across town to her gym for the next couple of days while she was staying with Alex. Running was something she did at least three times a week, something she learned to do when her first couple of perps took off running to avoid getting arrested. It had surprised her how many ran and how many were actually in decent shape. Now she was pretty good at keeping up pursuit and was proud of her improvement.

Nothing particularly exciting happened over the rest of the weekend. Alex and Olivia settled into a domestic routine with Olivia trying to do absolutely everything and Alex arguing the point but eventually conceding. Olivia would cook for them both, bandage Alex's wounds, distract the attorney from her boredom throughout the day, and continued to help Alex with her showers. The detective was able to make her way to the guest room the last two nights instead of sleeping next to Alex again. It was again a move of self-preservation on Olivia's part because she didn't trust herself to keep things platonic if they shared a bed again.

The attorney needed less sleep each night, which indicated to her that she was healing well, but it left her with more waking hours that she needed to figure out how to fill. Olivia tried to distract her with games, which Alex was grateful for, but she was eager to get back to work. She was an intellectual creature and her work challenged her mind like nothing else, except maybe the perplexing puzzle that was Olivia Benson. And it was Olivia who was preventing her from doing any work because anytime the detective saw her pick up some of the files she had brought home last weekend Olivia would take them away and force another round of games upon her.

Although she knew she would miss Liv, Alex was somewhat happy when Monday morning rolled around and the detective had to go to work. Alex enjoyed her newfound freedom and actually walked, or more like limped, around her apartment instead of sitting like a lump on her sofa. Everything still hurt, but Alex was certain all her injuries were getting better, too. She took the time to limp around the apartment to stretch her disused muscles and get her blood flowing like it hadn't been since before her biking accident; she had been far too inactive since her hospital stay for her liking.

By midday on Monday, not four hours after the detective had vacated her apartment, Alex was back to missing Olivia. When the brunette hadn't been nagging at her to not do anything, they'd had some great conversations. They'd talked about their childhoods and their parents; okay, Alex had been the one to mostly talk about that stuff, but it had been fun anyway. Olivia had talked about her college days and she told some great stories about the days when she was fighting her way through the ranks at the NYPD, before she'd become a detective with the SVU.

Truthfully, what Alex missed the most was just Olivia's presence in her personal space; in her home. She missed the way the detective felt sitting next to her on the couch, the way she looked at home while cooking in her kitchen, or even the way she sounded when she was berating Alex for moving around too much when her injuries were still not healed. There was so much to miss about the overprotective brunette, but Alex didn't have the right to feel so possessive towards Olivia; didn't have the right to ask her to stay longer, yet she couldn't stop herself from feeling that way.

* * *

><p>Olivia was having a particularly busy week. On Monday, she had gotten a call on her way to the precinct that directed her to the hospital. Elliot met her there and they went to talk to the victim. The interview process was always lengthy and redundant, but the more times they went over the attack the more details the victim might remember. Difficult as it was, it was a necessary part of the process.<p>

After almost a week of dead ends, they had finally tracked the guy down. Unfortunately, all the long hours they had put in did not turn up a confession and they had little evidence to speak of; not even the victim could ID her attacker. This was the unfulfilling part of her job; the part that got difficult to take when it happened over and over again, and it would continue to happen.

It was almost nine on Friday night when Olivia was able to leave the precinct and go home. Not even the weekend would bring a respite from the hell of this week because she was catching. She stepped inside her apartment and let the front door click shut on its own. Standing there for a full minute, Olivia could feel the silence press in around her like a tomb. She had been too busy all week to really think about Alex, something she had been grateful for because last weekend had been consumed by the beautiful, intelligent ADA. And while she enjoyed being engrossed in Alex sometimes, she did not want to associate the blonde with the feelings she was having right now.

Olivia strode into her bedroom and unloaded her badge and gun onto her dresser. She thought that a shower might wash away her melancholic mood, so she padded down the hall and turned the water on full blast. Maybe the hot water would burn away the images of all the devastated victims she had seen over the years, images that would forever haunt her.

It wasn't often that Olivia sunk into such a mood, but it was known to happen every year or two. She had once promised herself that if those episodes ever became too frequent, she would quit the job. And not just transfer out of the SVU, but leave the NYPD altogether. There was nothing else she wanted to do with her life, but she would have to leave if her own brain refused to suppress the mental images that sometimes paralyzed her, both mind and body.

Her bouts of depression were usually short and she was able to work through them, she just wasn't able to talk to the victims during that time. People affected by emotional trauma were always more sensitive to detecting it in other people and Olivia knew not to bring the victims any further down than they already were. What Olivia knew didn't help was that she would often drown her depression in alcohol. And as an intelligent person, she knew it didn't help in the long run, just look at her mother, but it was the only legal substance that could give her that temporary numbing feeling she so desperately needed.

Olivia didn't know how long she stood under the spray of the shower, but the water had gone from scalding hot to cold. She didn't particularly feel like completing her shower, but it would be inefficient to not at least wash herself while she was in there, so she did expend the energy. The water was arctic by the time she stepped out of the shower, but she didn't care and it certainly didn't prompt her to move any faster.

She wrapped her towel securely around her torso, covering all that her modesty dictated even in the comfort of her own home. Water still dripped from her hair down the sides of her face and back of her neck, but she wasn't bothered by it; the towel would capture the runaway drops. She walked to her room and again just stood inside the doorway, surveying the spare, neat room with detachment. Everything in here was utilitarian, used only for a necessary end. There was not bright, colorful comforter on the slightly rumbled bed or little knick-knacks on her dark wooden dresser. Only a framed picture of her mother even indicated that an emotional being lived here.

It wasn't that Olivia didn't care, but her bedroom was a place that she thought should hold things she really cared about; personal items. Whenever she had a relatively serious relationship, she would put up a picture of him or her in here, but it had always felt like an obligation; something done for that other person's ego for when they spent the night at her place.

Olivia did, of course, have some pictures of Elliot and his family; they were really like her family, too. However, those were kept in her living room, not in her bedroom. It had always kind of made her feel uncomfortable when she considered putting some of those pictures in her room, so she just decided that they didn't belong there; too many eyes watching her.

It was in these moments when she realized that even her apartment, which she'd had for years, barely had a touch of her personality and she wondered how her life had gotten so barren. She didn't have the time, or make the time, to commit to any relationship, not even friendships. All of the people that she even associated with outside of work were only acquaintances because she met them while working. Most of the time it didn't bother her, but right now she felt like she needed an escape, something to make her forget about every bad thing in her life, and she didn't know if she could find one.

A desire flashed through Olivia so strong that she didn't even consider repressing it. In the fastest motions she'd used since arriving home for the night, Olivia flung the towel from her body, not caring where it landed, and pulled on the quickest set of clothes she could put together, which ended up being a pair of blue jeans and a black v-neck t-shirt. She was out the door and headed across town before talking herself through what she would even say when she got to Alex's door.

* * *

><p>Alex was sitting on her couch, going over some work that she'd been able to get another ADA to bring by her apartment late on Monday afternoon. She may have come to hate her couch because of all the time she'd been forced to spend there, but it was where she'd spent the majority of her time with Olivia and she wanted that emotional closeness again now that the detective was gone from her home. Olivia had only had time to say a quick good-bye on Monday morning before she ran off to work, and now Alex missed her; missed even the annoying things Olivia would do.<p>

It was almost ten-thirty that Friday night when Alex heard a soft knock on her front door; if she had been in her bedroom she certainly wouldn't have heard the sound. Alex was truly perplexed on who could be at her door since the front desk should have called up if she had a visitor. Her best guess was that it was her neighbor from the floor below; a woman named Regina who maybe stopped by twice a year to get Alex's opinion on legal matters. Alex explained to her every time that she was a criminal prosecutor and was not particularly well versed in real estate law, which was what Regina always asked about.

The ADA considered ignoring the knock because it really was too late to be asking for advice, but she was well-aware that Regina would not leave without trying for a solid fifteen, twenty minutes; Regina was very persistent. So Alex got up to answer the door, with a feeling of serenity becoming more and more potent the closer she got to the front of the apartment.

Alex looked out the peephole, no longer expecting to find her red-headed neighbor waiting on the other side of the door. She was overjoyed when she saw Olivia standing outside her apartment and a rush of unfiltered happiness flowed through her body in a spine-tingling wave. Alex was more aware than ever of Olivia and she was no longer going to fight those feelings; she'd continue to fight the actions those feelings were trying to provoke her to do though. Accepting something in her mind was safer than externally showing it.

Quickly releasing the three locks on her door, Alex pulled it open to take in the sight of Liv, undistorted by the glass of the peephole. The detective wasn't looking so good, appearing tired and sallow in the dim light of the hallway. Olivia's usually healthy looking olive-toned skin was paler and Alex wondered if the brunette had gotten sick since leaving her apartment at the beginning of the week. As Alex looked deeper into Olivia's hollow, almost lifeless eyes, she realized it wasn't any physical ailment that was disturbing the detective.

The attorney stepped aside and motioned for the brunette to enter. Alex really wanted to know what was wrong, but easily caught the vibe rolling off Olivia that stated she didn't want to talk about it. The blonde had always been naturally curious, but she was also pretty good at not prying when it would make a friend uncomfortable. And right now Alex was just happy that Olivia had come to her for comfort tonight.

Alex followed Olivia into the living room and watched as the brunette flopped down onto the pristine sofa. She put her head on the back of the couch and threw an arm over her eyes, just sitting there taking in as deep a breath as her stretched diaphragm would allow. Alex also sat down, but with a more controlled descent.

They sat there in silence for almost twenty minutes. Olivia soaked up the calming atmosphere that had started to dispel her depression immediately upon seeing Alex in the flesh. Alex sat without fidgeting, turned slightly so she could easily see any movement Olivia might make, and waited for her friend to either say or do something to break the stillness.

"How're you doing?" Olivia finally asked. She took her arm away from covering her eyes to look into the beautiful blue ones across from her. It wasn't just that she was trying to delay talking about why she was here, not that she fully understood it herself, but she was really curious as to how Alex had faired all week while she'd been too busy to help her out.

"Physically, I'm doing well. I feel stronger every day. And I'm not so bored anymore now that I got Erica to drop off some work for me," Alex said as she pointed to the books and papers spread out on the coffee table, some in neat stacks and others strewn about because they had recently been used.

Olivia looked at the paperwork, seeing it for the first time. She hadn't let Alex get any work done over the past weekend, telling her that she needed to rest and relax. Olivia had no thoughts of rebuking Alex for working now; she needed to feel useful just as Olivia did. "Going well?"

"It's amazing how much work can pile up in just one week. Erica was happy to hand over some of the cases that she knew wouldn't be ready to go to trial until I got back. And it's nice to do something other than just lounge around looking for something good on TV."

Olivia made a non-committal noise, rarely having been housebound during the week with the desire to find something on television to distract her. "Thank you," Olivia said after another few minutes of silence. She didn't say for what, but Alex knew it was just for being there and for not asking the obvious questions she had no desire to answer.

Alex turned on the television and tossed the remote down by Olivia's hand before picking up some files and a legal pad she'd been writing notes on. The detective didn't need conversation, just companionship, and Alex was happy to give her that. So Olivia settle with her feet tucked up under her and flicked through the channels, eventually landing on a marathon of some old sitcom, while Alex settled in to read more case files.

Olivia fidgeted for a while, unable to get comfortable. The near constant movement was distracting enough that Alex put her work neatly down on the coffee table and stared at Olivia until the detective turned her gaze towards the blonde with a sheepish smile, knowing she was not being a very good guest. "Sorry."

"Come here," Alex stated firmly.

Olivia's eyebrow arched in question, not sure what Alex was asking her to do. She scooted a little closer to the blonde and leaned towards her slightly. Alex reached out when Olivia was close enough and pulled the brunette's shoulders down until she was lying with her head in the attorney's lap. Olivia went without protest once she figured out what Alex was trying to do.

"Comfortable?" Alex questioned once Olivia had reconfigured the rest of her body to lie on the couch in a more relaxed position.

"Yes, thank you," Olivia said, turning her head to get a better view of the television. She really wanted to just look up at Alex and get lost in those beautiful blue eyes, but that wouldn't be congruent with their current relationship status. Alex was just being nice to a friend in need that was all, Olivia kept telling herself.

Not long after Olivia was finally settled into her new position did Alex start running her fingers through the short, brown locks of the detective. Her hair was still slightly damp from her earlier shower, but Alex thought that added to the silky texture. And it was as soft and silky as Alex had always imagined it would be.

Olivia purred with pleasure when Alex lightly scratched her nails across the detective's scalp. Once that delicious sensation started up, Olivia gave up watching the television and closed her eyes, letting the feeling of Alex caressing her head become her sole focus. It wasn't ten minutes after Alex started that Olivia was fast asleep. Even though Alex knew the brunette had drifted off to sleep, she didn't stop running her fingers through the detective's hair.

When Alex started to get tired, she considered just sleeping as she was so as not to disturb Olivia, but she knew she would regret it desperately in the morning. Her injuries were not yet healed enough for her to want to risk sleeping in an odd position like this one. Alex lowered her head and whispered in Olivia's ear. "Wake up, Liv."

Olivia didn't even stir, so Alex tried again, "Come on, Liv, baby, wake up."

This time Olivia just moaned softly and pushed her head deeper into Alex's lap, but she didn't wake up. Alex smiled and gently swept Olivia's short hair back from her face, which had shifted when the brunette had moved. The blonde leaned down to place a kiss just below the detective's ear. This might be the only time she'd ever get the opportunity to be this close to Olivia, so Alex was going to take advantage of it without pressing too far.

It took a couple more tries before Alex got Olivia to roll from her side to her back and open her eyes to look up at the attorney. "Hi," Olivia said, as an adorably sleepy smile spread lazily across her face. She blinked her cloudy brown eyes, but couldn't get her eyelids to stop trying to droop closed again.

"Okay, come on, baby. Let's go to bed," Alex said as she tried to get Olivia to sit up. She had rarely ever seen the detective this tired, having difficulty keeping her eyes open and moving so lethargically.

Alex was able to get Olivia to sit up on the couch, but the detective was unable to make it to her feet by herself. The blonde reached down and took Olivia's forearms firmly in her grasp. "Come on, Liv. You need to get up now," Alex said firmly, pulling on Olivia's arms to help her up.

The attorney was able to get Olivia onto her feet and they walked down the hall towards Alex's bedroom slowly, Olivia trying not to lean too much on the still-injured blonde, aware of Alex's injuries even in her somewhat incoherent state. It was not a fast journey down the hall, but eventually Alex got Olivia into her bedroom and sat her down on the bed. Alex knelt in front of the slouched over detective, careful of her thigh wound, and took off Olivia's shoes before turning down the comforter and helping the brunette sink into bed.

Olivia curled up onto her side once she was horizontal and immediately dropped off to sleep again. Alex took care of her nightly routine before slipping into bed next to Olivia, something she admitted to herself that she hoped she'd eventually get the chance to do every night; however, first she needed the courage to tell Olivia how she really felt. Olivia's back was to her, and she fit her body into the negative space behind the detective, wrapping her arm securely around the brunette's waist. Alex justified her closeness by knowing that Liv had come over tonight for comfort, something Alex would continue to give even though Olivia was asleep; the detective could still subconsciously feel the security of Alex's presence.

Even in sleep, or maybe because of it, Olivia pressed back more firmly into the warm body behind her and let out a contented sigh. Alex placed her head so that it was close enough for her to smell the unidentifiable, but distinctly Olivia, shampoo that the detective had used earlier. She placed a final kiss to the back of Olivia's neck before tightening her grip minutely on the finally peaceful detective. Alex felt indescribably happy that Liv had come to her to calm her demons, and more than thankful that she seemed to have done just that, at least for a little while. She would be there to do it forever if only Olivia would ask.

* * *

><p>Alex was back in the office the next Monday, two weeks after her now notorious biking misadventure. She wasn't allowed back into the courtroom just yet, a direct order from her boss that she had a suspicion was influenced by a certain overprotective brunette detective. Not that she was complaining too much, Alex was well aware of the energy it took to prosecute in the courtroom and she doubted she had the stamina quite yet. She was just ecstatically happy to be out of her apartment every day.<p>

There was plenty of research to be done so at least she was being useful; more productive than she had been at home too since she had access to more books at the office. She wasn't pulling her usually sixteen hour days like she was prone to do before her hospital stay, but Alex felt she was making considerable progress towards full recovery.

Another good thing about being back to work was that Olivia dropped by to see how she was doing every day. The detective tried to time it around noon so they could grab lunch together, but it didn't always work out that way when Liv was working a case. Alex understood and Olivia would always call when she knew she wasn't going to be able to make it, even though it was not an official standing date.

Olivia's depressed mood had lifted after spending the night at Alex's last Friday. Even being called in the next morning hadn't dampened her improved mood. But, then again, Olivia wondered if anyone _could_ feel bad after spending a night wrapped in Alexandra Cabot's arms. Not that she wanted to think about anyone else ever waking up there, but she suspected Alex's touch could heal just about anything that ailed a person.

The detective's week had been steadily busy, but she still tried to put aside some time each day to check in with Alex in person. They were back to sleeping at their own respective apartments and Olivia very much missed seeing the ADA outside of work, but Alex being at work meant that she was healing. Olivia had talked with Alex's bureau chief and voiced her concerns about Alex being reinstated to all of her former duties so quickly and Donnelly had agreed and was not going to allow Alex back in the courtroom just yet.

It was 12:17 on Friday afternoon and Olivia was on her way up to Alex's office to get her for their lunch date. The case she and Elliot were currently focused on was in limbo right now and Elliot had forced her out of the precinct, saying her would call if they got any leads while she was at lunch. He'd been nagging her about taking lunch all week, ever since he'd found out she was using the time to check up on Alex. _The man thinks he's Cupid_, Olivia said to herself while shaking her head as she remembered his ridiculous antics.

Olivia stopped outside Alex's closed door and straightened her midnight blue dress shirt before knocking firmly on the door. She entered when she heard Alex's voice admit her, sounding as distracted as she always did when she was engrossed in work. Olivia's breath caught in her chest for a few seconds while she took in her first visual of Alex for the day. And she could look her fill for the moment since Alex was busy, focused on the thick law book open in front of her on her desk.

Alex was wearing a beautiful fitted blue-grey silk shirt and her black suit jacket was draped across the back of her chair. Her hair was pulled up into a messy knot, as if she'd gotten frustrated with it getting in the way, and a couple of long strands had come loose to hang about her face. Topping all of that natural beauty off was the pair of black framed glasses sitting proudly on Alex's nose. And why shouldn't they be proud, those glasses gave Alex a sexy, sophisticated look, not that she wasn't both of those things even without the spectacles.

The ADA wrote a quick note down before looking up at Olivia with a smile. "Just give me a couple more minutes and I'll be ready to go," Alex said. She motioned for Olivia to sit on the couch by the door until she was finished with what she was working on.

Olivia didn't have to wait very long for Alex to get up and stretch, her shirt pulling up to expose an inch of bare, toned flesh for just a few seconds. _What a very nice view it was_. And Olivia got her first glimpse of the black skirt Alex was wearing, professional as always, but tight enough to show off her delectable body, just like the rest of her clothing.

Alex shrugged into her jacket, careful not to move too jerkily so as not to upset her still healing ribs. They were well on their way to feeling better, but Alex was still careful not to re-aggravate them. "Let's go," she said as she headed out the door.

Olivia walked down the hall beside Alex towards the elevator. Alex was distracted by whatever Liv was saying and didn't see the intern pushing a cart laden with books and files turn the corner in front of her, coming right at her. The cart crashed into the ADA's right leg, one of the bars colliding directly with Alex's thigh wound.

Alex let out a cry of pain as she stumbled backwards from the force of the collision. Olivia was about a half-step behind the ADA, so she reached out and was able to at least prevent Alex from falling to the floor. When Alex regained her balance and pulled away from Olivia she wasn't putting much weight on her right leg, something the detective noticed immediately.

The brunette angrily told off the intern who was trying to apologize profusely and pick up the papers that had tumbled from the cart. Olivia wasn't listening and turned her attention back to the blonde, whose face was a mask of pain. "Come on, let me look at it," Olivia demanded, trying to pull Alex back towards the privacy of her office.

Alex resisted. "Let's just go to lunch. The pain is passing," she told Olivia, just wanting to get out of the office and away from the prying eyes of her co-workers.

"If you don't want to go to your office, I'll pull your skirt up and take a look at it right here," Olivia threatened.

Alex's eyes turned to slits as she assessed the detective's threat to determine how serious she was. "You wouldn't dare," the attorney said in a low voice, almost challenging Olivia to go through with it.

"You're right, I wouldn't embarrass you like that… But I would put you through the embarrassment of having me pick you up and carry you down the hall to your office," Olivia said as she leaned in closer to Alex. This was not a threat, but a promise; if Alex didn't walk back to her office of her own accord than Olivia would feel justified in taking her back there by force.

"Fine," Alex said, starting the walk back to her office. She knew Olivia would and could follow through with that course of action and it wouldn't matter how much Alex protested. And if Alex allowed it to happen then she would never hear the end of the razzing by her co-workers.

Once back in her office, Alex walked around to the other side of her desk and pulled out a spare bandage and tape that she kept in one of her desk drawers in case she needed to change the dressing. She came back around the desk and handed the two items over to Olivia before leaning back against her desk, not willing to make this unnecessary action any easier on the detective.

Olivia took the supplies and knelt on the floor in front of Alex, placing the items next to her within easy reach. She looked up at Alex for permission to move her skirt up, but Alex was refusing to look at her, showing her displeasure to being manipulated in a passive aggressive manner. Olivia did what was necessary and pushed the attorney's skirt up until it was bunched around her waist and stayed there on its own.

A couple of deep breaths were sucked into Olivia's lungs to calm her hammering heart and help control her raging hormones. There was no way for Olivia to forget that she had imagined them in this position, in this very office, many times before, but this was not the activity they were usually engaged in when she dreamed about it. Olivia just had to keep focused and make sure she could distinguish between fantasy and reality and know the accepted behavior of each.

The brunette gently pulled the used bandage off Alex's thigh and inspected the wound. It had healed a great deal since she had last seen it almost two weeks ago and even the collision with the cart hadn't started it bleeding again. Alex had been advised to keep the bandage on during the day when she was moving around because it had a higher probability of getting soiled and possibly infected, but the bandage was no longer needed to capture any blood that might escape the wound.

When she was satisfied that everything was okay, Olivia replaced the bandage with a new one and gave the unused materials back to Alex. "Okay, everything looks good," Olivia stated when she got back to her feet after fixing Alex's skirt again.

"Thank you," Alex said rather stiffly. She was grateful that Olivia cared, but she knew everything was fine. It's not that she was angry with Olivia for not taking her word about her own condition, but that it was absolute hell on her self-control to have the detective tending to her so close to a much more sensitive area. This visual was not easy to forget either, even though Alex had tried her damnedest not to look down at Olivia between her thighs. Another involuntary shiver raced down her spine as she unconsciously recalled the pleasure-inducing sight.

This accident had certainly been a major inconvenience in her life. It had tested her self-control to near its limits and only served to further remind her how desperately she wanted Olivia Benson. But even if she wasn't ready to admit those feelings out loud, Alex would always be thankful that her accident had at least acted as the catalyst to deepen her friendship with Olivia, no matter that it also deepened her desire for the detective.


	5. The Disaster Begins

**Disclaimer:** Characters do not belong to me, they most likely belong to Dick Wolf and/or NBC/Universal. I do this for free, fun entertainment and do not mean to offend anyone.

**A/N:** Yes, I finally got around to actually putting into this story the beginning of what I promised in the synopsis; I know it took a while. More importantly, for those who are die-hard fans of the show, I take liberties with Alex's past because I can't recall ever being informed of what her background was before being the ADA for SVU in the show. As always, thank you very much for the reviews and alerts, they make me happy. Please leave a review if you can.

**A/N to Ruin:** I'm sorry for the confusion, but Alex was in the biking accident and no harm came to her by other means. I was trying to convey the uncertainty of what Olivia would think when she saw the injuries, so I did keep it ambiguous for a little bit.**  
><strong>

**Chapter 5  
><strong>

Alex's recovery was relatively quick and by mid-July it was impossible to tell she'd had a pretty serious hospital stay not even three months earlier. She had gone to physical therapy to get her leg back in perfect working order and done a lot of work outside of therapy to rebuild her core muscles after being almost totally sedentary for an entire month. And once Olivia had understood that Alex was going to work out no matter what, the detective had taken to running with the ADA in the mornings.

They usually met in Central Park and jogged for varying distances depending on how each was feeling and what they had to do that day. Their joint exercise was always accomplished early in the day so they could beat out the heat and humidity of the long summer days. As Alex got stronger and grew more insistent on pressing herself, they increased the number of days they met for a run. Olivia drew the line at more than five days a week though and eventually complained enough to make Alex accept her terms.

The detective and ADA often saw each other at least six days a week between work and the free time they began to spend the majority of with each other. Olivia had taken to spending Friday nights over at Alex's penthouse apartment. She would either cook dinner, sometimes trying to teach some of the recipes to Alex when she was feeling particularly adventurous, and they would watch movies at the apartment or they would go out to dinner and a movie. They usually stayed in, often because it would by a forty minute debate over who would pay at the restaurant. Alex always arguing that she had the money to spend and Olivia was always the one to cook for her when they stayed in. Olivia always retorted that she was perfectly able to pay for a night out and they always went wherever she suggested, so she should pay.

So their friendship grew exponentially in the few months after Alex's biking accident. While they had been friends before the incident, they had never really associated outside of work unless they'd been going out for a drink with the boys after a case was closed. What their current relationship had grown into was a close friendship, something Olivia hadn't had since her college days and knew she had been desperately missing in her life.

While at work they were still businesslike and tried to keep everything professional, which wasn't too difficult considering how serious they both took their jobs. There were times when they would tease each other, but it was never at an inappropriate moment and only ever in front of other members of the squad, if in front of anyone at all. Olivia continued the tradition of taking Alex to lunch on work days but their dining plans were more flexible now that the ADA was healed. Their meals now occasionally encompassed Alex bringing the detective lunch when Olivia was too busy to go out to eat. Everyone in the unit loved when Alex came to Olivia because the ADA would bring lunch for all of them. Alex could always put at least a half an hour aside during her day for lunch because her job was more scheduled and regimented, so she had no problem with delivering lunch on occasion to the SVU.

As soon as they left work however, their relationship switched gears into a close friendship. They learned each others' small quirks and which topics were best left to lie. But they also made concessions to the others' curiosity and delved deeper into their background than they were usually comfortable with, particularly Olivia because she didn't come from the most traditional or loving family. What they both got out of their new friendship that they both desperately needed was a lightheartedness and playfulness that would often come out when they were alone together and that was very different from their usual serious demeanors.

* * *

><p>It was 7:23 in the evening on August 16, a Tuesday, and Alex was still tucked away in her office. A day that she seriously thought could not get any worse was about to destroy any self-confidence she had left and had been painfully, slowly building back up after the verdict came in this afternoon.<p>

Yesterday afternoon, she'd given her closing argument on the case of a repeat pedophile and went home at the end of the day thinking she'd nailed it, but the farther it had advanced into the day today, the more worried she'd become. And apparently she'd had reason to be worried because the verdict had come back in the mid-afternoon as not guilty. It sucked when she lost a case she knew would put a dangerous person behind bars, but it was heart-breaking when she lost a case that involved child abusers.

She had come back to her office right after the verdict was handed down and worked more diligently than ever on her next case. There was no way to make up for the lost trial and she knew she'd done everything she could, but that didn't lessen the blow and the only way she knew to repress the guilt was to work through it and put double the effort into the next case.

Olivia had stopped by around five, giving Alex her space before then as she knew the blonde would want, to see if she wanted to go grab dinner. It was an excuse, a flimsy one, but she needed to make sure her friend was doing okay. Alex had declined the offer of dinner, even knowing it was partially for Olivia's benefit. There were many things Alex was learning to open up about with Liv, but she still preferred to lick her wounds in private. As Olivia knew, it was difficult to share when one was used to internalizing everything; when one was used to relying only on oneself.

So Alex was still at her desk, long after Liv had given up trying to get her to talk about her day, for now, when her phone rang. She was expecting it to be Olivia, wanting to know if she was still in the office since it was her work line that rang and not her cell. "Cabot," Alex answered in a clipped tone, letting the caller know right away that she was still in work mode; letting Olivia know she was still not ready to talk.

"Excuse me, is this Alexandra Cabot?" a deep male voice asked after clearing his throat.

"Yes. How can I help you?" Alex thought it odd that someone was calling her at the office this late at night, but perhaps it was a witness she'd called for and hadn't yet talked to personally.

"The Alexandra Cabot who was a former Boston Homicide ADA?" the man elaborated.

That made Alex sit up straight and give every ounce of her attention to the mystery caller. "Yes. Who is this?" the attorney demanded to know.

"My name is Daniel Branton. I work for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts' Corrections Bureau," the man stated slowly before clearing his throat again; Alex got the distinct impression that he was nervous about how she would react to whatever piece of information he had to impart. "I am calling to inform you that Scott Donovan escaped custody earlier today. We are contacting all those he's explicitly threatened and you're last on my list, Ms. Cabot."

Alex froze, her body going rigid at the mention of that name; her teeth clenched painfully and every single muscle in her body tensed at the news. "When?" the attorney was able to ground out gruffly. She wanted to know the specific time so she could determine how long he'd had to travel.

"Late this morning, ma'am, at approximately 11:25." Daniel's voice had lost its nervousness and the man was back to calmly and emotionlessly relating the facts. This woman was apparently not going to break down on him and keep him on the phone for hours needing to be consoled, which was one of the reasons this call had come so late in the day. He'd been trapped on the line for almost an hour and a half with another woman who'd gone into hysterics until her husband had come home to calm her down.

Alex quickly ground out another short sentence before hanging up abruptly. "Thank you." She desperately wanted to rant and rave at the corrections agent because Donovan had escaped _eight hours_ ago and she was just getting a call now, but there was no point. Alex was aware that they would have conducted a manhunt for the bastard before calling to inform any possible future victims. They would have focused on that immediately upon discovery of his escape to decrease the probable distance he could have travelled. And if they had caught him, none of these calls would have been necessary.

"Fuck," Alex's loud explicative echoed back to her off her office walls. Not five minutes ago her office had been familiar and somewhat comforting, a place where she proudly did the will of the people. Now she couldn't see it for anything but an empty, dark, unsecure room and she wished desperately that she hadn't been sulking and had taken Olivia up on her offer of dinner. The attorney had not wanted to avoid the call but wished to have security just a few feet away when the call would have inevitably come in.

Alex quickly gathered her things together and locked up her office as she walked out. She hated that the possibility of a threat had her running scared, but she felt a driving need to get home now. Her building offered security and her apartment had bright lights that could chase away every shadow until she was calm enough to get back her usual confidence.

The attorney only felt slightly more secure when she got to her building. She greeted the night security guard, Pete, trying to act nonchalant when she asked if anything odd had happened tonight. The guard answered that everything had gone normally, no unexpected visitors or anything out of the ordinary, and Alex smiled tightly before walking to the elevator. _Everything is fine_, she kept telling herself even as she rode up to her floor.

Alex tried the door first without using her key to make sure it was in the same condition as when she'd left this morning. Once she reaffirmed that it was still locked, Alex took out her keys and let herself in, reaching into the darkened entryway to flip the light switch before pushing the door totally open and looking inside. Paranoia did not sit well with the attorney, but she also had no desire to be careless since she knew Donovan _would_ come after her, probably sooner rather than later.

There was no ghost from her past waiting in the entryway to pounce upon her and punish her for misconstrued wrongs. She ventured deeper into her apartment after triple locking the door and double checking to make sure they were all engaged properly. Alex flipped every light switch before entering a room, even going so far as to enter the rooms she had no intention of using tonight, such as the guest bedroom. She thoroughly searched the closets in both bedrooms and even pulled back the shower curtain in both of her bathrooms to make sure no one was hiding there.

When she was finally satisfied that her apartment had not been breached, she made certain that all the windows were locked and kept every light on. He would not miraculously appear out of the darkness, but fear did not lend itself to rational thought. She sat on the edge of the couch after throwing her purse down and shrugging off her now suffocating jacket, going through her normal nightly routine in her mind. Usually she would eat, but she'd been so distracted on the way home that she hadn't stopped to pick anything up for dinner, but she didn't think she could eat anyway so she decided not to order in. Then she would take a shower, something Alex wanted to do but knew she would just freak herself out because it was an enclosed space with only one exit and the running water would limit her hearing.

Alex pushed herself up off the couch and walked into her kitchen, going directly for the bottle of rum on top of the kitchen cabinets. She was not a big liquor drinker, but it occasionally served a purpose when she wanted to unwind a little or get absolutely smashed after a particularly hard case, not that it happened often. Right now all she needed was a drink or two to calm her nerves and let her think about things rationally; let her get over her fear before it paralyzed her.

Unfortunately, Alex misjudged how much those couple of drinks would affect her on an empty stomach. And when she started feeling looser, Alex didn't stop at just two drinks so she was soon rather intoxicated; not falling down drunk, but she certainly couldn't walk a straight line if asked. As Alex had put her college days behind her, she had become a boring drunk who usually just wanted to be left to her own company until she went to sleep, which was why she now did most of her drinking alone. This night however, Alex had a distinct urge, one she would have squashed had she been completely sober.

Alex grabbed her purse and keys from where she'd tossed them on the coffee table in the living room, an uncharacteristic action but she'd been a little out of sorts when she'd left them there. The attorney walked to her front door and had to really focus on the task of disengaging the locks before walking down the hall to the elevator again, swaying only slightly. She could feel her eyes wander, but forced them to focus for the few seconds it took her to push the call button in an almost brutish manner, using an unnecessary amount of force because it was difficult to control her fine motor functions.

In the lobby, Alex asked the security guard to call her a cab. Noticing her slurred speech, Pete instead called a car service that he knew Ms. Cabot often used. Alex was very well-liked by the building personnel and Pete wouldn't trust a cabbie right now with the ADA because they could manipulate their fare log to take advantage of the inebriated blonde.

"It'll be just one moment, Ms. Cabot," Pete said as he rounded his desk with his chair in tow. He put the chair down right next to Alex saying, "Would you like to sit down for a moment? You look like you could use a rest."

Alex took a seat on the rather uncomfortable looking chair, but she wanted to get off her unsteady feet. "Thank you."

"Where are you going tonight, Ms. Cabot?" Pete asked. It was already 9:47 on a weeknight and he knew that she was usually out the door for her run by five in the morning. He rarely saw her leave the building anytime during his shift, except for her morning run, so this was very unusual.

"Liv's," Alex replied with an almost goofy grin plastered across her face as she thought about the detective.

Pete thought that Alex was acting very out of character, especially with that smile. She was a very nice tenant, always polite without being snooty and willing to chat if asked, but she wasn't usually so open; Alex had a reputation for being a little closed off when it came to her private life, but she was often ready to listen with a genuine smile and interest.

"You mean Detective Benson?" Pete asked. The woman had been over to see Alex a lot in the past four or five months, at least once a week but usually more. "What's the address, Ms. Cabot?" Pete was worried that Alex wouldn't be able to articulate that information to the driver, so he wanted to get it out of her now. He was actually glad that the blonde was going to see her friend, as it seemed she really needed someone to lean on right now.

No matter how inebriated Alex was, she would always recall Olivia's address. As a matter of fact, Alex remembered every gorgeous detail of the tan-skinned detective, perhaps a bit too well and certainly with more possessiveness than she had a right to feel. She quickly rattled off the address rather absently while allowing herself to be consumed further into her Olivia-saturated thoughts. They were the only thoughts that were guaranteed to keep her own ever increasingly tangible ghosts at bay.

Pete repeated the address silently to himself a couple of times to be certain that he would remember it and waited for the car to show up. When it did arrive, he helped Alex up from the chair and kept a hand on her arm as he escorted her outside. Pete got Alex safely into the back of the black sedan and closed the door. He lowered his head to be level with the open passenger side window and gave the driver the destination. "Stay until she enters the building. If no one answers, put her back into the car and drive back here," the security guard instructed.

Once the driver understood his orders, he pulled smoothly out into traffic and towards Olivia's apartment building. The blonde in the back seat was wearing a deep cranberry-colored button-up shirt tucked into fitted black trousers held fast by a simple black belt; she had left her jacket in her apartment since it was too damn hot and she didn't need to look overly professional to see Liv. Her slightly disheveled look was the only thing that distracted from her extremely well put together ensemble.

When they reached their destination, the driver pulled over and got out to open Alex's door. The blonde already had her door open, but was having a little more difficulty getting to her feet. She accepted the driver's assistance in getting up out of the car and made her way over to the call box by the building door. The driver stayed standing next to the car, watching to make sure his client was going to be let in, just as he'd been instructed.

The building entrance was well-lit and Alex had little difficulty finding Olivia's name and calling up. It took almost a full minute for Olivia to answer, but she eventually did. "Yes?"

"Let me up, Liv," Alex said, sounding almost excited over the intercom. She was overjoyed to finally be so close to where she belonged and if Olivia would just let her in, then she would be seconds away from her own personal nirvana.

"Alex?" the detective questioned, not really believing what her ears were telling her. While she had been known to go see the attorney at her apartment during the week, Alex had never just stopped by without warning. The attorney believed in properly announcing her arrival in case Olivia had other plans, or did not feel like having company.

"Yes, it's Alex. Please, let me in, Liv." Alex was almost begging now. She could taste her salvation and security just a few hundred feet on the other side of that locked door right in front of her and she needed it so badly.

Alex heard the buzzing that indicated an unlocked front door and jumped uncoordinatedly at the handle in her eagerness to get to her friend; another locked door between her and her demons didn't hurt either. She trudged up the required four flights of stairs until she reached Olivia's floor, being certain to hang onto the safety railing so she didn't fall on her way up. A huge smile spread across the attorney's face when she saw that Olivia was standing in her doorway waiting for Alex.

Olivia reached out to steady the teetering attorney when she was within arms' reach. "What's wrong, Alex?" she asked with an incredible depth of concern shining through her eyes.

Alex let herself fall into the strong detective and wrapped her arms tightly around Olivia's waist while burrowing her face into the older woman's neck. _Right where I belong_, Alex thought with a sigh as she let her day and all her fears evaporate into Olivia's warm strength.

Olivia's arms came up of their own accord and wrapped securely around Alex. She gently rocked the blonde, accepting that Alex needed physical contact right now, a reaffirmation that someone cared about her. Olivia wondered if this was stemming from the case Alex had lost today, but didn't believe that could be all that was behind this behavior because she had offered comfort earlier. But maybe Alex just hadn't been ready for solace then.

After a few minutes, Alex's grip loosened slightly and Olivia took that as a cue to usher the attorney inside her apartment and away from the public domain they were currently occupying. She still kept a firm hold on Alex, knowing the blonde wasn't ready to sever their connection just yet, and led her to the living room.

Alex pulled back just far enough to be able to look into Olivia's brown orbs. "Thank you," she breathed, wanting to express so much with that insufficient phrase. She gently pressed her lips against Olivia's, ignoring her usually overpowering voice of fear; the one that always warned that she would be rejected by the beautiful detective if she ever let her true feelings be known.

Olivia was completely stunned by Alex's action and didn't know what to do. What she desperately wanted to do was return the kiss, deepen it and let years of pent up desire loose upon the blonde who'd been consuming her thoughts for that long. The more responsible side of her, the side that she knew she _should_ listen to, told her to pull back and let the emotional ADA really think about what she was doing. Alex was emotionally distressed right now and it would be wrong to take advantage of that.

The decision was taken away from Olivia when she felt Alex's tongue press against the seam of her lips. Olivia was maybe strong enough to pull away from a chaste kiss, but definitely not this sweet, insistent kiss. She groaned in surrender, a submission she was very willing to make, and allowed Alex entrance into her mouth. The blonde took full advantage and gently stroked her tongue over the sweet velvet of Olivia's.

And that was when Olivia tasted it, the unmistakable hint of alcohol, strong and slightly sweet. Too strong for it to have been an insignificant amount of alcohol that Alex had consumed. Another groan was pulled from deep within Olivia's chest, this one of pain and injustice, as she ripped her mouth from Alex's.

Alex let out a whimper of protest and tried to recapture Olivia's lips, but the detective thwarted her efforts. She looked at Alex, both of them breathing hard, from lack of oxygen and racing hearts, and so many things fell into place. The way Alex almost staggered down the hall towards her earlier and the slurred speech she'd heard over the intercom before that, Olivia had attributed all that to emotional exhaustion, but it had been alcohol that was making Alex act like that.

"Have you been drinking, Alex?" Olivia knew the answer but she had to ask, wishing desperately that Alex would answer in the negative and they could talk about what had just happened.

"Yes," came Alex's soft reply. And the sound of that one little word crushed Olivia's hope and forced her to get her hormones under control quickly. Never, _ever_, would she take advantage of anyone in this condition. It was too similar to the circumstances of her birth for her to ever allow it, no matter how much Alex was acting like she wanted this.

"But just a little," Alex amended when she saw the sudden coldness flash through Olivia's eyes. She knew that Olivia's mother had been an alcoholic and did not want to be associated with the disgrace she knew Olivia felt towards the disease.

The detective pulled the blonde into another hug and placed a chaste kiss to her temple. "We still can't, Lex." Olivia was not used to turning down anyone so nicely, but she and Alex were friends and tomorrow she would still like to have her friendship. And she loved Alex, so she did not want to alienate her.

Alex pulled back and Olivia recognized that determined, steely look in the attorney's eyes that she always got when she was gearing up for an argument, a look she shouldn't be able to give while under the influence. The look almost immediately softened into one that Olivia could only describe as evil playfulness and a mischievous smile quirked onto her lips. And Olivia knew what the sudden change was for when she felt Alex's hands slide around to her ass and pull their pelvises together. Then Alex started to grind her hips into the weakening detective's.

"You know you want to," Alex said in the sexiest, huskiest voice Olivia had ever heard and she couldn't contain the moan that escaped her lips or prevent her eyes from snapping shut to focus only on feeling everything Alex was doing to her. Alex took full advantage of the detective's distracted state to recapture her lips in a heated kiss. She continued to roll her hips into Olivia's and thrust her tongue more forcefully into the brunette's willing mouth, loving every second of the feeling of power that flowed through her because of the pleasure she was giving her long-time fantasy lover.

Olivia again pulled away, this time capturing Alex's hands with one of her own and using the other hand to stop the rocking motion of the blonde's hips. "Stop, Alex." The attorney tried to make a verbal protest but Olivia pressed her lips hard against Alex's in a short kiss to stop it.

"Listen, Alex. If you remember this tomorrow and you want to revisit it when you're one hundred percent sober, we can. I promise," the brunette stated adamantly. And she prayed to God, and all the gods and goddess there ever were, that Alex _would_ remember and want to try this again. Olivia was still trembling from the overload of desire that flooded through her system and now had to be repressed.

"No, now," Alex demanded, trying to free her hands.

Olivia tightened her grip, afraid of her control shattering if Alex touched her again. "Behave, or I will handcuff you," the detective threatened.

"Is that a promise," Alex purred, dipping her head to try to steal another kiss.

"Fuck. Stop it, Lex. You're going to kill me," Olivia pleaded as she avoided Alex's eager lips. She would beg forever if it got Alex to stop trying to seduce her right now. Olivia wanted her honor intact and needed Alex to be completely clear-minded if they ever slept together.

The pleading made it through Alex's desire and alcohol hazed brain and she finally understood the pain she now saw flickering in her detective's eyes. Olivia really did _want_ to take this to its conclusion, but her code of honor wouldn't allow it. So Alex stopped struggling against Olivia's restraining hands. "I'm sorry, Liv. Just take me to bed, I promise to keep my hands to myself," Alex said softly, willing to rein in her desire so she wouldn't make her friend uncomfortable.

Olivia looked deep into Alex's eyes, trying to gauge how sincere the blonde was. When she decided to trust Alex's words, Olivia slowly released the pressure she was using to restrain the blonde. The attorney did not attack her when she was free, so Olivia turned off the lights in the living room and led Alex to her bedroom. They had no other option but to share a bed in her apartment since she only had one bedroom.

The brunette helped Alex get ready for bed as she was still quite uncoordinated at the moment. Alex asked for more comfortable clothes to wear to sleep, so Olivia let her borrow a pair of shorts and one of her t-shirts. Olivia settled Alex in her bed before getting ready herself. When she slipped beneath the covers, Olivia made sure to keep some distance between them, not wanting to give Alex the idea that she'd changed her mind about their increased intimacy.

"I said I'd keep my hands to myself, but you don't have to. Please, Liv. I really did have a terrible day," Alex said sleepily. She had come over to Olivia's for the strength her friend provided and she still needed that; she still _wanted_ that.

Olivia slid across the bed slowly, inching closer and closer to Alex, whose back was to her. The detective wrapped an arm around Alex's waist loosely, testing herself to see if she could control her awakened libido for the rest of the night. She still wanted Alex, that would never stop, but it was manageable and she trusted herself not to attack the blonde like an animal. "You try anything and it's over. I'll sleep on the couch for the rest of the night," Olivia warned, not entirely sure she'd be able to follow through with leaving if Alex changed her mind about playing nice.

"Mmm," was Alex's only response as she was already more than halfway off to sleep.

Olivia placed a chaste kiss to the side of Alex's head before laying her own on the pillow next to the blonde's and following her friend off into blissfully unconscious sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I was/am extremely tired when I edited this chapter, so sorry if it's not up to the same quality as the other chapters.


	6. Best Laid Plans

**Disclaimer:** Characters do not belong to me, they most likely belong to Dick Wolf and/or NBC/Universal. I do this for free, fun entertainment and do not mean to offend anyone.

**A/N:** I am very sorry for the longer than usual wait for this update. This chapter just took a lot longer than I though it would to put together. Thank you all very much for the reviews on the last chapter. I hope you enjoy this next installment as well. Enjoy!**  
><strong>

**Chapter 6  
><strong>

Olivia was pulled from a deep, peaceful sleep by her cell phone ringing. She immediately turned away from Alex to silence the phone so it wouldn't awaken the blonde attorney. "Benson," she said quietly but authoritatively into her cell.

It was work; Olivia was being called out to a scene. She wrote the address down on a pad of paper she kept on her nightstand for just such an occasion. It happened often enough that she got called to a scene in the middle of the night that Olivia got tired of scrounging around for a pen and paper in the dark, often running into some unforgivably hard object that pulled a loud explicative from her, so she had adapted to keep the items close at hand.

While Olivia had been on the phone, Alex had rolled over, following her friend's heat and familiar, calming scent across the bed. By the time Olivia's short conversation was over, Alex had snuggled up behind the detective and become motionless again. _That didn't take long_, Olivia thought when she felt the blonde's deep breaths begin to softly hit the back of her neck, sending shivers of awareness straight down her spine, and to other parts below her waist.

Carefully, Olivia turned back over, still not wanting to wake up her friend. She really should have just climbed out of bed and hurried off to the crime scene, but she wanted another look at Alex. Even in the dim light of her darkened bedroom Alex was the most beautiful creature she'd ever seen and Olivia felt her heart beat faster. She brushed a lock of hair out of the blonde's face, smiling when Alex pushed deeper into her light touch.

With one last caress to Alex's cheek, the detective slipped out of bed before the blonde's innocent reaction convinced her to stay. Olivia quickly dressed in blue jeans and a dark green v-neck t-shirt before slipping into her leather jacket. She penned a quick note to Alex, telling her that she'd been called into work and asking her to lock the door on her way out in the morning.

Olivia walked back into the bedroom to leave the note by the bed, but she also couldn't resist the urge to see Alex once more before she left. The detective crouched down by the bed and gave Alex a lingering kiss goodbye to her temple. She felt a little less guilty doing that since last night because she knew that Alex wouldn't have been so intimate if she didn't feel something deeper towards Olivia, and the detective knew from her close friendship with the blonde that even just kissing wasn't something Alex could do without emotion attached to the action. The brunette just hoped Alex could accept it and act on those feelings without liquid courage next time.

* * *

><p>Alex awoke in bed with an unpleasant headache. <em>What the hell did I do last night?<em> Alex asked herself as she tried to will the pounding in her brain away. She sucked in a couple of deep breaths, thinking that more oxygen to her brain couldn't hurt, and recognized that she was surrounded by Olivia's scent. Alex's eyes flew open and she took in her environment, immediately noting that she was in Olivia's bedroom; in Olivia's bed. Her clothes were on though, she realized with a mixture of relief and disappointment.

_What the hell did I do last night?_ The thought again flew through Alex's otherwise sluggish mind. She sat up slowly, noting that Olivia wasn't asleep next to her, and tried to force her mind to remember last night. It was all still hazy, so Alex decided to take a shower to clear her mind.

She crawled out of bed and took a short walk, mixed with just a little bit of stumbling, around the apartment, looking for Olivia. The brunette was definitely not in the apartment, so Alex went back into the bedroom to get her phone to call her friend. It was then that Alex noticed the note on the nightstand, right next to her phone where she couldn't miss it, which stated that Olivia had been called out to a scene at four in the morning and she'd hopefully see the attorney at lunch.

Alex considered just getting her stuff together and going home, but she really wanted a shower first. Olivia wouldn't mind, it just felt odd to be in Liv's apartment without the beautiful detective here as well. Alex quickly decided to go with her first thought and take a shower here before grabbing a cab home. At least she hoped she'd taken a cab here because she sure as hell shouldn't have driven last night, if her massive headache was any indication of how much she'd had to drink.

As Alex was taking off her clothes in the bathroom, she noticed they weren't hers. They were super comfortable though. She recognized them as Olivia's and knew the detective must have let her borrow some comfortable sleep attire. They looked good on her, but then she had the feeling she'd think everything of Olivia's looked good on her; borrowing clothes was not something Alex did with anyone else and she found it rather personal and intimate. The pair of shorts must have been too big because Alex had the waistband rolled down, but they still rode low on her hips; Alex had slimmer hips than the curvier brunette. Her borrowed shirt fit pretty well because while she had a slightly longer torso, Olivia had broader shoulders.

Alex had forgotten to find her clothes before her shower, so she wrapped the towel around her body and started the search in Olivia's bedroom. They were folded neatly on Olivia's dresser and Alex guessed by the way they were folded that the detective had done it, knowing that Alex could be a little OCD sometimes. Alex changed back into her own clothes, thinking as she did so that this was probably going to be the only time she would ever be naked in Olivia's bedroom and, sadly, the beautiful detective wasn't even here to see it.

Once back in her own apartment, Alex changed into a fresh set of clothes. She wasn't feeling up to going out for a run this morning and Olivia wouldn't be available to go with her anyway so she just decided to skip it; if she was honest, Alex knew that she went for her morning runs as much to spend more time with Olivia as to get the exercise she so desperately craved since she had a relatively sedentary job.

The shower had made her feel better, but still not great, and she knew why when she came home and saw the nearly empty bottle of rum on the kitchen table. It was still open and there was an empty glass sitting next to it with just a thin film of liquid coating the bottom. If she'd been sober when she'd left her apartment, Alex would have put the bottle away and rinsed her glass, but obviously she'd been in a rush to see her detective.

Alex needed to remember what happened last night. She did not often drink to excess, but when she did it was usually for a good reason, if there even was a good reason for getting drunk. What made her really want to remember this particular time was that she _never_ drank that much on a weeknight when she knew she'd be going to work in the morning. She was nothing if not responsible and would never disrespect her job by not being able to be one hundred percent focused on it.

The attorney fixed herself some breakfast, which she'd gotten better and more consistent at doing since Olivia always made breakfast for them on Saturday mornings, unless she'd been called into work the night before, and often nagged at Alex to eat something on the mornings when they ran together. Alex had watched Olivia cook for the past few months and was not able to make simple meals without any disasters occurring. She needed the food in her stomach this morning since she was still feeling queasy and maybe she'd be able to focus better on remembering if she wasn't distracted by the nausea.

Alex sat down at the table with her plate of eggs and toast and a glass of orange juice. She was almost finished with her breakfast when it hit her, the call she'd gotten at the office that had her running home, and then into Olivia's comforting arms. Scott Donovan. The memory had Alex putting down her fork and pushing her plate away; she had no more appetite and was feeling more nauseas than she had before.

It took Alex almost an hour to figure out what she was going to do about her Scott Donovan situation. She refused to spend any more time on being too scared to live her life as she normally did. Donovan would come after her and she was going to be ready for him when he did.

Alex changed again into an all black power suit; black skirt, black button-up shirt, and fine black suit jacket. She grabbed her car keys and headed out the door. Today was not a day when she wanted to deal with the hassle of a cab and she needed that alone time she'd get in her own car on the drive to the SVU precinct.

Once she arrived at the station, Alex picked her briefcase up off the passenger seat and strode with purpose towards the building and up to the floor that housed the special victims unit. Alex wanted to get her plan set in motion as soon as possible since she didn't believe it would take Donovan all that long to come after her for his revenge. She would be happy if her fears proved wrong, but Donovan had promised to get his retribution and he didn't make idle threats.

Alex made her way into the squad room, almost running into Olivia just inside the doors. The detective was on her way out with Elliot to talk to the neighbors of the victim they'd been helping this morning. Olivia and Elliot had just stopped by the precinct to update Cragen on where they were with the case and go over what their next actions should be.

"Hey, Alex. You feeling better this morning?" Olivia stopped to ask. She was sorry that she'd had to run out earlier for work because she was actually kind of desperate to talk with Alex about last night's events. Olivia was not used to feeling any sense of desperation in her private life, particularly an intense desire to talk about personal matters with someone else. The detective knew that last night she'd implied that wherever they took their relationship would go at Alex's pace, but Olivia was hoping to persuade her to not go too slowly; Olivia had wanted this for too long and finally thought she actually might have a chance to get what she'd desired since meeting the blonde ADA.

"Yes, thank you," Alex answered distractedly, giving the detective a tight, fleeting smile. "Is Captain Cragen in his office?" she then inquired, finally making eye contact with Olivia, even if only briefly.

"Yeah," the female detective said, much of the emotion she previously had animating her voice now no longer there. Olivia watched as Alex nodded absently and walked off towards the captain's office with a stiffer posture than usual. If Alex had bothered to really look at Olivia, as she usually did when interacting with the brunette, she would have noticed the pain that flashed through her eyes for a few quick seconds before the brown orbs were once again shuttered and empty of all emotion.

While Alex may have missed Olivia's pain, Elliot did not. He waited for the ADA to walk away and watched as Olivia just stood there, staring after the retreating attorney. When Olivia turned her back on Alex and continued out of the squad room, Elliot followed behind. "What was that about?" Elliot asked gently as they waited for the elevator.

"What?" Olivia asked. She had been distracted, wondering what Alex's distant attitude had been about, and had forgotten that Elliot was even there. No one could distract her like their blonde ADA could, and Olivia was starting to resent that fact.

_Is Alex ashamed of what we almost did last night?_ She should have stopped Alex the night before, should have known the attorney would regret her inebriated actions in the morning. And she certainly should have known better than to offer to do it again when Alex was sober. Olivia had been caught up in the moment and now she was afraid she may have ruined their friendship.

"With Alex, what was that?" Elliot repeated slowly, knowing that Olivia was trapped in her own thoughts. He may have been a little nosy, but he mostly wanted to know what was going on so that he could help her fix the situation; he knew something was wrong. Olivia was family and she was hurting, so he wanted to make it better.

"Nothing."

"It wasn't nothing, Liv. I thought you guys were doing well. You know, slowly taking your friendship to another level."

Olivia turned to fully face Elliot, making sure he understood completely what she was about to say. "It may be something, but I'm not talking about it right now." Olivia needed time to think about this and lick her wounds without anyone else trying to give her advice on what to do, at least for now. She might be desperate enough later to invite Elliot into giving her some advice, but for now she would work it out herself.

Elliot held up his hands in the universal sign that he was backing off, hands facing outwards to show that he wasn't touching anything, particularly her love life. Olivia had a stubborn streak in her that Elliot often got frustrated with, but he also respected that part of her because she stuck to what she believed without being closed-minded. Elliot hoped that whatever was going on between the two women got dissolved quickly because he really did think that they were good for each other.

* * *

><p>Back in the squad room, Alex knocked firmly on Captain Cragen's open door. He lifted his head from the paperwork he was looking over and waved her inside. She walked in and closed the door behind her, an unusual occurrence when someone wasn't getting yelled at for something.<p>

"What can I do for you, Alex?" Cragen asked, searching his mind for what their ADA could want. She'd finished a trial yesterday and there were no others that he could think of that she'd need to talk to him about. Alex usually communicated directly with his detectives unless she was having difficulties getting them to do what she wanted them to. Her personal interaction with the squad was something the captain really liked about her, except for those few occasions when she talked his detectives into doing something he would never approve.

"I need a favor," Alex began, grabbing the squad leader's attention immediately. "Are Munch and Fin available for a protective detail?"

"For how long?"

"A week," Alex said without hesitation. She figured that would be enough time to either catch the bastard or set up more permanent security, which she could do but was not looking forward to. Alex did not want to start having to live her life under a microscope with security always around her, which was one of the reasons she hadn't yet told her mother about Donovan's escape. The woman would hire so much private security Alex wouldn't be able to do anything without someone always with her, including her job even though it mostly took place in secure state buildings.

"I can probably swing a week, especially if I switch them off with Benson and Stabler," Cragen said thoughtfully, not yet asking the particulars of the assignment Alex was asking for. Alex occasionally bent the rules, but the captain trusted her to be doing whatever she did for the right reasons.

"No," Alex stated adamantly. "I don't want Olivia involved in this."

Cragen looked at Alex, a little surprised at the objection. "Who's the protective detail for?" the captain asked, now a little suspicious of what this was all about. Alex held Olivia in high standing and he couldn't think of any reason why she wouldn't want the female detective helping out.

Alex took a deep breath before answering. "Me."

"I'm going to need an explanation, Alex," Cragen said, sitting back in his seat and focusing all of his attention on Alex. There was no way he could authorize a protective detail on one of their own without a good reason. It would be even more difficult if Alex really wanted it kept quiet like she'd already hinted at. Keeping this off Olivia's radar would be very difficult to do, if only because she was a great detective and knew when something was off.

Alex had been prepared for this, knowing that this would be a huge favor if Cragen could come through for her. "I was an ADA in Boston working for a homicide unit before coming to the SVU here. One of the last cases I prosecuted involved a murderer and rapist named Scott Donovan. I was informed last night that he escaped custody yesterday morning."

"And you think he'll come after you?" Cragen asked. He had never know Alex to be paranoid, but he couldn't just assign a discreet detail for a feeling when he had cases that needed to be worked. As much as he liked Alex, there were other things his people could be doing if this was just going to be a waste of time.

"I'm sure of it," Alex said with absolutely no doubt in her voice. Her voice was steady, with a hint of anger and no discernable fear even though she felt that emotion quite clearly throughout her being.

"Okay. You have a specific plan of action?" It sounded to him as if Alex had thought this through and knew exactly how she wanted things to progress. And her conviction that this murderer would come after her put his doubts to rest that the squad would just be wasting man hours. Alex was a part of their family and he would give her the week she'd requested.

"Yes. I figure I'll only need the detail while at home. I doubt Donovan will try anything in public or while I'm working; the offices and courthouse have security." The threats that the criminal had made would take time and privacy to fulfill and Alex was sure he wouldn't kill her before following through with those threats. A tremor of disgust and fear made its way through her body as she remembered those threats in explicit detail. "I'm calling in another favor and having my apartment surveillance upgraded, but I want to catch him not make myself completely inaccessible."

"So, you're using yourself as bait. That's not a good idea, Alex." He and the ADA sometimes had their disagreements, but he still didn't want her taking any unnecessary risks. And setting herself up to be available to this guy didn't sound safe.

Alex steeled her gaze, staring directly into the captain's concerned eyes. "I'm doing this no matter what. Donovan needs to be put back in prison, and to do that he needs to be caught. I don't know where he is right now, but I do know he will eventually be wherever I am."

Cragen could see the determination in her eyes, and a hint of the underlying fear, which just make him respect her even more. She wasn't comfortable doing this, but in her mind it was the right thing to do so she was going to do it. "Just a week?" he asked to make sure, hoping that she was wrong and Scott Donovan would just try to flee, go somewhere to live an undetectable life.

"Yes. The bastard never was particularly patient, so I doubt it will take him long to find me. I don't want to take part of the squad for too long, so if nothing happens by mid-week next week, I'll just hire a private security company and you can have Munch and Fin back." Alex didn't want to hinder the unit in any way, but she would feel more comfortable if someone she knew was watching over her instead of a stranger, which is what would happen if she had to hire a private security firm.

"Okay, you've got Munch and Fin for a week."

"Thank you. And please, I don't want Olivia or Stabler told about this," Alex said.

"Why?" Cragen couldn't help but ask. This was the second time the ADA had specifically asked for Olivia to not be involved or informed of Alex's plan to hopefully capture the escaped criminal.

"Donovan has a hard-on for women in the justice system and her connection to me, working with me, associating with me outside of work, would just make her more appealing to him, so I can't have her around me until he's caught. And Elliot is too close to Liv to keep it from her and she'll know something's off." What she said was true, but it wasn't the whole reason as to why she didn't want Liv involved. It would destroy her if Olivia got hurt because of her and Donovan enjoyed using innocent bystanders as leverage to inflict more pain on his victims.

"Fine, Benson and Stabler won't be involved. And I'll tell Munch and Fin to keep it to themselves."

"Thank you. I'll be in touch when the new installations are made in my apartment." With that Alex walked out of the captain's office and went to her own, wanting to get on with her day since she still had a bunch of other issues she needed to deal with today. She wasn't completely comfortable with using herself as bait, even though it was her idea, but she needed to put Donovan back behind bars before he destroyed any more lives.

Alex's day was progressing well and she was getting a lot of work done. The few interruptions she suffered were caused by her own mind, which she was having a difficult time controlling today, no matter that there were other more important issues she should be thinking about. Alex was very good at disciplining her thoughts, but today they kept slipping into Olivia-centered fantasies. That was not an unusual occurrence, but they often only overtook her at work when she'd just seen the detective in the flesh, and what nice flesh it always was to see.

Today's fantasies were even pretty tame, at least compared to many of the x-rated dreams she usually had about Olivia; her mind didn't often hold back on what she wanted to do to Olivia when she fantasized about the detective. In her current fantasy there was no sex, no removal of clothing, but it was more than enough to distract her from her work. It was the same scene just replaying over and over again, never progressing past some seriously intense kissing and a little light caressing. If she was going to be distracted by a fantasy she almost wished it was more explicit, but the sweetness of her current daydream warmed her heart along with other, more intimate regions of her body.

When noon rolled about and Alex was still being distracted by her impure thoughts, the ADA decided to just take lunch instead of sitting at her desk pretending to continue working. She was just locking up her office when Olivia came up behind her. A genuinely happy smile appeared on Alex's lips at the sight of her friend, along with a fresh flood of awareness that was made all the more intense by having been thinking of the beautiful detective all day.

"Hey, Lex," Olivia said, encouraged by the smile Alex gave her. Maybe they could talk about what happened last night and why Alex was so upset while at lunch. "You ready to eat?" the detective asked with a smile of her own.

Alex's smile had grown wider at Olivia's new nickname for her, but fell again when she realized she had to decline the offer of lunch. She couldn't believe she'd forgotten their standing lunch date. "I've actually got an errand I need to run, so I can't go out for lunch today. How about I pick something up on my way back and bring it to you at the precinct?" Alex offered instead, hoping Olivia wasn't going to be angry with her for cancelling so late.

Olivia was definitely disappointed; getting two brush-offs in one day was not promising. Either Alex was purposely trying to avoid being alone with her or she didn't remember what she'd done last night. What _they'd_ done, Olivia corrected, knowing that she'd been a willing, even enthusiastic, participant of what Alex had started. "Okay. I'll see you later then." Olivia could think of nothing else to say since she couldn't think of a way to protest without it sounding like whining.

Alex knew she'd done something wrong when Olivia took the stairs down to ground level instead of waiting for the elevator with her. She would have to make it up to the brunette later when she wasn't worried about Scott Donovan anymore. Alex had already decided to stop anything other than work-related contact with Olivia until Donovan was caught, just in case he was watching her and decided to fixate on the detective too.

The city traffic was difficult to get through at any time, but there was extra congestion around lunchtime and it took Alex longer than she'd have liked to get home. She had fielded a call earlier from Sal asking if she'd authorized some work on her apartment because a crew was there to install something. He didn't know what was being installed and Alex had no plans to inform him of what was going on because he wasn't in any danger from Donovan and she didn't want him to worry.

By the time she got home, the new invasive microphones had been installed all over her apartment. She didn't want to make her apartment more difficult to get in to; she just needed to know when someone whom she hadn't invited was there. Alex had decided to bug her home for sound so she would be able to give the receiver to Munch and Fin when they were stationed outside her apartment, keeping watch over her. She had considered getting video surveillance installed, but that would've been too invasive for her. Alex wanted every room bugged, including her bedroom, so she decided against video and hoped that sound would be good enough.

Only one workman was left in her apartment and he handed over the receiver and showed her how it all worked. Like any professional who wanted to continue getting business, he didn't ask why she wanted her own apartment bugged, just did it and took her money; a little cold perhaps, but that's how this business transaction needed to be handled. It also helped that he was an acquaintance of her family and knew that they occasionally had strange requests; he usually chalked it up to wealthy eccentricities.

Alex played around with the receiver for a few minutes just to be sure she could explain how to operate it if Munch or Fin had any questions. Then she headed over to the precinct, stopping at Olivia's favorite deli on the way to pick up subs for her and the rest of the tight-knit squad. She dropped off the proper sandwiches at Olivia and Elliot's desks before going into the captain's office to update him on everything she'd put together and give him the receiver to pass along to her detail. By the time she was done talking to Cragen, Alex only had a quick minute to say goodbye to Olivia before heading back to her office to pick up a couple of files before going to court.

Even while in court, Alex was plagued by that reoccurring Olivia fantasy and the attorney was relieved when they finished for the day without her completely embarrassing herself. It wasn't until she was at home and had just slipped under her sheets for the night that it hit her with breathtaking force. That insistent fantasy she kept having all day was not a dream but a memory, and with that fact revealed her memory became clearer and she remembered e_verything_ that had happened at Olivia's apartment last night.

On the heels of the embarrassment Alex felt for throwing herself at her dear friend was a flame of hope and excitement when she remembered that Olivia had not been put off by her actions. In fact, Olivia had said they could revisit such intimacy when Alex was sober. Alex had to physically resist the urge to get up and drive over to Olivia's apartment immediately to offer herself to the brunette for a second night in a row.

There were two major reasons for Alex's resistance to that primal, sexual urge that far surpassed anything she'd ever felt for another person. Her main concern was still Scott Donovan. She had already insisted that Olivia be kept as far away from this situation as possible, and Alex wouldn't jeopardize the detective's safety by trying to start a relationship with her in the middle of this potential disaster.

Alex's other reason for resisting was just her continued insecurities rearing their ugly heads. She wondered if Olivia had just said that they could revisit it later to placate her drunken friend and stop Alex's advances. The greatest obstacle for Alex concerning a deeper relationship with Olivia had always been the self-doubt that such a strong, passionate woman would want someone as cold and unyielding as Alex often was.

After last night, which Alex now remembered in glaring, wonderful, embarrassing detail, the ADA finally decided to push her fears aside and go after what she really wanted. She would wait until the imminent danger had passed, but once Scott Donovan was caught she would lay her feelings on the line where Olivia was concerned. It would be better to be flat out rejected than to continue on in this state of perpetual heightened awareness; at least that's what Alex kept telling herself. She would need the time afforded her by the Scott Donovan problem to get up her nerve to tell Olivia how she really felt, this time without any help from the bottle.

* * *

><p>Olivia felt as if Alex had been evading her all week. The attorney had certainly been avoiding being alone with her. Alex had not cancelled their usual lunch dates per se, but she had insisted on bringing lunch to the squad room instead of going out to eat. And once Alex brought the food over to the precinct she would scurry off to talk to Munch or Fin instead of pulling up a chair and eating at Olivia's desk like she used to do.<p>

At first Olivia was hurt by the snub, whether it was inadvertent or not. She worried that Alex was angry with her for not stopping their kiss on Tuesday night. It was difficult to bring up the subject when Alex was avoiding her and making excuses as to why they couldn't do anything together, including their usual morning run.

Olivia eventually worked her way to anger over the whole situation, anger at how Alex was dealing with this. Alex had been the one to start things and she shouldn't be punishing Olivia for doing the right thing and halting their intimacies before they'd gone too far. Hell, she should be congratulated on her skills in self-denial because she really, re_ally_ wanted Alex. She wanted to be over Alex, under Alex, and most desperately she desired to be allowed inside Alex. Really, Olivia wanted Alex in any way she could possibly have her, sexual or not.

Friday night was their standard dinner and a movie night and Alex hadn't specifically called it off, so Olivia was going over to the attorney's apartment and getting some answers. As she was walking down the short hallway to Alex's door, the detective was mentally giving herself advice on how to control the conversation. She knew she needed to be insistent and demand answers from the blonde, but not be too harsh.

Olivia took a deep breath and knocked on the door. It didn't take too long for Alex to answer with a surprised look on her face. Olivia could also sense an intriguing undercurrent of fear or some similar emotion and she wondered what that was about.

"What are you doing here?" Alex asked, not opening the door very wide and definitely not inviting the uncomfortable-looking detective inside her apartment.

"It's Friday," Olivia said breathlessly, surprised she could force any air out of her lungs at all. At her first glimpse of the casually dressed attorney Olivia lost her breath and her mind, along with any thoughts of demanding answers. Alex was wearing tight fitting jeans that hugged her legs and hips like a second skin, showing off her trim runner's legs. She had on a sleeveless black tank top that pulled tight across her chest, emphasizing her breast, at least that's where Olivia's eyes were drawn to. And to put the final nail in Olivia's ability to be able to think any coherent thoughts, on top of the attorney's already too sexy look Alex was wearing her glasses. _God, she looks so sexy_, Olivia groaned in her mind, barely suppressing the one that wanted to escape out loud from deep within her chest.

Understanding dawned in those beautiful blue eyes after a few moments of confusion. "Oh god, I'm sorry, Olivia. I meant to cancel this week," Alex said as she stepped out into the hall, forcing Olivia back a step or risk contact that wouldn't help the detective control her raging hormones. "I just have too much work to do this weekend."

Olivia narrowed her eyes in confusion and concentration as her mind tried to get past her current thought of _**SEX**_ and process Alex's weird behavior. What didn't make any sense to Olivia was why the attorney would step out into the hall to talk to her when she'd never had a problem letting Olivia into her apartment before. One obvious answer smacked the detective in the face while punching her simultaneously in the gut. "Do you have someone in there?" she asked quietly, trying not to let any emotion flood her voice. She couldn't prevent herself from asking the question even though it was none of her business if there was and she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to know the answer.

"What?" Alex asked, surprised by the question. Olivia knew that she didn't often entertain at her apartment, and certainly not in such comfortable clothing. The detective was the only person she had over on a regular basis and was comfortable enough to wear her casual clothes around; the only person she let her guard down around.

"No, no. No one's here," Alex said adamantly when she realized that Olivia thought she might have a lover inside. She reached out to the detective to reassure her before she could even think to stop herself; her first concern being to comfort her friend. Alex's hand landed on Olivia's bare forearm, which was now wrapped around the brunette's torso.

Olivia's skin was always so warm, never too hot, but the perfect temperature that always seemed to comfort Alex. Even when the brunette was standing rigidly in her hallway, exuding anger and hurt, Alex felt instantly secure in her presence. Olivia would always protect her, but Alex couldn't, or more accurately wouldn't, allow it this time.

Alex pulled her hand back, wanting to offer comfort but knowing she needed the detective to leave. "I'm sorry, Liv. I don't have time for dinner and a movie this week. I'll see you at work next week though." She turned around and walked back into her apartment, not waiting for Olivia to leave before shutting her out.

Olivia stared at the closed door and listened as the locks clicked into place in disbelief. How could Alex go from so sweet and caring one instant to kicking her ass out, not that she was ever actually in Alex's apartment this time, without a satisfying explanation. And she hadn't even been able to bring up the topic of Tuesday night since she'd been knocked senseless by how delicious Alex looked when she'd opened her door.

"Stupid," Olivia said as she walked away from Alex's closed apartment door. She really needed to formulate a plan of action in advance and then stick to it the next time she tried talking to Alex. Olivia considered just getting past their kiss and letting it disappear into the graveyard of her mind with all of the other fantasies she locked away, but she couldn't. She would corner Alex if she had to and force the attorney to talk to her. Olivia hardened her resolve as she stepped into the elevator and away from the sweetest complication in her life.

Alex may have locked her apartment door, but she didn't move away from it. Instead she stood, looking out the eyehole at the slightly distorted image of a disappointed Olivia, and her heart clenched painfully. She wanted so badly to pull open the door again and throw herself into Olivia's arms, what she felt they both wanted, but her life was too complicated right now. Alex just hoped that by the time the danger was over she hadn't alienated Olivia to the point where she couldn't get another chance.

She watched at the peephole until Olivia walk into the elevator and the doors closed behind her. Alex rested her forehead against the cool door for many minutes afterwards, praying she was doing the right thing. She was so wrapped up in her own thoughts and feelings about her strong, beautiful detective that Alex didn't sense the malevolent presence behind her before a hand was clamped over her mouth and she was pulled forcefully back into a hard, thin body.

"Hello, Alexandra," the deep male voice belonging to Scott Donovan whispered into her ear, causing her previously hot blood to run ice cold with paralyzing fear.


	7. Demons

**Disclaimer:** Characters do not belong to me, they most likely belong to Dick Wolf and/or NBC/Universal. I do this for free, fun entertainment and do not mean to offend anyone.

**A/N:** Thank you to all who reviewed the previous chapter, it made me spend the entire day on this to get this chapter out without the long wait of the previous chapter. I wrote it, typed it, and edited it all today; that means I read this chapter three times today and I'm still not sick of it, so hopefully that means it doesn't suck. Again, thanks to anyone who has reviewed or who will review this chapter. Enjoy!**  
><strong>

**Chapter 7  
><strong>

Alex was dragged backwards into her bedroom. Scott Donovan kept his hand plastered firmly over her mouth, not that she had the ability to scream when she could barely even breathe since she was so frightened. It wasn't until she was thrown down onto her bed that Alex's paralysis eased, even as her fears increased.

She'd known something like this was going to happen. Perhaps she had been wishing that Donovan wouldn't get this far, but she had tried to mentally prepare herself for this exact occurrence. Right now all she needed to do was focus on being able to make enough noise to alert Munch and Fin to the fact that something was wrong. They were right outside the building and would come flying in to rescue her in just a few minutes if they didn't already know something was up.

Alex had just taken a breath in preparation for a good, loud scream when Donovan came down on top of her, again placing his hand over her mouth. He straddled her hips, giving her the first unobstructed visual she'd had of him in almost six years.

Scott Donovan was a tall man and built solid with muscles, but his frame was thin instead of burly. He had a narrow chest that Alex could see through his tight white t-shirt was rippled with deceptively stringy strength. His arms were roped with more muscles that seemed to have gotten more pronounced since he'd been incarcerated. Many would consider him a handsome man with tousled light brown hair and clear blue eyes, but looks told one nothing about a person's personality or behavior.

All Alex saw when she looked into those blue eyes was the black soul of an unforgiving demon in human form. There was nothing of humanity left inside such a degenerate man and he had little left to lose, which made him all the more dangerous. And Alex knew all about his past crimes, the crimes that she'd prosecuted him for and which made him exponentially more terrifying to her.

His smile was ugly when he looked down at her spread out, unprotected body. "You have no idea how many hours a day I dreamed of this, Alexandra. All the things I would make you scream, all the things I would make you beg for. I haven't forgotten all the delightful things I promised to do to you… And I will do every single one of them. And, of course, my time in prison let me consider some other options for this meeting and, trust me, you'll love them. You meet so many interesting folks inside and so many of them are just waiting to tell you all the wonderfully perverted things they did to get there. And you begin to realize that some of those things they describe really could be fun. Well, Alexandra, you're the lucky girl who gets to try them out with me."

There was no hiding the fear in her eyes and all that fear did was feed his ego and his grotesquely lovingly nurtured inner sadist. "The only question is: Where to start? I'd like to say that I learned patience while I was deprived of my freedom, but we both know that isn't true. Now, if I remember correctly, you're off on weekends, aren't you? That means we've got at least forty-eight hours before someone knows you're missing. It seems like a lot of time, but I might need more than that to get what I want out of you. Where do you think we should start, Alexandra?" He had the mark of a true sadist, someone who knows you're an actual person and still degrades you.

Scott Donovan paused for a moment and took his hand off her mouth. Alex knew he expected to hear her beg, was giving her the opportunity to beg. It was what he was desperate for, his demon soul craving control over her. The bastard had a never-ending need for power, which he'd tried to take in the past by murdering men and raping their women. Alex wasn't going to waste this opportunity like she had the last when she wasn't thinking clearly. She wasn't going to beg him to let her go because they both knew he wouldn't, so instead she screamed.

Her cry for help was cut short by a hard smack across her face that left the coppery taste of blood in her mouth and her brain disoriented for a few seconds. When she was able to refocus on her captor, Alex saw him brandishing a knife. It looked new and she had no doubt the blade was just as sharp and deadly as it appeared.

"Now, Alexandra, don't do that. It was very considerate of you to get a penthouse apartment with no other occupants on this floor, but let's not test our luck, shall we. Because of that I'm going to have to show you what happens when you disobey the rules." The smile that spread across Donovan's face made Alex sick and she could do nothing as he replaced his left hand over her mouth to keep her quiet as he viciously cut into her chest, just below her left collar bone, with his knife.

Alex screamed against his suffocating hand, knowing that he wanted to hear her cries of pain and trying to deny him that pleasure, but unable to. Even while he was making the cut, Alex was grateful that he'd decided to go with this kind of torture first because if he'd decided to go with his other promised revenge before Munch and Fin got here, she would surely rather be dead. Her strength didn't even begin to compare to that of the living victims she dealt with almost every day.

* * *

><p>Olivia was still confused by Alex's abrupt brush-off immediately following the blonde's attempt to comfort and reassure her. Until a few months ago, Olivia had never known that the attorney could be so unsure and bounce around so haphazardly to multiple different emotions in just the span of a couple of minutes. It was becoming exhausting to keep her own emotions hidden while around Alex since the attorney was sending off so many mixed signals. If only she could, Olivia would just give up and not try to pursue anything deeper with the ADA, but that was about as impossible for her heart to do as it would be for Munch to give up his conspiracy theories.<p>

She was distracted and engrossed in her thoughts on her ride down to the lobby in the elevator and even stood motionless outside in the breeze-less August heat for a few minutes without moving. Olivia almost wanted to turn back around and force Alex to talk to her, but her ego, and her heart, was still bleeding a little from being summarily dismissed just a few minutes ago. Most cases Olivia dealt with at work didn't even tear her apart like this odd limbo she was in with Alex. And she couldn't decide if it was a good thing that Alex could make her feel this strongly or not.

Olivia shook herself out of her reverie and took a deep breath to clear her mind of the emotionally draining thoughts. Her lungs were filled with the heavy, humid air of the city in late summer and Olivia hoped it would rain soon so the air could be cleared; maybe the rain would cleanse her aching soul as well. She'd always liked the rain, especially during the summer when thunderstorms could form quickly and bring the relief of much needed cool, clean air after passing.

It was as she was about to start walking to her car that Olivia noticed something that very few would consider out of place. Across the street from Alex's building was parked a very familiar car with at least one person sitting inside, from what Olivia could see from this angle at least. She quickly darted through traffic, wondering how Fin knew she'd be here. Whatever brought him here, it must be important if he'd been sent to find her.

As she drew closer to the parked car, Olivia checked her phone, afraid that she must have missed a call telling her something had developed in one of her cases. There were no missed calls or messages, so Olivia's curiosity was peaked. It was also odd that Fin was the one who was here since she wasn't currently working any cases with him.

Fin exited the driver's side as Olivia approached the vehicle, not looking forward to what he figured was going to become an unpleasant confrontation. He'd been told multiple times to keep Olivia out of the loop on this one, but it wasn't his fault that the girl was a stupid good detective. Even with all of his years as an undercover operative in narcotics, Fin was completely blanking on any convincing cover story he could throw out to keep Olivia from knowing why he and Munch were really here.

It was a toss-up as to who he'd rather have mad at him, Alex or Olivia; he knew that the orders to keep this assignment under wraps came directly from the ADA herself. Alex was the best person he'd ever seen at giving someone the cold shoulder and she could make him fill out more paperwork than the DMV if she wanted to, so he didn't really want her mad at him. On the other hand, Olivia carried a gun that she was trained to use and he knew from personal experience that the girl could throw a mean right cross, knowledge acquired during a particularly aggressive sparring match, so he wasn't looking forward to pissing her off either.

"Nothing," Fin said. _Yeah, that's believable_, he thought. _I always hang around outside our ADA's apartment building_. He knew that Olivia thought he was here because of something work related that involved her; Fin could read her tone well enough to get that from her question. It was so tempting to go with that lie and make something up about one of the cases she was handling, but that would just come back to bite him on the ass. When Olivia found out about the lie, she would be pissed _and_ would demand to know why he was really here until he caved or went insane from being pestered about it. Although Olivia was not the nagging kind, she still had that damn woman gene that just wouldn't let accept something without knowing all the details.

Olivia's eyes narrowed in suspicion. She didn't believe him for even a microsecond and his subtle nervousness set off alarm bells in her mind. Something was going on here and she got the distinct impression that she was purposely being kept in the dark about it. Her brain worked feverishly to put the pieces together, cycling through the many possible scenarios to find one that fit with everything she knew.

Before she could even formulate a solid guess, Munch jumped out of the passenger seat, startling Olivia with the urgency in which he'd vacated the car. The look in his eyes that bordered on panic and the drawn gun indicated to Olivia that something was seriously wrong. It was even more unsettling when Fin's face took on the same expression of near panic when Munch said, "He's in there!"

Fin's gun was drawn and he was rushing across the street with Munch right beside him without giving Olivia a second thought. _Damn, fuck, damn, with emphasize on the fuck,_ Fin thought. They'd been hoping to catch Donovan before he got the chance to get into Alex's apartment, even if Alex had been prepared to let him get close to her. The front entrance was the only entrance into the building and they hadn't seen him enter, but they must have missed him.

What scared Fin the most was the look of absolute dread that he'd read on Munch's face as he'd said those three words. Munch, who rarely ever got riled unless it was in anger or indignation, was frightened by what he'd heard through the tiny microphones implanted in Alex's apartment. Nothing was worse than failing to protect someone who had trusted you to safeguard them.

Olivia didn't know what was going on, but she did understand that Munch and Fin were moving fast towards Alex's apartment building with their weapons drawn. _Alex_. That must be why they were here and Olivia felt her heart stop beating for a second. She was half a step behind them with her own weapon drawn and aimed safely at the ground as they rushed into the lobby.

They swept past a surprised Sal and ran directly to the elevator bay. Munch was on the radio, calling for back-up and medical personnel at their location. Olivia took the get seconds of opportunity while Munch was setting things up to ask the only question she needed an answer to. "Alex?" she forced out without letting her terror control her, an emotion that she had never felt as strongly as it was right now as it coursed like ice through her veins.

At Fin's curt nod, Olivia broke off from them and ran the few yards to the stairwell. Alex's building wasn't all that tall; Alex had once confided to Olivia that she preferred to be in a low level building in case a fire broke out and she needed to evacuate. Olivia didn't know if the stairs would be quicker than the elevator, but she couldn't take the tense inaction that riding the elevator up to the penthouse would require; couldn't take the thinking that would be unavoidable in the quiet.

She burst through the stairwell door onto the top floor with her gun trained parallel to the floor at any possible threat. Olivia didn't even feel the workout she'd pushed her muscles through by running up at least ten levels' worth of stairs. She hadn't bothered to count, only needing desperately to get to Alex as fast as she could. Her breathing was hard, but that was as much from fear and the surge of adrenaline spiking through her as it was from the impromptu stair climb.

As she took stock of the empty floor hallway, Olivia realized that she didn't know anything about what was going on. She was woefully unprepared for whatever the threat was since she didn't even know what it was, but she knew she needed to protect Alex; the one urge that super-ceded all others. As long as her unpreparedness didn't cause Alex any harm she could live with not knowing what she was walking into. Her own safety was a small price to pay as long as Alex remained unharmed.

The elevator dinged just as Olivia got to Alex's apartment door and although she was fairly certain if would be Munch and Fin, Olivia braced herself against the wall next to the door and took up a firing stance facing the elevator. She had been trained to be alert and assess anything that could be a threat, so she wouldn't take for granted that her team was in that elevator until she saw them. It was only after they had exited the elevators and the doors had closed behind them that Olivia relaxed her stance.

They rushed over to the apartment door, flanking it on the opposite side as Olivia. "Last known location?" Fin asked Munch quietly since it had been the older man who'd been listening to the receiver in the car.

"Bedroom," Munch said succinctly, not wanting to think about what could be going on in there, particularly since he knew everything that Donovan's rap sheet entailed.

"Kick it down," Olivia told Fin, knowing the door was locked from her earlier excursion up here to talk to Alex. The blonde had been locking her out.

Fin obeyed without question, holstering his weapon to get a grip on the doorjamb before using the flat of his foot to break the locks that held the door shut. It took a couple of powerful blows before the door finally gave enough to allow Olivia to shoulder it the rest of the way open.

Olivia quickly made her way through the apartment, doing a cursory examination of any room she came across to make sure no one was in them, but leaving a more thorough inspection to Munch and Fin. She stopped dead in her tracks as she came upon the living room and saw a tall man holding Alex tightly against his body with a knife to her throat.

A pleased look crossed his face when Olivia stopped just inside the room. There was no mistaking the leering, lecherous look that then filled his eyes as he took in his fill of Olivia's rigid physique. "You have some of the prettiest friends, Alexandra," the man said just loud enough for both the detective and Alex to hear him.

At Alex's soft whimper, Olivia quickly flicked her penetrating gaze to the slumped blonde who was having difficulties staying on her feet without assistance. Alex's tank top was torn at the left shoulder and Olivia could see it was wet with blood. A startling crimson smear was very visible against Alex's pale skin. The violation of her friend enraged Olivia, but that emotion was overtaken by a fresh wash of fear as she finished her quick assessment of Alex and found that the attorney was clamping her right hand forcefully against her left wrist. Unfortunately, the tight grip was doing little to staunch the blood that seemed to flow like a river from beneath her hand and well up between her fingers.

Olivia could now see that Alex's pallor was more pronounced than it usually was and the cause was not just the fear Olivia could feel rolling off the attorney in waves. Alex was losing a great deal of blood from the wrist wound and Olivia's concern for her love escalated immensely. There was no doubt in her mind that the blonde needed to get to a hospital, but first Olivia needed to get her away from the lunatic who had done that to her.

She could feel Munch and Fin come up behind her and she forced her eyes to snap back to Alex's captor. The man was not nearly as amused now that he saw two more cops in the apartment, male cops at that. Unfortunately, what Olivia didn't see in his demonic eyes was the thought of surrender. No, this guy wouldn't go down without a fight, which meant that the possibility of someone getting hurt, Alex getting hurt, increased greatly.

Donovan kept his left arm wrapped tightly around Alex's torso, making sure she was a shield in front of his body's central mass. He obviously knew that all cops were trained to shoot at central mass because that was the greatest possibility of hitting something and taking the threat down. Donovan pulled the knife from her throat for a split second, knowing that the cops might make a move if he wasn't threatening his hostage, to point further into the apartment towards the kitchen. "You three, over there." When they didn't make a move to acquiesce to his demand, Donovan expounded upon the importance of his order. "I severed the main artery in her wrist, so either move or watch your friend bleed out," he hissed, not liking it when he wasn't obeyed immediately.

His fun had been interrupted way too early for his liking, but at least he'd been warned about the rescue attempt when the door had been kicked in. He supposed he should be grateful that Alexandra had so many locks because if the door had immediately been broken through, he wouldn't have had time to construct a quick escape plan. There was so much more he needed to do to Alexandra to repay her for stealing his life, so he didn't really want her to die, but that was the only leverage he had left to play with right now. So before they'd left the bedroom, Scott had made sure to cut deep enough into the attorney's wrist to cause some heavy bleeding, serving the purpose of making the rescue more urgent for the cops coming in, and also feeding his sadistic side at the same time if he was honest. He wasn't actually certain that he'd severed an artery, but it sounded good and the blood gushing from the wound made his claim plausible.

"Do it," Olivia said, motioning for her two partners to move towards the kitchen with her following after them. None of the detectives ever turned their backs, just walked slowly backwards with their weapons still trained in his direction. They were all a little nervous that Alex was directly in their line of fire, but none of the well-trained detectives had clicked off their weapons' safeties.

That disturbingly lustful smile was back on the bastard's face and Olivia really wanted to kick his ass for that. And then she wanted to kill him for what he'd done to Alex. No, scratch that, she _would_ kill him for what he'd done to Alex, just as soon as the blonde was safe again.

Scott backed out of the living room and down the entrance hall, making sure to keep a firm grasp on Alexandra's progressively droopy body; her blood lose making it increasingly difficult to control her movements. As he'd figured, the detectives followed his movements down the hall, the female in the lead. When he got to the bashed in front door, Donovan took a moment to whisper one parting comment to the dead weight in his arms, "Until next time, Alexandra."

He pushed Alex roughly towards Olivia and made his escape out the splintered door, using the naturally narrow space of the entrance hall to hinder any pursuit. Olivia reached out and caught Alex with one arm, not wanting to risk dropping her gun and maybe having it accidently misfire. She slid to the floor with Alex pressed against her body, unable to hold the attorney up with just one arm, and motioned for Munch and Fin to go after the escaping kidnapper.

Olivia saw the two male detectives hesitate, torn between going after the perp and staying to take care of Alex. "Go," she commanded, her voice not allowing for either man to disobey the order. She was staying to take care of Alex and she wanted whoever that guy was caught, so he would never be a threat to Alex again, never touch Alex again.

Munch and Fin jumped over Alex's sprawled figure and ran into the hall after Donovan. They hadn't heard the elevator, so they immediately flew through the stairwell door. Neither spotted, nor heard, Scott Donovan running down the stairs, so he likely escaped onto one of the other floors. Now they had a decision to make, either search the floors one at a time or go back to Olivia.

It was decided that Munch would call down to have their back-up conduct the floor searches and then they would go back to the penthouse. Olivia was distracted with Alex, so she wouldn't be one hundred percent alert if Donovan doubled back up to the top floor. They also wanted to make sure that Alex was going to be fine.

Fin announced their presence as soon as they cleared the stairwell so as not to startle Olivia and get shot at. Alex and Olivia were still on the floor with Olivia pressing a towel around the blonde's bleeding wrist. She'd gotten a towel for Alex's shoulder wound as well, but that one, while deep, was not nearly as grave as her wrist injury. "Get the medics up here, now," Olivia again demanded.

It didn't take long for the EMTs to make their way up to the apartment, with an armed escort since Donovan had not yet been located. Alex was bandaged quickly and strapped to a gurney so she could be transported to the hospital. Olivia insisted on riding with Alex and there was no one who dared deny her when they heard the steel in the detective's voice when she spoke.

* * *

><p>Olivia was pacing the waiting room when Munch, Fin, and Elliot came in. By the way they made their way over to her, almost slinking along the walls as if they wanted to disappear, she knew the news they had to impart was not going to be what she wanted to hear. They had never been so reluctant to tell her bad news as they were right now when it had to do with Alex.<p>

When they stopped in front of her and still didn't say anything, Olivia quickly got tired of their childish behavior. "Spit it out, guys." While Olivia always had a commanding presence, she wasn't often overtly aggressive and never had been outside of taking down a perp, but her fear for Alex was making her more domineering. Since she did not feel in control over what was happening with Alex, she was overcompensating by trying to control everything else around her.

Munch and Fin shot quick glances over at Elliot before becoming very interested in the waiting room floor once again. Elliot may not have been at the apartment when everything was going down, but he had the most experience in dealing with Olivia when she was in an unstable mood, so they were diverting to his expertise. Self-preservation was something that entered their minds when Olivia looked like she was prone to go off at any moment about any little thing, the exact look she was wearing now.

Elliot cleared his throat, hating the stall tactic but needing to give himself another couple of seconds before imparting the bad news to the very person who was subconsciously demanding good news. "He got away, Liv. We searched the building, as many apartments as we could gain access to and couldn't find him." They were limited in the number of apartments they could search because unless they had a warrant, which they weren't about to get, they could only search the ones where the owners gave consent.

Olivia's eyes blazed with an angry fire that not even Elliot had ever seen in such intensity. Her hands clenched at her sides, her short fingernails digging into the skin of her palms, leaving marks but not drawing any blood. She kept telling herself that it wasn't their fault that they'd found nothing and that asshole would still be missing even if she'd been the one to lead the search for him. Olivia had chosen to go to the hospital with Alex instead of searching for her friend's assaulter, and she couldn't stop the punishing thoughts that streamed unfiltered through her mind.

The female detective gave a cut nod in understanding of the information, but didn't say anything until she felt she could control her voice. Her eyes had gone from a blazing inferno to hard obsidian, darkening in her anger. She caught the gaze of Munch and Fin, forcing them to maintain eye contact no matter how desperately they wanted to look away.

"Who was he?" she asked slowly, making sure they understood every simple word she said and knew they had no choice but to answer. Olivia had figured out the obvious, that they'd been outside Alex's apartment to protect her, which meant that they knew where the threat came from, or at least why there was a threat.

"Scott Donovan. A perp from Alex's past, when she was an ADA in Boston," Munch answered shortly. It was best to give short, concise answers until the interrogation was over.

"She knew he was coming after her?"

"Yes."

Olivia looked away as a look of anguish crossed her beautiful, olive-toned features. _Why didn't Alex tell me?_ She would have done anything to protect Alex and instead her friend had kept her in the dark.

There wasn't much time to embrace the pain of being kept out of Alex's personal life because a doctor came into the waiting room and called Alex's name. Olivia walked over, followed by the three male detectives, and showed the doctor her badge to get him to talk to them since none of them were a blood relative.

"She lost quite a lot of blood, so we gave her a transfusion and stitched the injuries. The wound under clavicle is deep, but shouldn't present any problems. The gash along her left forearm should heal just fine, but we are a little worried about the tendons in the area. It doesn't look like any of them were damaged, but we'll see if she needs physical therapy in a couple of weeks after she's had some time to heal . She's been given some pain medication and is being moved to a private room for overnight observation. Just see the nurse at the station out front and she'll give you directions to the room."

Needing to see to another patient, the doctor excused himself after asking if they had any other questions. Olivia watched him walk away before forcing herself into motion to walk towards the front nurses' station. They were directed up to the fourth floor and the boys followed behind Olivia like submissive, chastised children, still letting her lead the way since she seemed to need the control that afforded her.

Alex was asleep when they got to her room. Olivia went in and squeezed Alex's uninjured right hand before asking for the car keys from Elliot and telling him to catch a ride back to the precinct with Munch and Fin. There was nothing she could do here and Olivia needed to find Scott Donovan and get him out of Alex's life forever.

The three male detectives that had worked with Olivia for years watched their colleague leave with a determined stride and knew that Scott Donovan had never felt the hell that was about to rain down upon him.


	8. Information Gathering

**Disclaimer:** Characters do not belong to me, they most likely belong to Dick Wolf and/or NBC/Universal. I do this for free, fun entertainment and do not mean to offend anyone.

**A/N:** I have been distracted recently by other stories, so sorry that this chapter took a little while to post. Thank you to all who have reviewed this story thus far, I honestly appreciate everything you have to say. Enjoy!**  
><strong>

**Chapter 8  
><strong>

As Olivia walked out of the hospital, she glanced at her watch, noticing that it was only nine o'clock. The whole agonizing ordeal that she'd just been through had taken less than three hours, from the time she'd shown up at Alex's door looking for answers to right now. It had seemed like a lot longer than that, the time it had taken to get to Alex after she'd known the ADA was in danger had felt like years, every second of which she was petrified that she wouldn't reach Alex before it was too late.

The only other person she had ever shown such concern for was her partner. She and Elliot had to develop a close relationship, had to know how each other thought and how each other would react in any given situation. Anticipating and predicting each others' moves and thought process had served them well on many occasions when verbal communication was not an option. The connection Olivia felt to Elliot was intense, but it lacked the intimacy she embraced in her connection with Alex.

Olivia had spent years deluding herself into thinking that the only thing she felt towards Alex was a strong sexual attraction. It was safe to feel attraction as long as one didn't act upon it; at least that had been Olivia's philosophy. While her self-delusion had started to crumble many months ago, staying with Alex after her biking accident had completely shattered any remaining thoughts of their attraction being strictly a physical pull. It was impossible for Alex to hide behind her cool façade all the time when Olivia was practically living with her, and she had shown the detective enough of her true self to effectively burrow her way into Olivia's heart.

The woman Olivia had come to know while staying at Alex's apartment was beyond incredible. Olivia had always known that Alex was dedicated to her job, but she learned that every single victim was more than just a statistic to bolster the amazing attorney's win-loss ratio. It was Alex's personal concern for the victims that had ultimately caused Olivia to admit she'd fallen helplessly in love with the blonde ADA.

Ever since realizing that Alex was incredibly important to her, especially outside of their symbiotic occupations, Olivia had felt possessive of the attorney with an overwhelming need to protect her at any cost. She'd gone so far as to snap uncharacteristically at any of the replacement ADAs that had been sent to help with Alex's workload while she was recovering. Olivia had even barked at Elliot when he'd made a joke at Alex's expense, even though she knew it wasn't meant to be hurtful, nor had it been inappropriate.

And if today had driven anything home to Olivia, it was that she'd failed to protect her love. Alex was back in the hospital and all Olivia would have had to do to prevent it was take control and insist on having the conversation she'd planned to discuss with the attorney. She'd been mere feet from gaining entrance into Alex's apartment, where she could have prevented Scott Donovan from attacking Alex, and she hadn't even felt that anything was wrong. Some detective she was that she couldn't even tell that Alex knew she was in danger, maybe she didn't know it was that immediate a danger, but Alex knew she was putting herself in harm's way.

Besides the disappointment she felt with herself for not sensing the jeopardy Alex had been in, Olivia couldn't help but feel ineffective by the fact that Alex hadn't told her about Donovan's escape. The ADA should have been able to come to her for help when she'd found out one of the men she'd sent away had escaped from prison, but instead she'd gone to Munch and Fin. Did Alex not trust Olivia to protect her? Was the detective deficient in some way in Alex's eyes?

The only way that Olivia could think to make things better was to catch that bastard, proving to Alex that she could protect what was hers. Not that Alex was hers, Olivia silently amended, no matter how much she wished she could lay claim to the beautiful, intelligent attorney. With the way she felt right now, Olivia didn't even think she was worthy of Alex's friendship, let alone her love. She would show Alex, and herself, that she was deserving of the attorney's faith and trust.

Wanting to start at where she'd first seen Scott Donovan, Olivia got into the department vehicle that she usually shared with Elliot and drove back to Alex's apartment. The New York City Police Department was still out in force around Alex's neighborhood, many obviously being pulled in when the brass learned an attack had been made on one of their ADAs. Olivia couldn't believe that Donovan had made an escape with so many officers milling around, but he could have been gone before all the bodies had shown up.

There was currently a police guard situated in the lobby as well as the night guardsman. Olivia saw that Sal was still hanging around as well and went over to him when he signaled to her. "What is it, Sal?" Olivia asked, not sure if she was going to be faced with his concern for Alex or his desire to help out with the investigation.

He looked at her with steely eyes, but Olivia could see the effort it was taking him to rein in his natural worry over Alex's condition. "A lot of the apartment owners had already left for the weekend, so your officers couldn't search the majority of them. We're getting together the list of all residents, including their contact numbers, if you want to call them and ask for consent to search their apartments."

Olivia nodded, knowing it was precarious at best to conduct searches without a warrant when the resident wasn't home, but if they made it clear that they were just looking for an escaped suspect they might get a better response from the apartment owners. That would then led to the decision of whether or not they wanted to release the specific information of why they were looking, violating Alex's privacy in the process. It was a decision best left up to the brass and Alex; particularly because Olivia's gut was telling her that Donovan was no longer in the building.

"How is she?" Sal asked in a quiet voice. He was extremely worried about her since the last time he'd seen Alex had been when she was wheeled out of the building with a blood soaked bandage wrapped around her wrist and another plastered to her upper chest.

Olivia reached out a hand and rested it on his tired shoulders, giving him the physical comfort that he needed. "The doctor said that she'll heal just fine. Don't worry, Sal. Alex is strong, she wouldn't let that bastard do her in," Olivia said, trying to believe her own words. The problem was that her mind kept creating scenarios about what they would have found if they hadn't made it to Alex in time.

"You should go home, get some rest," she said, squeezing his shoulder in reassurance. "Alex is under watch at the hospital, so nothing's going to happen to her there. And there's nothing more you can do here. We've got the place covered with cops for an entire block, so if he's still around we'll catch him."

Sal nodded his head and started back to his station to pick up his things before taking Olivia's advice. The detective watched him go, hoping he would be able to push his concern for Alex aside and get at least a few hours of sleep tonight. She knew that there was no way she'd be getting any for the foreseeable future, and it was probably for the best since she knew that her sleep would be filled with nightmares.

Olivia made her way up to Alex's apartment, not surprised to see the crime scene unit still hard at work. CSU captain Judith Siper came directly over to Olivia when she saw the detective loitering in the entrance hall. She knew from Olivia's rigid stance that the female detective was taking this case hard, not that they all didn't want to do their best work when it involved one of their own. Captain Siper had been privileged enough to work with ADA Cabot on a few occasions and she had always admired the blonde attorney's professionalism and the underlying care that she felt for each victim.

"Detective Benson," Captain Siper addressed the woman whom she considered a friend, knowing that Olivia needed her to keep a professional distance today. Some people wanted comfort when a hard case was presented to them, but Olivia had always been more prone to draw within herself and put everything she had towards the single-minded focus of catching the perpetrator.

"How did he get in?" Olivia asked immediately. She knew there was no way Alex would have just let the bastard into her apartment, so there had to be some kind of forced entry somewhere. The apartment door had been intact before they'd kicked it down during the attempted rescue, so he hadn't come in that way.

"It looks like the locks were picked," Siper answered. "He was probably already inside the apartment for a few hours before the actual attack. "

Olivia whipped her head around from where her gaze had been drawn to the blood smears in the front hall; Alex's blood as she'd been held in Olivia's arms. _Fuck, I should have known something was wrong, I should have prevented this_. If she just hadn't conceded to Alex's wishes earlier tonight then the blonde wouldn't be back in the damn hospital for the second time in four months. "You're sure?" she asked.

"Pretty sure," Judy said with a shoulder shrug. "It's the only timeline that makes sense with what Munch and Fin told me and the evidence exclusively supports that theory."

Olivia nodded, her eyes going back to wandering around the bloody apartment that she'd spent so much time in as of late. Alex had been wounded in her bedroom, so there was a trail of her blood through much of the apartment. The largest accumulation that Olivia could see was in the front hallway where she'd cradled the falling attorney before she could hit the floor hard enough to extend her injuries.

Judy took the hint that Olivia was not up for talking anymore or asking anymore questions right now and was about to go back to work when the detective's soft voice stopped her. "When your people are done, could you call a cleaning crew, please? I want the place looking the way it was before when Alex gets back. Have them clean whatever they can and replace anything else."

Olivia knew that Judy had connections to crime scene clean-up crews since she was usually asked to give the okay before a scene was released. They didn't need her official consent to declare a crime scene no longer necessary, but the courtesy was usually extended to the woman because they all respected her expertise.

The CSU captain agreed before turning back to her work, but needed to make a few things clear to Olivia. "It's probably going to take at least a couple of days to get everything back to how it was before tonight. Longer than it will take for Alex to get released from the hospital," she said. "And it won't be cheap. The bedroom is going to be the biggest problem. But I'll see what I can get my friend to do."

"Thank you," Olivia said, already working out in her mind how she was going to pay for it. She wasn't worried about the work being done before Alex needed the apartment back, because she was forcing the blonde into protective custody as soon as Alex got out of the hospital; meaning the attorney was being moved to a safe house. It didn't matter what argument Alex presented, she was being protected twenty-four hours a day until Donovan was either caught or killed.

Curiosity won out over good sense within Olivia and she walked through the apartment, following the blood trail back to Alex's bedroom. She didn't really need to personally see where Alex had been lacerated, but she wanted to know what Judy was talking about when she'd said the bedroom was going to be the biggest problem. And Olivia knew what Captain Siper meant when she stood in the bedroom door to survey the damage done in that room.

There were two blood pools visible from where Olivia stood in the doorway, and although she had seen a lot more blood at many other crime scenes, knowing that this blood belonged to Alex made her stomach clench in physical pain. The first pool Olivia saw was on the floor, soaking through the pale green throw rug that ran along the side of Alex's bed, probably positioned there so her feet wouldn't immediately touch the cold hardwood floor when she got up in the morning. From the volume of blood, Olivia would guess that was where the sick bastard had opened up Alex's wrist, cutting dangerously deep and yet still proclaiming that he didn't intend for Alex to bleed out.

It was the large blood stain that had soaked into Alex's white satin sheets, almost assuredly soaking down into the mattress as well, that surprised Olivia at the same time that it enraged her. Donovan must have pushed Alex down on the bed before he'd cut into her shoulder. Olivia could too easily picture the grotesque grin that had probably spread across Donovan's face as he'd pushed Alex into the mattress with his body weight and slid his knife through skin and muscle until it was buried deep in Alex's shoulder. Her body trembled in fury and Olivia renewed her silent vow to make Scott Donovan pay dearly for the pain Alex had suffered.

Everything at Alex's apartment was well in hand and there was nothing that Olivia could do without getting in the way. She decided that her time would best be spent back at the precinct, gathering whatever information she could come up with on Donovan. Olivia needed to know what he was like and where he felt most comfortable if she wanted to find him before he struck again, and right now the only thing she knew he liked was Alex.

* * *

><p>Before Olivia knew it, morning had arrived and her colleagues started to drift in. Cragen was the first to show, immediately demanding to know how long Olivia had been there. She told him the truth, that she'd been there all night, but threw in a lie that she'd taken a nap in the crib so that he wouldn't send her home. It looked to her like the captain didn't believe her, but he didn't press the issue, which she was grateful for.<p>

During the night she'd done what she could, but it was difficult to get anywhere when the bureaucratic machine of government was shut down for the night and even more difficult when it was the start of the weekend. She'd already pissed off the warden at the maximum security prison where Donovan had been held after his last conviction. The warden hadn't thought it appropriate to call in the middle of the night, but had eventually promised to send over Donovan's prison records as soon as he got into the office in the morning. It had taken a couple of times of hanging up on Olivia, but the warden had finally realized that she wasn't going to stop calling until she got the response she was looking for.

Olivia had kept in contact with Munch, Fin, and Elliot throughout the night. They'd all agreed to take turns watching over Alex while she was staying in the hospital, only Olivia begging off guard duty. She wasn't ready to face Alex until she was certain that she would be able to keep her emotions under control. The boys had graciously accepted her hands off approach concerning Alex and hadn't asked any question, probably at the behest of Elliot.

Whether she was ready or not, Olivia would be seeing Alex later that morning or early that afternoon when the attorney was discharged from the hospital. Elliot was on guard duty now and he had explicit instructions to bring Alex directly to the precinct when she was released.

Olivia had dropped off a change of clothes for Alex to wear out of the hospital, knowing that the clothes she had been wearing were covered in blood and had probably been thrown out with the biohazard waste. She'd also grabbed a small duffel bag worth of other clothes from Alex's extensive collection so that she'd have clothes to wear for a few days while she was getting settled into protective custody.

By early afternoon, Olivia was the only one working on Alex's case again. Munch and Fin had caught a case and Olivia had waved off their concern with not being able to help her with researching Donovan because their information was still pretty limited and she could scour the files herself. Elliot was still at the hospital, awaiting the status of Alex's release.

Olivia had been expecting Elliot's call to warn her that they were leaving the hospital, so she thought nothing of answering her phone when his number came up. A warning was going to be needed when Alex left the hospital because they were all certain that the attorney was going to be livid when she was brought to the precinct instead of back home. However, Olivia was not prepared for the actual reason of Elliot's call.

"Listen, Liv, our plan to put Alex into protective custody is going to have to wait another day. Alex isn't going to be released today," Elliot's voice came over the line.

"What's wrong?" Olivia asked, unable to keep the panic from creeping into her tone. The doctor had said that Alex's injuries weren't severe, but sometimes medical professionals got things wrong. Maybe they hadn't thought to check something and Alex was now suffering from their incompetence. It didn't matter that most of the thoughts skittering around Olivia's mind were supremely unlikely; she still couldn't prevent herself from thinking them.

"It's okay, Liv," Elliot tried to soothe his partner, realizing that he could have started this conversation in a more reassuring manner. "Alex's red blood cell count is still down or something like that. They're just going to give her another transfusion and keep her for another night. If the count is low again tomorrow morning then they'll run another battery of tests, but they say it should be nothing to worry about."

"Okay," Olivia said, not entirely convinced, but there was nothing she could do. "How is she doing besides that? I assume she's woken up since last night," the female detective inquired, trying not to sound too eager for the information because she knew that Elliot would just tell her to come down and see Alex for herself if she really wanted to know.

"She slept pretty much all night, or was at least in a state of medicated limbo. This morning when she could finally function properly again, she just kept begging me to not let anyone call her mother," Elliot said with a chuckle, thinking that was an odd request for someone Alex's age.

Olivia had to hold in a chuckle of her own, picturing the pleading look that Alex must have given Elliot. Alex had talked quite extensively about her mother to Olivia and the detective knew that the woman was really overprotective of her only daughter. Olivia knew that the reason Alex didn't want her mother told wasn't because Alex didn't love her mother, she was just afraid of all the constrictions the older woman would put on Alex's life if she knew why the attorney had been hurt.

"Other than that she's okay though?" Olivia asked. The stress Alex was probably feeling over the possibility of her mother finding out couldn't be good for her healing process, but again there was nothing Olivia could do about it. Alex could only pray that word of her hospital admittance didn't reach her mother in Boston.

"Yeah, she's good. She's grumbling a little about being back in the hospital so soon and how she's spent more time under medical care in the past four months then she has the entire rest of her life. You know Alex, just generally pissed that she can't go back to work yet."

It certainly did sound like Alex, the Alex that they all knew, and it did a little to soothe away some of Olivia's concern. Olivia thanked Elliot for the update and then told him about the small amount of progress she'd made during the past however many hours since learning about Scott Donovan at the hospital; time was starting to blur together for her.

Just as she was getting off the phone with Elliot, Cragen came out of his office carrying a thick folder. He walked over and set it on Olivia's desk. "That's the file on Scott Donovan from his first known crime up until Alex put him away for life," Cragen said. He'd requested a copy of the file from Massachusetts when Alex had come to him for a protective detail and it had just arrived by carrier moments ago.

Olivia grabbed the file and pulled it towards her. "Thank you, Captain," she said as she did a preliminary run through of the file, checking to see if anything popped out at her before settling in to do a more thorough exploration. Despite her best efforts, she hadn't been able to contact anyone with enough authority to release this information to her, so she was very happy that the captain had already made the request.

Cragen nodded and walked away, leaving Olivia to pore over the file. It contained Donovan's extensive rap sheet, the transcripts from his final trial, and, the thing that scared Olivia the most, the reported threats that he'd made against Alex and others. The threats that he'd made towards Alex in particular were detailed and horrifying, some being recorded verbally and other having been written by his own hand before being sent to Alex, likely as a scare tactic during the trial. Oh, how Olivia now wished that Alex had yielded to that scare tactic and just excused herself from the trial.

Olivia was still going over the file when Elliot showed up at the precinct at a little past nine that night. "What are you doing here?" Olivia asked, not understanding why he'd come in so late. "You should go home, get some rest."

"That's where I came from. Fin relieved me at the hospital about three this afternoon, so I got my sleep. What about you?" Elliot asked, knowing that Olivia hadn't caught even an hour of shuteye in probably over thirty-six hours. She wasn't looking particularly tired, but he worried that the fatigue might catch up with her quickly.

"I'll sleep when I'm tired," Olivia said, not answering the question directly even though she knew her retort wasn't fooling Elliot. Her brain was still functioning pretty well, although she was starting to feel like a schizophrenic squirrel from all the caffeine she'd mainlined in the past few hours, her average intake steadily increasing as the hours passed.

"You know I'm just going to bug your ass until you take a nap. Just a small one, Liv. Like an hour, and then you can get back to work without me nagging at you every minute," Elliot taunted. Olivia knew he would just bitch at her until she relented, so she did without any more of a fight.

"Fine, but I'm going home so I can take a shower and change before I get back here," she said. Olivia picked up the car keys off her desk and slid the Donovan file over onto Elliot's desk. "I've been through most of it, but maybe your fresh eyes will pick up some clue as to where he'd go that I haven't. If you finish with that, you can take a look through his prison file too. This guy is a real piece of work, as you can tell from just the thickness of his file."

* * *

><p>Olivia had every intention of going home, but wound up at the hospital instead. She'd had no conscious plan to go see Alex, but the fact that the attorney was still in the hospital didn't sit well with Olivia. Not only did it mean that Alex wasn't healing as quickly as she should have been, but it was much more difficult to protect her in such a place where they couldn't control the flow of people.<p>

While in the hospital, Alex came into contact with too many different people. She had nurses, doctors, and aids checking on her and Donovan could slip in with relative ease and kill Alex if that was what he wanted. Olivia wasn't comforted by the fact that Donovan apparently wanted to keep Alex alive for the time being so he could torture her. His plans for torturing Alex didn't ease Olivia's anxiety, but it did mean that Donovan wasn't likely to strike quickly where his only option would be to kill, and that would be his only option in the hospital with a guard always on duty outside of Alex's room.

Fin was sitting outside of Alex's closed hospital room door, reading a magazine but also paying close attention to anyone walking down the hall. He looked up and smiled at Olivia as she approached. "Didn't think you're drop by," he said amiably.

"How is she?" Olivia asked, not about to admit that she hadn't planned on stopping by and in fact just always seemed to be drawn to the blonde ADA's side.

"Good, good. She went to sleep maybe a half hour ago and I haven't heard a peep since."

"Why don't you go get some coffee or something? I'll stay with her for a few minutes," Olivia said. Now that she was here she might as well go in and see Alex, especially since Fin said she was asleep.

"You got it. I'll be back in ten minutes," Fin said, throwing his magazine onto the chair he'd just vacated and sauntering off down the hall to hopefully find some drinkable coffee.

Olivia waited until he was out of sight before quietly opening the door and slipping in to see Alex. The curtains on the windows of the private room were not completely drawn, letting in some ambient light from the street below. It was enough illumination for Olivia to be able to see Alex lying stiffly on the narrow bed. The injured attorney seemed to be in a bit of a perturbed sleep, but at least she was getting some rest, even if it wasn't particularly good.

There was a chair sitting a few yards away from the hospital bed, which looked as if it hadn't been used since Alex became the occupant of this room. Olivia bypassed the chair, not intending to stay long enough to need to use that piece of furniture. The detective headed directly over to the bedside on Alex's right, her uninjured side, and gently ran her fingertips down the sleeping form's exposed forearm to her slightly curled hand.

Olivia gently squeezed Alex's hand, but resisted the urge to hold it for a prolonged period. They were friends and Alex probably wouldn't pull away from the contact if she were awake, but Olivia was still too emotionally raw to let herself take that intimacy. Instead, she contented herself with continuing to lightly run her fingers along Alex's forearm and hand, enjoying the silky texture under her fingertips.

She stayed there, not saying a word, just looking at Alex until she knew that Fin must be back from his coffee break and stationed once again outside the hospital room. Olivia was about to pull back when Alex's fingers weakly grasped onto her retreating hand, keeping the detective from pulling further away. The deep brown of Olivia's eyes shot up to Alex's face to look into the attorney's sleep clouded blue orbs.

"Stay," was the whispered command that slipped from Alex's lips in a sleep-roughened voice. It was the second time in less than half a year that her friend had asked her to keep close while she slept, and Olivia was just as powerless to resist this time as she'd been the last.

Olivia smiled down into Alex's eyes and pulled the chair up behind her, reaching back to hook it with her foot so that she wouldn't have to break their physical connection. "Okay, I'm staying," she whispered back to the tired attorney as she sat down. "Go back to sleep." Olivia readjusted their hands to thread her fingers through Alex's, giving the attorney the contact she sought.

Alex squeezed their entwined hands gently, her muscles still weak from being pulled out of slumber just moments ago, before pulling hers away and reaching up to cup Olivia's face. "You too, Liv. You're exhausted," Alex said in a voice made huskier from the disuse of sleep.

Olivia pushed her face into Alex's hand and didn't resist when the blonde stretched her fingers to the back of the detective's neck and gently pulled her head down. Alex scooted her hips over a little more on the narrow bed and directed Olivia's head into the now empty place beside her body on the cot. Olivia's eyes didn't close until she felt the attorney lightly running her fingers along her scalp, playing in her short brown hair. She would have purred in delight had she not immediately felt so tired. It took no more than a minute for Olivia to drift off to sleep with Alex's soothing caresses leading the way.

It was almost three hours later when Olivia was slowly brought out of her slumber by a gentle, rhythmic clenching at the back of her neck. She slowly turned her head around to see that Alex's hand had still been buried in her hair and it was now making slow scratching motions even though the blonde was otherwise asleep. Olivia smiled at the involuntary motion designed to give her pleasure and placed a light kiss to the palm of Alex's hand, stilling its movements.

Her back protested at the bent over sleeping position she'd been in, so Olivia stood up and stretched it out. She felt refreshed after the just under three hours of solid sleep and was ready to get back to work, ready to find Scott Donovan.

The detective bent over the deeply breathing, sleeping attorney and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. She drew back a few inches and smiled at the peaceful, angelic expression that graced Alex's features. "I love you," she whispered, only half surprised that she'd said the words aloud as she placed another reverent kiss just below the blonde's hairline before pulling back.

Olivia's breath caught in her throat a half step from the hospital room door when she could have sworn she heard Alex mumbled, "Love you, too." The detective whipped around but saw that Alex was indeed still sleeping, adjusting herself more comfortably on the narrow cot, but definitely still asleep.

It was difficult to tell if Alex had actually said those words or if Olivia's mind had just projected what she wanted to hear. Either way, the actions of the past few hours would not be leaving Olivia's thoughts for quite some time. She was now filled with a budding sense of hope and a deeper degree of fear that she could lose what she valued most as she walked out of Alex's room and back into her role as detective.

* * *

><p><strong>I am giving forewarning that the rating of the story will be going up within the next couple of chapters. Probably the next chapter, but I'm not one hundred percent sure yet. Thank you all for reading up until this point and I hope most of you will stick with the story through the ratings change.<strong>


	9. The Art of Compromise

**Disclaimer:** Characters do not belong to me, they most likely belong to Dick Wolf and/or NBC/Universal. I do this for free, fun entertainment and do not mean to offend anyone.

**A/N:** So the rating does not go up for this chapter, but next chapter for sure. Thank you to everyone who's reviewed so far, I truly appreciate all of the encouragement you all give me. Please enjoy!**  
><strong>

**Chapter 9  
><strong>

Alex awoke alone, feeling the emptiness at the side of her bed where Olivia had rested her head. She had stroked her fingers through the brunette's silky hair long after Olivia had fallen asleep, until she had also succumbed to the spell of slumber. Alex vaguely recalled Olivia saying that she loved her before leaving in the wee hours of the morning and her heart fluttered happily. Once Donovan was caught, they would need to have a talk about their relationship, which currently abounded with too much unfulfilled potential for Alex's peace of mind.

At least today Alex could look forward to getting out of the hospital. Yesterday she'd still felt tired, so Alex wasn't too surprised when they'd told her that her blood count was still low and they needed to give her another transfusion. Today, however, she felt very good, stronger, happier, although some of her good mood could probably be attributed to Olivia's visit last night.

She couldn't wait to get out of this hospital, even if it was just to go back to her violated and disorganized apartment. Alex knew that the crime scene unit had probably been over every inch of her apartment by now and she just hoped they'd released the scene so she could start cleaning the place up. The attorney made a mental note to ask Captain Siper how Donovan had gotten into her apartment with no one being alerted to his entrance.

Alex was gently flexing her left hand, opening and closing it to see how it felt with the new stitches, when a nurse came in. The nurse greeted her warmly and Alex couldn't help but smile back at the young Hispanic woman. They discussed how Alex was feeling while the nurse drew a couple vials of blood, which she explained would be used to test Alex's blood count and to see if there were any antibodies floating around in her blood that might indicate the development of an infection.

The results wouldn't take long to obtain and then the doctor would be in to hopefully release her; Alex's nurse was confident that she was doing better today and there would be no reason to keep her under observation. On her way out, the nurse pointed to a bag placed off into a corner out of the way, saying that her detective friends had dropped off some of her clothes for her to wear home. Alex assumed that Olivia must have picked them up as she doubted any of the guys would have been comfortable going through her clothes.

As the nurse predicted, Alex's doctor came in to give her a quick check over and ask if she was feeling any particular discomfort anywhere before signing her release papers. He told her to keep the bandages on her wrist and shoulder clean and dry and that she should make an appointment with her general physician in a few weeks to check the progress of her recovery. Her wrist would be stiff, but if there were any continuous sharp pains then she should immediately see a doctor as there could be damage to the ligaments and tendons that hadn't been assessed when the injury was being treated.

Alex changed into the clothes that Olivia had left for her, a pair of jeans, which Alex had once admitted to the detective were her favorite because they fit perfectly without being skin-tight, and a dark green t-shirt that also allowed her free movement without clinging too tightly to her torso. The outfit made Alex smile because Liv knew so well what she preferred to wear when she wasn't dressed professionally. Now, Alex enjoyed dressing up for work, she was happy to show how much she respected her job, and when going out to a fundraiser or some other political party she was required to attend, but she actually preferred casual clothing at all other times.

As she was walking out of her room, Alex saw Fin at the nurses' station talking to a young aide who seemed to be awed by his presence. Alex walked over to him with her nearly empty duffel bag slung over her uninjured right shoulder. He greeted her and immediately introduced Alex to the aide, Amanda, and started pleading with his eyes for Alex to extract him from this uncomfortable situation of excessive praise. Alex took pity on him and distracted Amanda by asking for her release papers that she knew she needed to sign before leaving the hospital.

Fin took the duffel bag from Alex and thanked her as they walked to his car. Alex waved it off, knowing that most of the detective's in her squad preferred to be unsung heroes and just do their jobs quietly without bringing any attention to themselves. It was refreshing after dealing with a couple of hotshot detectives when she'd worked as an ADA for Boston homicide. Alex just didn't understand how some cops were even allowed into the academy when it was obvious that they only wanted the job to lord their power over civilians.

"So, back to my apartment?" Alex half asked and half requested over the top of the car as Fin threw the duffel onto the back seat. It was the uncomfortable look she just barely caught on Fin's face before she was about to lower herself into the car that prevented her from sliding into the passenger seat and trusting him to do as she asked.

"What?" Alex demanded, her eyes narrowing and the tone of her voice regressing to the one she used when cross-examining hostile witnesses. With all that she'd been through in the past couple of days, Alex was not up for any games. She wanted to know what was making Fin look so uncomfortable, particularly because it obviously involved her.

"I have orders to bring you directly to the precinct," he said. Damn it, why did _he_ always have to be the one to get stuck in this situation of pissing off one of the two women who were constants in his life. At least this time he agreed with Olivia that Alex needed the protection they were offering her, which they were all pretty sure that Alex wouldn't like the extent of the protection they were setting up.

Even worse was that Olivia wasn't even at the station right now, having been sent out to do a canvass of the neighborhood where Munch and Fin had been called to a scene yesterday; they were all working the same case so they could all help out with Alex too. Everyone had agreed that Olivia was going to be the one to tell Alex about protective custody because, to be perfectly honest, all the guys were too afraid to face Alex's icy wrath. Olivia had a closer personal relationship with their ADA, so she'd volunteered to go before the firing squad and break the news to Alex. But with Olivia out on the job, Fin would have to find a way to distract Alex while at the station until the female detective returned.

"Who's orders?" Alex again demanded the answer. There were very few people who could get away with keeping Alex from doing what she wanted to do, but she was beginning to think that she wasn't going to be given a choice in this matter. She at least wanted to know who to yell at when she found them though.

"Olivia," Fin said, not looking at the angry attorney. That's right, he threw Olivia under the bus just to save himself from the ADA's angry stare, not that anyone would blame him.

"What, you take orders from Olivia now?" Alex asked, not raising her voice but her tone nearly freezing Fin's heart in his chest. Even though Alex's discontent was no longer directed at him, Fin could still feel the controlled power that radiated hotly off of Alex. That mysterious power was one of the things that made Alex such a formidable prosecutor.

When the former undercover narcotics detective didn't answer her, didn't even look up into her icy blue eyes, Alex decided on a compromise. She gauged that Fin was in the perfect state of guilt over doing this behind her back and being uncomfortable at having to break the news to her that he would jump at the chance to taper her anger.

"Fine, I'll go to the station, but I want to stop by my building first. I'll just check in with Sal at the front desk and get him to take care of a few things for me. I won't go up to my apartment. Deal?" Alex was pretty sure Fin would accept her terms.

She didn't just want to see Sal because he could get some work done on her apartment while she was being spirited away by the good detectives of the NYPD. Alex knew that Sal would be worried about her and she wanted to assuage his fears. He'd been good to her over the years and there was no need to draw out his concern when a quick visit would put everything right.

Fin contemplated Alex's offer. The point in taking her directly to the precinct was that she would be surrounded by cops with guns who were willing to protect her, but only he would be with her if they stopped by her apartment building. Her building had security, but Donovan had breached it before so that wasn't entirely comforting. On the other hand, it would make Alex happy and probably keep her from freezing him out and he doubted Donovan would strike again at Alex's apartment.

"Okay, but we only stay for a couple of minutes and you stay close the entire time," Fin stated firmly, needing some sort of control after Alex basically spent the last five minutes manipulating him. He pushed to the back of his mind the fact that Olivia would probably actually kill him if he let anything else happen to their ADA. Oh well, he would deserve whatever Olivia could dish out if he once again failed to protect Alex.

"Fine," Alex said, finally slipping into the passenger seat and closing the door. At least her current ordeal hadn't damaged her deal making skills she smiled to herself. A small cloud of depression swept over her when she realized that she would probably be forced away from prosecuting until Donovan was caught, especially if they were going to put her into protective custody. Alex shook the saddening thoughts away and made herself believe that she could talk Olivia into some sort of compromise as well.

* * *

><p>Sal was very happy to see Alex when she walked into the lobby with only the visible stark white bandage over her left forearm as any indication that she wasn't feeling completely well. He came around the security desk and gently embraced the blonde when she indicated that it wouldn't bother her. "It's good to see you, Ms. Cabot," Sal said happily as he pulled back. "I'm glad you're feeling better."<p>

Alex rolled her eyes at his formality but graced him with a generous smile anyway and thanked him for his concern. "I've just got a few minutes here," Alex said, indicating Fin, who was standing a respectable distance behind her to give her some privacy while he continuously surveyed their surroundings. "I need you to call a cleaning service and get my apartment put back together, please. I'm not sure how long I'll be gone, but try to have them finish up in about a week."

Sal's slightly confused expression stopped Alex before she could detail what she wanted done. "It's already been taken care of, Ms. Cabot. Your CSU captain told me that a cleaning crew would come by and start the repairs tomorrow. Would you rather I cancel that service and use a different one that you have in mind?"

Alex thought about it and was a little confused as well. It was not normal procedure for Judy to take care of the clean-up arrangements herself, but perhaps she was making an exception because she was acquainted with Alex. "No, I'm sure whoever Judy has coming in will be the best."

"Okay. Oh, yeah, you got a flower delivery," Sal said, motioning to the bouquet of white lilies sitting behind him at the security desk. "I wasn't sure what you'd want me to do with them, so I just had the delivery guy leave them here."

"Thank you," Alex said, walking over to the flowers and picking the card out of its holder. It was a nice gesture and Alex would have to be sure to thank whoever sent the large bouquet.

The smile fell suddenly from her lips as she read the short, unsigned card. Her nearly panicked gaze searched for Fin and immediately directed him back out to the car, the detective having to jog to keep up with Alex's hurried strides. She demanded that they get back to the precinct _now_, and Fin knew that something about the card still clutched in her hand had spooked her. Believing that any delay would just serve to further agitate the blonde, Fin didn't ask what the problem was and sped off towards the station.

Alex ran from the car before Fin had even come to a complete stop and into the station while Fin protested colorfully behind her. As soon as Alex burst into the SVU squad room, her eyes flew over to Olivia's desk and when that space was found to be empty of the brunette detective, Alex scanned the rest of the room. Finding no sign of Olivia anywhere in the room, Alex barged into Captain Cragen's office demanding the female detective's whereabouts.

"Where's Liv?" Alex asked, her voice a mix of breathless fear and commanding determination, not a tone that many people could pull off in all its complexity. She had never been so rude as to enter the captain's office without being invited before and the uncharacteristic behavior was not lost on Cragen.

"She and Elliot are out on a canvass," the captain stated calmly, in direct opposition to the wild look becoming more prevalent in Alex's darkening blue eyes.

"Bring them back, _now_," Alex commanded, her tone not allowing for any argument. Everyone knew that Alex could be this hard, most of them had seen her in action in the courtroom, but she had never taken such a tone with one of them except for maybe during the Cavanaugh case. Seeing Alex emotionally invested in something was truly an awesome sight to behold as she usually kept such tight-fisted control over all of her feelings.

Cragen studied the blonde for a moment before acknowledging the undisguised fear in her eyes and picking up his phone. "Elliot, I need you and Olivia back at the station… No, just finish the interview you're conducting now and then get back here… Okay, I'll see you guys soon."

The captain made a show of putting the phone back into its cradle, giving Alex some time to compose herself. "Now, would you care to tell me why I just pulled them off an open investigation?" Cragen again asked calmly, knowing that would be the only way to get the information he needed out of the emotional attorney.

Alex didn't say a word, working on calming herself down now that she was pretty sure Olivia was okay for the moment, and handed the white card that she'd taken off the bouquet back at her apartment building to the captain. She watched him as he read it, the words still crystal clear in her mind even though she'd only read it once:

_ You certainly do know how to pick them, Alexandra._

_ I think I'll take a taste of your detective girlfriend before seeing you again._

_ Heal quickly, love, so we can play again soon._

Cragen looked up at Alex. "You believe his threat, Alex?"

"Whatever his incredibly long list of faults are, not included on it is making idle threats. When he says he's going to do something, you can be assured that he will at least attempt it. I want her in protective custody, captain," Alex said, knowing the last part was an over-step of her power, especially in regards to a detective. Alex would prefer to have the police department protect its own, but she had the resources to hire her own protection for Liv if things came to that.

"What do you expect me to do, Alex? Olivia is just as stubborn as you are and she's got the training to take care of herself." He held up his hand to stop the beginnings of Alex's protest, indicating that he wasn't finished yet. "That being said, I agree with you that she should at least be watched, but it's going to be difficult to convince _her_ of that."

"Let me talk to her. I _will_ convince her that protective custody is best for her," Alex stated vehemently, not for a second doubting her need to protect her detective. Olivia could be stubborn, but she didn't have any defense against the leverage that Alex was prepared to use to win their upcoming argument.

"How?" Cragen asked in disbelief. Alex was very good at using words to bring people around to her way of thinking, but Cragen had never seen anyone with Olivia's driving need to take care of herself. Even bringing up the topic of a protective detail to Olivia would put the female detective on the defensive, just ask Elliot about when he'd secretly put an FBI detail on Olivia during one of their cases and she'd completely shut him out once she'd discovered it was at his behest.

"Compromise, Captain Cragen, compromise. She wants me under protective custody, so she'll have to concede to the same thing or I will continue my life as it was before Scott Donovan escaped custody." Alex just hoped that Olivia felt strongly enough for her to agree to the deal because although she didn't want to give Donovan the access to her that he needed in order to fulfill his threats, it would be better if he came after her instead of her detective. Certainly less heartbreaking as long as Olivia remained unharmed.

Damn it, she wished the trap she'd set at her apartment had actually worked. If it had, then Donovan would now be back in custody and he'd never be infatuated with Olivia. Alex already hated herself for getting Olivia involved in her problem, but she couldn't take it if the detective was hurt because of her too.

Olivia may have been fine when Cragen had just called Elliot a few minutes ago, but Alex was still anxious as she awaited their arrival back at the precinct. Alex had never felt this distracting, protective nature towards anyone before and it was rather difficult to deal with since she was also constantly worried about Olivia's safety. Olivia had a job that could occasionally be dangerous, Alex knew that, but the detective didn't usually have a sadistic murderer and rapist fixated on _her_. It was completely different when one was the target versus when one would only be collateral damage; being the focus of a murderer was much more dangerous.

Alex breathed a sigh of relief when Olivia strode into the squad room with Elliot right behind her, not that Alex even registered the ex-Marine except in the vague knowledge that he was in fact with Olivia. It was only Olivia who drew the attention of Alex's blue gaze and the attorney made a full perusal of the female detective's body, under the guise of making sure she was unharmed of course.

Olivia must have gone home after visiting Alex in the hospital because the detective was cleaned up and wearing different clothes. Today the brunette was wearing a pair of dark grey slacks, cinched at the waist with her standard black leather belt, and a black short-sleeved button-up shirt with the hem tucked smartly into those wonderfully fitted slacks. Even when Olivia was dressed in jeans at work, she looked beyond good, but Alex had always enjoyed seeing her dress up a little bit more, especially for court. What Alex would always prefer on Detective Benson however was the close-cropped hair that allowed for the brunette to get away with a slightly disheveled look and made Alex melt when she thought about running her fingers through those silky brown locks.

Immediately upon arrival, Olivia swung towards the captain's door wanting to know why they had been pulled out of the field. She stopped suddenly when she saw Alex standing in the open doorway, Elliot almost tripping over her because she hadn't given any warning. Elliot grumbled over the near collision as he walked around Olivia to toss his notes on his desk, but his partner wasn't listening to him.

It was difficult to read the attorney's expression and Olivia was using all of her concentration to get some clue as to what Alex was thinking, but the detective wasn't able to gather any useful information. So Olivia proceeded cautiously since Alex was probably already mad at having been brought to the station instead of back to her apartment.

Alex jerked her head almost imperceptible motion towards one of the interrogation rooms before walking off to it herself. Olivia followed the blonde with her assessing eyes as she walked through the door, her attitude leaving no question that Alex expected Olivia to follow behind her without any protest. So now the brunette was torn between following the attorney and likely getting into an argument with her or going to see why Cragen had called them back to the squad. Cragen solved her dilemma when he appeared in his doorway and also pitched his head towards the interrogation room that Alex now occupied.

Olivia walked through the door of interrogation room one and shut it behind her, knowing that Alex had only chosen a separate room for the privacy it provided. Alex was standing rigidly at the far end of the empty, scarred table and even though this was a room Olivia was very familiar with, she felt as though she was the one on the defensive today. As such, Olivia chose to stay quiet until Alex brought up whatever it was she wanted to talk about.

"You want me to go into protective custody, right?" Alex asked, her arms still folded tightly across her chest as if she were trying to hold herself together. It was not the posture of the confident woman Alex usually portrayed. Olivia was slightly thrown off by the stance because she was expecting Alex to fight her on protective custody, but instead Alex seemed to be offering her consent to it.

"Yes. He got to you once in your apartment and I won't let you offer yourself up to tempt him to come after you again. We'll hide you away until he makes a mistake and gets caught. You've said yourself that the asshole is impatient, so he'll make some kind of move in the next couple of weeks." Olivia laid her logical arguments out there for Alex to inspect, believing that the best way to convince her would be by appealing to her brain instead of her emotions.

"I'll go if you go," Alex said calmly, locking her eyes onto Olivia's to let the detective read the seriousness in them.

"What? I don't need protection, Alex. I just need to find this fucker before he can hurt you again," Olivia said, baffled by Alex's offer and still a little uneasy about the fact that she hadn't even tried to get out of being put into protective custody.

Alex tossed a small white folded piece of paper onto the table between them, the item sliding across the table with ease until Olivia stopped it with her palm. It was obvious that the attorney expected her to read it, so Olivia picked up the note and read the bold, blocky writing. That was when understanding dawned on the detective as she comprehended the threat against her, obviously made by Scott Donovan.

"It's just psychological warfare, Alex. I'm a detective, he's not going to get near me without my noticing and I will take him down first," Olivia tried to reassure the blonde.

"Damn it, Liv. This is a fucking threat," Alex said, gesturing emphatically towards the note still held in Olivia's hand. She was disconcerted with her inability to keep her emotions under her normally icy control where Olivia was concerned, but she was too worried right now to force herself to calm down. "Take it seriously." It was said in voice half filled with Alex's usual commanding tone, but supplemented with an uncharacteristic undertone of pleading.

"Alex, my time will be better served if I'm here trying to track him down. I _need_ to get him out of your life," Olivia said, hoping that Alex could see the depth of her conviction. It wasn't just that Olivia wanted a hand in catching Donovan, she _needed_ to protect Alex, and the only way she knew how to do that was to be the detective she had been since the day they'd met.

"And I need _you_ to stay safe, Liv. You think this is easy for me. It's because of me that Donovan even knows that you exist and it would be my fault if he did anything to you." Alex could already feel the guilt tearing apart her insides just from putting her detective on Donovan's murderous radar. She couldn't even imagine the devastation that would crush her if Olivia were to actually get hurt. Alex had to swallow back the bile rising in her throat just thinking about it.

"Lex," Olivia said softly in counterpoint to Alex's increasingly harsh tones, trying to calm the panicking blonde. "None of this is your fault. Scott Donovan's actions are his alone and you have never forced him to do the things that he does," Olivia said as she took a few steps towards Alex's stiff form. She wanted to offer physical comfort, but the attorney was not willing to accept it right now.

"No, I don't force him to do what he does, but I am his connection to you," Alex said softly after a few minutes of silence.

Olivia was in the midst of an internal debate in the silent minutes that followed Alex's statement, trying to come up with a way to reassure Alex that nothing was her fault. Finally she just decided to bring up something that she was aware could be a touchy subject. "I've read his files, Alex. I've read all the things he said he'd do to you." Olivia could feel her hands ball into fists at her side and her stomach roil in disgust as she remembered the promised threats of rape and torture that Donovan had made towards Alex. The detective actually hoped that Alex hadn't read all of the sadistic things Scott Donovan had described in his letters.

Alex held up her hand to stop Olivia's words from continuing and felt herself begin to tremble under the weight of the memories. "I remember quite clearly what he said he'd do to me, I don't need any reminders. I had nightmares about it until I left Boston, but they had thankfully receded until I was told about his escape." Alex looked up at Olivia and gave her a pathetically sad smile. "Now I can't get them to leave my thoughts for more than a few minutes at a time."

Olivia closed the remaining distance between them and wrapped her arms around Alex, not caring if the blonde's body language was saying that she wouldn't be receptive to physical contact. She pulled Alex into a fierce hug, promising all the security she had to offer and all the comfort Alex could ever take. The detective knew it was the right decision when Alex's arms came up around her waist and she clung back, taking Olivia's warmth to heat her own chilled soul.

"You know he's the reason why I came to the special victims unit," Alex said quietly next to Olivia's ear, where she was resting her head while soaking in her detective's strength. "I never understood the courage it took to continue living after someone had completely desecrated your body until the Donovan trial. I've never seen the strength it took for his rape victims to sit in that witness box and describe every degrading detail of what he did to them. Their strength and courage made me realize that the living victim is the worthiest person I could ever fight for." Alex said choppily because she couldn't keep the tears from her voice even as a couple escaped down her cheek.

Olivia squeezed Alex tighter for a second as she felt the tear drop onto her neck. She pulled back just enough to be able to look into Alex's eyes, but didn't pull her arms from around the blonde. "You'd feel better if I went into protective custody?" It wasn't really a question since Olivia knew with certainty what the answer was, but she wanted to let Alex know that she was conceding to the attorney's wishes.

"Yes. Please, Liv." Alex was pleading just as much with her eyes as she was with her words.

There was no denying Alex when she turned the full effect of those beautiful blue eyes on Olivia, so it was a good thing she had already decided to acquiesce. "Okay, we'll go into protective custody together then," Olivia said as she kissed Alex's temple and drew the blonde back into an airtight embrace.

She didn't want Alex to be alone during this time and there was no way the ice queen was going to open up to any of the guys about what she needed. Also, Olivia realized that she would feel much better if she was always at Alex's side until Donovan was caught so she could make sure the blonde was safe, always properly protected. It was a case of feeling better when she did something herself so that everything was done up to her high standards.

"I'll arrange it. You'll stay with me at my apartment tonight and we'll move to the safe house tomorrow. Okay?"

Olivia felt Alex nod against her shoulder, but decided not to let go since she didn't feel the blonde pull back. They stood like that for a while, Alex comfortable with letting her guard down and borrowing from Olivia's abundant strength, while the detective relished holding Alex in her arms like that was where the blonde belonged.


	10. Giving In

**Disclaimer:** Characters do not belong to me, they most likely belong to Dick Wolf and/or NBC/Universal. I do this for free, fun entertainment and do not mean to offend anyone.

**Rating Change/Warning:** The rating goes up for this chapter to MA. This chapter contains a sexual relationship between two women, so if you don't like it then don't read it. Fair warning people.

**A/N:** As always, thank you so much to everyone who's been reading this story and especially the ones who leave me such awesome, encouraging comments. Please have fun reading this next installment. Enjoy! (I really enjoyed writing this chapter for some reason.) **  
><strong>

**Chapter 10  
><strong>

Alex and Olivia parted ways briefly after the attorney had once again composed herself and was able to pull herself from the detective's comforting embrace. Since the ADA wanted to grab a few things from her office, Olivia asked Elliot to escort her while she talked to Cragen about protective custody. Olivia may not have been happy about Alex moving around out in the open, but Alex was insistent about keeping up with her cases even if she wouldn't be allowed back in the courtroom until this was over.

"Elliot's going to take you to your office. Just get whatever you think you'll need and then come right back here. I'll get everything set in motion for tomorrow and then we'll get you settled in at my apartment for the night," Olivia said, pushing her head next to Alex's ear and speaking softly, intimately to the blonde. She resisted the urge to place another reassuring kiss to Alex's temple as they were now in the squad room where anyone could see.

Olivia would have no problem showing the affection in front of her boss and her colleagues, but she wasn't sure how Alex would feel about it. Alex presented a stoic, controlled façade to the world and Olivia doubted that the ADA wanted the squad to see her as needing to accept comfort from anyone. Part of Alex's mystique was that she seemed unflappable in the courtroom where she put rapists and child molesters away while seemingly being unaffected by the criminals' stares of hatred.

Alex felt a small sense of sadness welling up inside of her at the thought of leaving Olivia's side, but she pushed it down and focused on what she needed to do. Her detective would be safe in the precinct surrounded by other cops and it wouldn't take her long to gather the files she wanted to work on while she was going to be on yet another forced leave of absence. She would be back at Olivia's side within the hour and then they could figure out what they were going to do until their protection was set up tomorrow.

As soon as she got back to the squad room, Alex's eyes instantly zeroed in on Olivia. It hadn't been difficult to find her, almost as if Alex now had a direct link to the detective. She could feel that there was something different between them now and it was strange but incredibly comforting. Alex had always been physically aware of Olivia; her body never letting her forget when the detective was in the same room. That still hadn't changed, Alex still recognized the quickening of her body at the sight of Olivia, but there was also something deeper than that instant attraction now.

Alex had never allowed another person to see her in as vulnerable a state as Olivia had just seen her less than an hour ago. It was that emotional connection that the attorney had lacked, had purposely avoided, in the past. And she would've thought that being so open with Olivia would be difficult or uncomfortable for her, but Alex actually found that she liked how exposed it made her feel when her detective was the one seeing her in such a state. She wanted to share every part of herself with Olivia, even if that desire scared her.

Olivia ushered Alex into the back seat of her department vehicle when she finished going over details with Captain Cragen about which safe house to use for their stay in protective custody. She slipped in next to the blonde while Elliot took the driver's seat and Munch slid into the front passenger seat. Fin was sent home to get some rest since he'd been on guard duty outside of Alex's hospital room the night before.

The car ride was silent and left Alex free to look out the window as early evening settled over the city. She may have grown up in the upper circles of Boston high society since that was where her mother's family originated from, but New York City had become her home in the few years that she'd lived here. Alex had often explained to her overprotective mother who wanted her to stay close that Boston may have been where her heart resided, but her soul would always yearn for the excitement and freedom of New York. A smile ghosted past Alex's features as she thought she'd have to amend that saying now since she was certain her heart also resided in this city, with the woman currently sitting next to her.

At Olivia's apartment, everyone piled out of the car, which Elliot parked illegally directly in front of the building in order to have the least open distance for them to traverse before getting under cover. Alex rolled her eyes at what she considered excessive precautions, but didn't say anything since there was no way she would win that argument against three like-minded detectives.

Elliot went before them into the building, Olivia put her left hand on the blonde's back to guide Alex after him while keeping her right hand free in case she needed to draw her weapon, and Munch brought up the rear. Again, Alex would have laughed at the ridiculousness of it all if she weren't aware of how much it meant that they were all doing this _for her_. How much it meant that they were willing to put their _lives_ on the line for her.

Everything was fine as they reached Olivia's apartment on the fourth floor. Olivia unlocked the door before she and Elliot went in to search the apartment while Munch waited in the hall with Alex. They didn't want a repeat of what had happened at Alex's apartment with Scott Donovan already lying in wait. And Olivia obviously knew her apartment the best, so she went with Elliot to make certain that every single nook and cranny was checked thoroughly before declaring the apartment safe and allowing Alex to enter.

When everything checked out clear, Olivia walked Elliot out and escorted Alex inside. She conversed quickly with the other two detectives to reconfirm the shifts of who would be posted outside her apartment at what times. It didn't take long before she was shutting the door on her partners' retreating backs and locking it before engaging her alarm system. Her building might not be as secure as Alex's, but Olivia's apartment was certainly harder to gain entrance into without someone being notified because of the impressive alarm system that she'd insisted be installed.

Olivia helped Alex get situated; tossing the bag of clothes she'd taken from the attorney's apartment into her bedroom and telling Alex that she could put her legal stuff on the kitchen table. It was already almost six o'clock, so Olivia said she'd make dinner. She knew that Alex hadn't eaten lunch and neither had she, but Olivia was suddenly nervous and wasn't sure what else to do with herself so she made an easy escape to the kitchen.

Having Alex in her apartment wasn't new, but it was rather rare since Alex had more space at her penthouse apartment and they spent most of their time there when they did indoor activities together. The main problem that Olivia was having at the moment was that she kept thinking of the last time Alex was here. It was the night that Alex had shown up unannounced on her doorstep and made one of Olivia's long held fantasies come true, except that the attorney had been drinking and Olivia had shut down her advances before either of them did anything too damaging to take back.

Olivia was still under the impression that Alex didn't remember that night since the blonde had made no mention of it. At least that's what Olivia chose to believe rather than think that Alex had remembered and just didn't want to take her up on her offer to revisit the actions of that night. It was less painful to her heart if she still had a little bit of hope that Alex wanted her, even if it was just a tiny fraction of how much she wanted the intelligent blue-eyed woman.

Dinner was ready by a quarter to seven and they ate in relative silence at the small kitchen table with Alex's work stacked neatly to one side. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, but they both had other things on their minds that they weren't willing to share with each other. They did exchange some small talk that kept them from completely shutting each other out, but it was all superficial and insignificant enough to allow them to focus most of their attention on their separate internal thoughts.

Alex went to take a shower after they had washed the dishes together. The attorney had insisted on cleaning up since Olivia had cooked the meal, but the detective had argued that Alex was her guest and therefore wasn't allowed to do any chores. Instead of arguing over the simple task for endless minutes since neither of them were going to concede, they had agreed on the compromise of Alex washing the dishes and Olivia drying and putting them away.

Olivia was sitting on her couch twirling an empty bottle of water when Alex came back from her shower. The attorney's blonde hair was damp, leaving it a couple shades darker than it usually was but that didn't affect the urge Olivia still had to run her fingers through those silky strands, or at least take over the task of drying that hair as Alex was currently in the process of doing. Alex was looking very good to the detective in a tight black tank top that hugged her torso, showing off every the trim body that Olivia wanted to explore, and a pair of grey sweatpants that had been cut off at mid-thigh to make them into shorts.

"You really went for all my comfy clothes, did you," Alex said with a smile on her face as she walked past Olivia to sit on the cushion next to the brunette on the couch. She loved her casual clothes, but Alex was a little surprised to see nothing in her clothing bag that she would usually wear outside of her apartment. Only Olivia would know her well enough to pack her most favorite clothes to wear when she just wanted to relax, which was obviously what the detective wanted her to do.

Olivia watched as Alex settled right next to her, barely an inch separating their parallel resting arms. "I didn't see why you'd need your power suits and you kept telling me how boring you found most of your semi-formal clothes to be, even if they do serve their function."

What Olivia said was true and Alex went back to silently drying her hair while absentmindedly watching the twenty-four hour news station that the brunette had playing on the television. Alex was torn between silently berating herself for sitting so close to Olivia as to torment herself with the detective's proximity and trying to give herself a mental pep talk to work up the courage to bring up the topic of the last time she'd been at Olivia's apartment.

Before Alex could decide which side was winning the internal battle, Olivia stood up and took the damp towel that now hung limply in Alex's hands since she'd gotten as much moisture as she could out of her hair. The blonde let the towel go without a fight and slumped back against the couch, bemoaning missed chances as Olivia walked away. _For God's sake, Alexandra, stop being such a pussy_.

When Olivia came back into the living room, she handed Alex a cold can of Mountain Dew and sat down in the exact same spot that she'd recently vacated with a fresh bottle of water in hand. The attorney was overly happy by the simple fact that Olivia hadn't chosen a seat farther away from her; she liked having the detective close beside her.

Alex had already taken a couple of sips from the open can Olivia had handed her before she really registered what she was doing. "Hey, I didn't think you liked Mountain Dew," she said even though she was extremely happy that Olivia had some on hand. After spending almost two days in the hospital she could use the small caffeine jolt, and she always enjoyed the unique taste.

"I don't. When we started spending more time together outside of work I kept meaning to buy some for when you came over here. I finally remembered to pick some up last week when I was out shopping," Olivia said like it was nothing as she took another sip of her water.

It may have just seemed like a polite gesture to Olivia, but the explanation made Alex all warm and fuzzy on the inside. To Alex, the simple action of stocking her favorite beverage, one that Olivia didn't even like, for when she came to visit was like the detective welcoming Alex into her world. It was nice to know that Olivia was comfortable having her around, especially since the detective didn't often open up her life to others.

They sat close together on the couch watching the news channel, each lost in their own thoughts again until Alex pressed herself up against the detective's left side. Olivia was slouched down comfortably on the couch against one of the sofa arms, so Alex took the opportunity to cuddle into the detective's torso. They had often sat like this while watching television before, so Alex didn't feel strange about pressing up against the warm, relaxed body beside her.

Olivia's arm came around to cradle Alex closer when the attorney rested her head against the brunette's shoulder. It was usually a sign that Alex was getting tired and Olivia had no problem letting her friend use her body as a pillow. In fact, Olivia loved it when Alex snuggled up to her, even if the blonde's close proximity tended to wreak havoc on her already rampant hormones.

So Olivia thought that this time was like any other in the past where Alex would fall asleep within the next hour and then she would gently carry the blonde to bed when she had gotten her fix of Alex's trusting embrace. What Olivia did not expect was to feel the blonde turn her face into the detective's exposed neck and start to rain kisses along the smooth olive-toned column. It wasn't unheard of for Alex to kiss her neck, but the attorney had never done so while still conscious.

Alex smiled as she heard the quick intake of breath and felt the involuntary shiver race through her detective's body. She had been debating what to do with her feelings for Olivia since she'd started her shower earlier that night. When she'd decided that she should just go for it now that there was no longer the Scott Donovan secret standing between them things should have gotten easier, but instead that had just opened up a whole other world of fears for Alex.

The blonde attorney was very aware that she was highly attracted to Olivia and that the attraction reached down to a very primal, sexual nature besides being about the companionship that she also craved with Olivia. Alex was accepting of the sexual nature of her attraction, but she was also rather anxious about it because she'd never had a female lover before. She wasn't uncomfortable with Liv being a woman so much as her own inexperience with, and ignorance of, lesbian sex. And she so desperately wanted to please Olivia.

"Lex," Olivia moaned when the blonde nipped playfully at her pulse point before lavishing the spot with gentle strokes from her tongue to soothe away any lingering sting. Her hand came up from its place around Alex's shoulders and Olivia's fingers wove into the slightly damp blonde strands, not directing Alex's movements so much as letting her know that she was welcoming the attention.

Encouraged by Olivia's response, Alex positioned herself so she could straddle her detective's lap and took Olivia's mouth in a deep kiss. This reality was much better than the hazy memories she had of her drunken attempt to seduce the beautiful brunette detective. _I could do this forever_, Alex thought as she slid her tongue along the seam of Olivia's lips, asking for entrance. She couldn't suppress her moan when Olivia complied and allowed her tongue to slowly dance with Alex's.

Olivia's left hand slipped from Alex's hair and joined her right at the blonde's waist. Her hands sat there, not moving very much and certainly not trying to burrow under Alex's tank top, no matter how much they craved skin on skin contact with the blonde. Olivia had no objection to kissing Alex for however long the blonde wanted to continue, but she kept a tight rein on her other urges since she wouldn't try to coerce Alex into anything the blonde didn't want to do.

When Alex started rocking her hips into Olivia's, the detective gasped and pulled her lips away from the blonde's ravenous mouth. Alex groaned is displeasure at the loss of contact but instead of vocalizing her unhappiness she just lowered her mouth back to Olivia's throat while keeping up the steady rhythm of her hips. She smiled into her detective's neck when she heard Olivia let out a hiss of pleasure and felt the brunette's fingers dig harder into her hips.

Olivia pushed Alex's hips back and held them there so they were unable to rock against her anymore. She pulled as far away from the blonde on top of her as she could without pushing Alex off her lap, trying to get the blonde to look at her while she still had _some_ control over her body. There was nothing she wanted more at the moment then to make love with Alex, but she would stop and live with the painfully unfulfilled arousal coursing through her entire body if that wasn't the same thing that Alex wanted.

"Alex. Alex, look at me. Are you sure you want to do this? Are you sure you want to make love with me?" Olivia would have left it at just the first question, but she needed to make certain that they were both on the same page as to where this was heading. And for her, their actions of the past fifteen minutes was leading to her bedroom, to her bed, where she would love Alex until the blonde was too exhausted to move.

It was the urgency in Olivia's voice that caused Alex's stormy blue eyes open and her desire-hazed brain to actually try to process what Olivia was saying. When she finally could comprehend what her detective was asking her, Alex reached both hands out to cup Olivia's face and looked unerringly into eyes turned nearly black with undisguised raw desire. "Do you remember when you said we could revisit this when I was sober?"

At Olivia's nod of acknowledgement, Alex continued. "Well, I am completely sober and I desperately want to make love with you," Alex stated unwaveringly. It had warmed her already committed heart when Olivia had called it making love instead of just having sex, so Alex returned the sentiment, knowing that was exactly what this would be. And knowing that it would be unlike anything she had ever experienced in the past for the simple, yet unbelievably complicated fact that she loved Olivia as she had never loved any other person.

Olivia groaned in longing when the words she had so dearly wanted to hear were given to her. She pulled Alex back in for another kiss and pulled the blonde's hips as close to her own body as possible so that she wouldn't drop Alex as she surged to her feet, never once breaking the almost frantic kiss she was sharing with Alex. Olivia smiled into their kiss when she felt Alex's legs lock around her waist to keep from falling and the blonde's tiny yelp of surprise when Olivia's hands moved down to cup Alex's ass, yet another precaution against an ungraceful fall.

Even distracted by Olivia's mouth and tongue, Alex again marveled at her detective's physical strength. Alex was slight, but she was tall and therefore wasn't the lightest load to lift, yet Olivia had had no problem carrying the blonde for short distances on multiple occasions, almost always to bed as it so happened. The attorney was really thankful for that strength now since it allowed her to focus solely on kissing Olivia as deeply as possible and caressing as much of her clothed body as she could reach.

Olivia knew her apartment well enough to get them to her bedroom without running into any walls, but she had to take it slow since her brain wasn't functioning at full capacity with Alex wrapped around her and the blonde's lips trailing all over her face and neck. Her bedside lamp was already illuminating from when Alex had changed after her shower, so at least Olivia didn't have to stop to turn on a light. She wanted to be able to see every emotion that crossed Alex's face tonight as she made love to the woman who possessed her heart.

As soon as Olivia set the blonde down on her feet again, just a few feet from the bed, Alex slipped her hands along the front of the detective's shirt, pulling it from the waistband of her slacks and quickly releasing the row of small buttons before pushing the shirt from Olivia's well-developed shoulders. Alex ran her hand down a taut abdomen and felt it tremble at the exquisitely pleasurable feeling of being touch. The quiver of arousal was too much and Alex dropped quickly to one knee, nuzzling against the muscled stomach and lavishing it with kisses and tiny licks.

Olivia growled, a soft rumbling in her throat, as Alex's tongue slipped barely a centimeter below the waistband of her slacks, subconsciously seeking a more intimate connection, and pulled the blonde back up the length of her body and into another possessive kiss. Alex had always tested the detective's willpower and she _would_ lose control if the blonde was allowed to continue on her exploratory journey without Olivia's interference. And tonight Olivia needed to keep a tight hold on her control or risk ravishing Alex like an overeager, inexperienced, hormone-driven teenager. Not the way to impress a new lover, especially one that Olivia wanted to spend the rest of her life making love with.

Turnabout was fair play and Olivia began to attack Alex's neck as the blonde had done to her earlier, wrenching a groan from the attorney's graceful throat as she sucked at Alex's pulse point. _God, she tastes so sweet_. Olivia continued to lick and suck on Alex's neck, knowing she was well on her way to leaving a mark on that perfect alabaster skin and unable to stop herself as the primal, dominant side of her told her to possess Alex. Even if she had no right to do it, Olivia was marking Alex as hers.

Olivia slid her hands to Alex's waist, slipping between the top of her shorts and her tank top to run long fingers across the supple skin. The detective released a soft groan at her first touch of Alex's velvety soft skin covering the toned muscles of her abdomen. Her desire only became more inflamed when Alex whimpered and pressed her quivering body closer for more contact.

At Alex's urging, the detective took hold of the bottom of the blonde's shirt and drew it up over her torso to land in a puddle of forgotten fabric on the floor. Olivia pulled back and only half successfully stifled a groan when she saw that Alex had not put a bra back on after showering earlier. An unexpectedly intense streak of fire bolted down through Olivia's lover abdomen and settled between her legs at the sight of Alex's pink nipples already erect and begging to be touched.

Who was Olivia to deny the desire of her love's body? She gently ran her hands up Alex's sides and cupped the two small but perfect mounds. It was only after Alex moaned her approval and pressed herself eagerly into the touch that Olivia bent her head for a quick taste, wrapping her lips around one nipple and gently tugging at it with her teeth. Alex's harshly indrawn breath indicated her pleasure at such treatment and Olivia switched breasts, needing to give both all of her loving attention.

When Olivia gently bit down on Alex's distended nipples and pulled, it was as if there was a nerve of burning pleasure that led directly from Alex's breasts to her core. She tried to clamp her thighs shut to give herself the tiniest bit of relief, but Alex had never felt so aroused in all her life. The only thing that would quench that fire, satisfy Alex's hunger, was attention directly at the source.

"Liv, please," Alex pleaded in a whisper as she pushed the hand Olivia still held at her waist between her thighs. She moaned at the contact even through her shorts and soaked panties and gasped in absolute pleasure when Olivia squeezed her through the material.

"Oh my God," Alex choked out as she leaned her head against Olivia's bare shoulder for support. She couldn't stop her hips from thrusting more firmly into the detective's hand, seeking any kind of friction she could get. Never in her life had Alex been this needy for anyone's touch. Her ice queen persona had apparently also translated over into her sex life, but there was no trace of that cold woman in Olivia's bed tonight.

Olivia's own breathing was coming fast and shallow as she watched and felt Alex pump her hips into the hand cupping her intimately. She wanted to see all of Alex, so she pulled her hand away and silenced Alex's protest with a deep, tongue-tangling kiss that left them both gasping for air.

"May I?" Olivia asked in a low husky tone as her fingers teased around the inside of Alex's shorts, creating delicious fires on Alex's skin wherever her finger caressed. There was no mistaking what she was asking for and Alex immediately agreed, even trying to help before Olivia playfully slapped her hands away, wanting this joy all to herself.

Alex eagerly stepped out of the pooled material, bracing herself on Olivia's strong shoulders when her foot got caught for half a second. She felt the detective's hand trail slowly up her leg, dipping into the curve at the back of her knee on its way up from the floor. It was a relief when Olivia didn't torment her with almost there touches and instead again fondled her through her soaked panties.

They both moaned at the contact. Alex from the sensations sparking through her body and especially through her core at Olivia's firm touch. And Olivia at the amount of moisture she could already feel through the drenched underwear that still clung to Alex's hips.

When Alex spread her thighs farther apart in invitation, Olivia wasn't thinking slow seduction anymore and she pushed her hand into the top of Alex's panties. She moved her hand down until it slicked through the blonde's wetness, barely brushing Alex's clit as she stroked her fingers exploring through the blonde's wet folds.

"You're so wet, baby," Olivia said with a groan, stating the obvious. A louder groan was pulled from deep in Olivia's chest when just that simple statement caused another pulse of silky liquid to be released onto her caressing hand.

Alex buried her head in the detective's muscular shoulder, trying to hide her embarrassment at being so easily turned on by the woman standing in front of her. Her embarrassment didn't last long because Olivia once again slid her fingers the length of the blonde's slit and Alex's need for release trumped everything, rushing to the forefront of her mind again.

"Take them off," Alex growled against Olivia's shoulder as she bit down perhaps a little harder than was necessary. She did soothe the bite with her lips and tongue after Olivia drew in a sharp breath, from pain or pleasure Alex wasn't sure but the two feelings were so closely linked right now that it almost didn't matter.

Olivia withdrew her hand from the heaven between Alex's thighs and slid the ruined panties down the blonde's long legs. She imagined having those toned legs wrapped around her waist as she rocked on top of the blonde, but pushed that fantasy aside to try later. This first time would be all about Alex and Olivia would devote herself to finding every sensitive spot that her love had, even finding the ones that Alex herself didn't know about yet.

When Alex was completely naked, Olivia took a step back and looked her fill until she could sense the blonde's nervousness with being on display. She had absolutely nothing to be worried about as Alex was as flawlessly perfect to Olivia as she had always been. Olivia gently kissed her before pushing Alex back onto the bed.

While Alex watched from her reclined position on the bed, Olivia stripped out of the rest of her clothes. She could see the pleasure in those darkened blue orbs as each new inch of olive skin was revealed to her and made a mental note to do a striptease for Alex sometime when they both weren't so desperately in need of release. Olivia was confident of her body since she kept in great physical shape, and the further darkening of Alex's eyes as the blonde slowly appraised her completely naked body gave the detective another ego boost, as well as shooting bolts of intense arousal down to her already dripping sex.

After Alex had looked at her thoroughly, Olivia crawled onto the bed, holding herself on strong arms directly over the blonde before slowly lowering the bottom half of her body onto Alex. Although she didn't plan on making love to Alex like this right now, Olivia couldn't deny herself a teasing second of the sensation as their engorged clits slid against each other just once before the detective pulled away to lie at Alex's side.

Olivia kissed Alex again, effectively cutting off the blonde's attempt to complain about Olivia pulling back, and grounded them in a deeper connection than just the powerful physical release their bodies were going to achieve. She drew her hand from Alex's cheek down her chest, gently tweaking her left nipple before continuing downwards to caress the soft abdomen and then move even lower to Alex's very center. Olivia ran her fingers through the soft strip of tamed hair covering Alex's sex, giving an experimental tug and doing it a second time when the blonde's hips jerked in pleasure at the unexpected playfulness and the sensation of minimal pain.

Deft fingers glided through copious wetness and alternated between stimulating Alex's opening and teasing her clitoris mercilessly. Whenever Alex's hips jerked up for a firmer touch, Olivia would pull back with a smile on her lips, not breaking contact but not giving the blonde the touch she desired either.

It took Alex a couple of minutes to understand that as Olivia was sliding her fingers around the muscles at Alex's opening, she was also asking for permission to enter since she wasn't sure what kind of touch the attorney was comfortable with. Embarrassment welled up inside of Alex briefly when she realized she'd have to express her desires verbally, not something she was comfortable doing but she absolutely trusted Olivia and she craved the release that her detective would give her more than anything right now. "Inside me, Liv. Please," Alex said breathlessly as she thrust her hips up towards the testing digits.

The spark of desire in Olivia's eyes ignited into uncontrollable flames at Alex's few words and she rewarded the attorney with a long, slow thrust into Alex's channel. She started off with only one finger, not knowing the tightness of Alex's body and not wanting to hurt the woman she loved. Alex was tight, but with how wet she was, Alex could certainly take another finger.

"More?" Olivia asked gravelly as she positioned another of her fingers at Alex's entrance so that the blonde would understand the question. It was an offer, not a demand, and the decision was all on Alex; Olivia would not tread too closely to the edge of Alex's comfort zone during their first time together.

Alex moaned loudly and nodded her head vigorously, although it was more like she was thrashing about. "Yes. Please. God, Liv," she gasped out as the second finger stretched her wider. "Faster, baby. Please." Alex could feel how close she was and desperately wanted to share this experience with Olivia. She needed to come and her detective was the only person who could give her that completion.

There was no need to tease Alex any longer when they could have a repeat performance after the blonde had recovered from her first orgasm. Olivia positioned her thumb over Alex's hard bundle of nerves so she could rub it just the way Alex needed and increased the speed and depth of her finger thrusts while also curling her fingers to contact that magical spot on Alex's inner wall. The detective also bent her head to whisper encouragement into Alex's ear, telling her how beautiful she looked, how amazingly responsive she was, and how much pleasuring the blonde was turning Olivia on.

That last bit of encouragement Olivia demonstrated after pulling her head back to watch Alex's face as she pumped her own hips against Alex, covering the outside of the attorney's thigh with her own wetness. It was that little display, along with all of the incomparable stimulation, that set Alex off. Alex cried out Olivia's name loudly as she came, her body convulsing as the powerful shockwaves rolled through her.

Olivia gently stroked her down from that incredible high, kissing all over Alex's face and neck to help calm the erratically breathing woman. There had never been a more content smile present on Olivia's lips as the one that graced her features as she looked down at Alex's exhausted form and waited for her love to piece herself back together.

* * *

><p><strong>I have the most insane work schedule for the next week. I work for the next seven days straight, so I am giving warning that the next chapter may take longer than normal to get out since I have very limited time to write at the moment. Sorry.<strong>


	11. Promising Beginnings

**Disclaimer:** Character do not belong to me, they most like belong to Dick Wolf and/or NBC/Universal. I do this for free, fun entertainment and do not mean to offend anyone.

**A/N:** Hooray, my week of 16 hours days is over! Sadly to begin all over again tomorrow, but I get wicked pay for overtime. I know this took a while, sorry. Same warning applies to this chapter as last chapter, so if you can't handle it just come back for the next chapter because this chapter is all smut and fluff. As always, thanks to everyone who reads and reviews, it keeps me motivated and gets you guys chapters faster (I'm working on two hours of sleep here so that I could get this out today). Enjoy!**  
><strong>

**Chapter 11  
><strong>

Olivia nuzzled into Alex's sweat-dampened neck, laying a soft lick on the rapidly beating pulse she found there. Her hand was still positioned between the blonde's thighs, her fingers no longer buried inside Alex's still slightly trembling body, but she hadn't yet been able to make her hand completely leave the warm cocoon. It was the innocent taste of Alex's long neck that firmly convinced Olivia to remove her pleasantly sticky hand.

Alex moaned softly, but didn't open her eyes when she felt Olivia's hand pull away from her center. Her thighs were still spread wide and she would normally press them together to limit her feeling of exposure, but found that she had no will to move even that small amount. It was not the physical exhaustion that kept Alex motionless, although she was certainly feeling a little fatigued by the impressive climax Olivia had coaxed out of her, but the even deeper emotional connection she now felt with her detective.

Olivia brought her fingers up to her mouth, the delicious flavor of Alex's neck sparking a desire in the brunette to taste the attorney in another way. The enjoyment Olivia took in licking her fingers clean she knew would not even begin to compare to a sample taken directly from the source, and she didn't think that she could deny herself that pleasure. Now that she had permission to explore Alex's body, Olivia wanted every experience she could possibly have, fulfill every long-repressed desire that Alex inspired within her.

The detective looked down at Alex and saw that the blonde still hadn't opened her beautiful blue eyes, but her breathing had calmed some. She took Alex's mouth in a gentle kiss, waiting for her to respond before pressing loving kisses down along Alex's jaw. As Olivia kissed and caressed her way down Alex's lithe body, she got the impression that the blonde thought this was a cool down instead of the warm up for another round. Her wonderful Lex would realize the truth soon enough.

Olivia settled herself between the attorney's parted thighs, trying not to jostle Alex from her relaxed position too much. She kissed Alex's left thigh while gently caressing the other lightly with her fingertips, loving the tiny quivers of response that the underlying muscles gave her. Olivia inhaled, basking in the scent of desire radiating from her love's center; really just loving everything about Alex.

Placing a reverent kiss to the trimmed patch of hair above Alex's sex, Olivia gave one last look up the blonde's tightening body. The breath momentarily left the detective's body when she met Alex's blue gaze, growing darker by the second as she looked down at Olivia between her open thighs. Olivia knew that Alex could see the love shining through her eyes; the love that the detective would no longer try to shutter, no longer try to hide from the one that she loved more than anything.

The detective smiled and lowered her head, knowing that Alex was watching her with a mix of uncertainty and anticipation; and if truth be told, Olivia was turned on by the thought of Alex watching her perform this intimate act. Olivia gave a slow lick up the length of Alex's slit, savoring the unique flavor that could only be Alex and feeling both her ego and her heart swell when a fresh flood of moisture escaped Alex's core while the blonde's hips lifted involuntarily as she cried out.

Alex's eyes snapped closed and her hands fisted in the sheets as she tried to control her body's natural urge to push back against Olivia and force more pressure where she needed it most. "God, Liv," Alex couldn't help but moan at the detective's use of her wicked tongue. She was mostly able to keep her hips from bucking off the bed as Olivia resituated Alex's legs over her shoulders to expose more her lover's body to her eager mouth.

The attorney was successful in keeping her hands at her sides, not believing that pushing Olivia more forcefully into her would be proper etiquette in this situation, until the detective started giving attention to Alex's neglected clit. Alex's right hand fisted in Olivia's silky hair and her hips jerked hard. "Fuck. Oh, god," Alex cried out as her body arced into Olivia's practiced touch.

Olivia released a groan at Alex's response, never having enjoyed this intimacy as much as she did right now. She loved driving Alex to swear, loved feeling her try to resist the natural instincts of her body and then not being able to stop her movements when Olivia did something she really liked. Driving Alex insane with pleasure and causing her to lose her hold on her precious control was something Olivia was fast becoming addicted to.

Even at Alex's insistent urging Olivia kept the sweeps of her tongue light and teasing. She loved the needy noises that escaped her beautiful girl and was determined to draw as many of those sounds as she could from Alex before letting her release. Olivia didn't at all mind the hand at the back of her head that occasionally pressed her closer to the source of heaven she was worshipping. It was almost as if Alex didn't want to be so forward, but couldn't help herself when the detective hit an especially sensitive spot or used a particularly pleasurable stroke. Olivia didn't want polite Alex right now, she really liked when Alex made demands of her.

After teasing Alex mercilessly for as long as they both could take, Olivia knew it was time to stop tormenting her love. Olivia moved her tongue back down to Alex's entrance, wanting to really taste the blonde when she released. She teased the receptive muscles at the opening to Alex's sheath before thrusting inside and moving her fingers onto Alex's abandoned clitoris, knowing that it would push Alex over into climax faster.

Olivia relished everything about Alex's orgasm. She loved the way the blonde clutched at her hair and pushed her as close as possible, Alex finally unable to control in to her more primal urges no matter how embarrassed she might be about it later. It severely cutting off Olivia's ability to breath, but the detective would be happy to pass out where she was. She loved the new pulses of excitement that Alex released and she lovingly lapped them up. She especially loved the way Alex screamed her name as another intense orgasm rolled through her love's body, sending Alex into pleasurable full-body spasms.

It was only after Alex's hand had fallen limply back to her side and the most intense of her contractions had subsided that Olivia made her way back up Alex's trembling body. She laid gentle kisses along her path upwards, the contact meant to convey affection and relax the tired body beneath hers. There was nothing Olivia wanted more at the moment than to be able to do that to Alex again and again, whenever she wanted to.

Olivia curled her body around Alex when she was finally stretched out along the blonde's length, taking Alex lovingly into her arms. Her own body was begging for the release long denied it, but the peaceful contentment in her heart calmed the fire to a manageable ache. The detective placed what was supposed to be a final kiss at the corner of Alex's mouth, but was drawn into a deeper one by the blonde before she could pull away.

Alex moaned at the taste of herself on her lover's lips and tongue, never having experienced such an erotic intimacy. She repositioned herself so that she was facing Olivia instead of being cradled against her strong body, wanting to continue kissing Olivia even though her body was starting to feel the physical exhaustion that Olivia had expertly drawn from her with two magnificent orgasms. The hunger with which her detective returned her kiss kindled another fire low in her belly and Alex couldn't believe the effect Olivia had on her already completely satisfied body.

A gasp escaped Alex when her thigh slid smoothly between Olivia's and brushed up against the copious wetness at the apex. She realized that while Olivia had given her two mind-shattering orgasms, her detective had gone without, allowing Alex to be selfish. It was Olivia's guttural groan that shot a spike of desire directly to her groin and hardened Alex's resolve to get over her own fears and give the brunette the climax her body was so obviously desperate for.

Alex's fears and insecurities about not knowing how to do this took a backseat to her need to show Olivia how much she loved the beautiful detective who was always putting her first. She pushed Olivia onto her back, wanting the space and leverage to do whatever it was her body could to bring the brunette pleasure. Alex turned off her brain, something that she'd only ever been able to do around Olivia, and let her instincts take over without second-guessing her actions. The blonde was careful to support most of her weight on her left elbow since the laceration from her wrist along her forearm still hurt and her right hand was busy doing other, more important things.

Olivia arched into Alex's roaming touch as the attorney's hand glided slowly down her chest, stopping briefly to mold her breast in a loving hand and lightly tweak the nipple. The reaction to her gentle exploration almost made Alex stay to play some more, but there were so many other things she was impatient to experience with Olivia. She slid her hands lower to the detective's abdomen, loving the feel of quivering muscles under incredibly silky olive skin. Alex had always visually appreciated Olivia's muscled torso, but this tactile experience was infinitely more pleasurable and surprisingly arousing.

It wouldn't have been a hardship to spend hour upon hour exploring and caressing every ridge and shallow valley of Olivia's muscled abdomen, and maybe later she would, but the detective's whimpering and the few uncontrollable jerks of her hips convinced Alex that she could tease some other time. No experience in Alex's past could even come close to comparing to this; to how much she _loved_ touching Olivia instead of it being just a lukewarm attempt at a previous partners' request. Alex was not often the assertive one in her sexual encounters, but she would be more than happy to spend the rest of her life coaxing these pleasure-filled gasps and moans from Olivia's body.

When Alex finally slipped her hand below Olivia's waist to run her fingers through the soft strip of damp curls just above Olivia's sex, the detective couldn't prevent her hips from thrusting upwards, seeking contact where she most desired it. Alex dropped her head to the space between Olivia's neck and shoulder when an unparalleled flood of emotion crashed through her as she slid her fingers through her detective's slick folds for the first time. It felt nearly as good as when she was getting the intimate attention herself and Alex squeezed her legs together to achieve the smallest amount of relief before focusing back on Olivia.

"Yes," Olivia hissed, twisting her fingers in the sheets and begging Alex to keep going with her body. She had never been so ready or so desperate for a lover before.

Alex slicked her fingers gently through the most private part of Olivia's body, exploring what she had never desired to before. She let Olivia's cries of pleasure and the movements of the detective's body direct her actions as she focused solely on pleasuring Olivia. At this moment Olivia was her whole world and nothing outside of the brunette's wants and needs mattered to Alex.

Olivia's hips began to buck more erratically and Alex knew that she wanted something more, so the blonde slid her fingers down to tease at Olivia's opening. It was clearly what Olivia wanted as her thighs dropped open even wider to accommodate greater movement, but Alex still needed to ask permission for her own sense of honor. "May I?" she husked out before placing a soft kiss and nuzzling at the sensitive spot just below Olivia's ear.

"Please," Olivia gasped out as she grasped at Alex's back to draw her love closer. She craved as much contact as possible with Alex as the blonde finally gave her what she'd been dreaming about for years.

Alex groaned right along with Olivia when she first pushed a finger into the brunette's channel. She was in awe of how Olivia's body responded to her and was struck breathless at the incredible tight, wet heat that surrounded her and gripped at her questing digit.

"Another," Olivia pleaded after a few short strokes and it seemed as if Alex was content to just slowly play with her. The orgasms she had given Alex earlier had primed her own body well, and Olivia was more than ready to take something beyond gentle loving.

Alex heard and obeyed Olivia's request, slipping a second finger into the detective and groaning at the increased tightness. She moved at Olivia's pace, thrusting harder and deeper as the brunette demanded she do. It wasn't long before the detective was teetering on the edge and Alex experimentally rolled the pad of her thumb against Olivia's throbbing clit. The hard clenching of Olivia's inner muscles around the blonde's fingers and the spastic jerk of her hips gave Alex the confidence that it was the right move to make and to do it again.

Olivia couldn't do anything except hold on to Alex as she felt her climax drawing closer, just out of reach. Alex was perfect, thrusting hard and fast as Olivia had begged her to. And it was with a final flick across her hardened clit that Olivia reached her peak and cried out Alex's name as seemingly never-ending waves of pleasure pulsed through her.

As Olivia cried out her name, Alex's hips thrust forward onto Olivia's hard thigh, unconsciously stimulating her own orgasm. It came as a pleasant shock to Alex, who had been completely focused on Olivia and hadn't been aware of the intensity of her own body's reactions to pleasuring her detective. She couldn't prevent the ecstasy that was already coursing through her body, but Alex did control it enough to keep focused on letting Olivia down easy instead of abruptly abandoning her gentling movements.

When they both had finally stilled, Alex leaned down and drew Olivia into a deep kiss, still believing that she would never get tired of this simple act of kissing her detective. Her kiss was meant to convey all of the things that Alex wanted to say but was too afraid would be brushed off as being said in the heat of the moment. They curled together, both too tired to move much but needing the peace and comfort being physically connected to each other brought with it. Almost instantly both women fell into an exhausted, content sleep filled with dreams that no longer seemed impossible to fulfill.

* * *

><p>Alex came awake slowly with a smile firmly in place on her lips as Olivia kissed reverently up her naked back. It was very rare for Alex to wake up with anyone since she usually skipped out after any nightly activities pleading work and she never entertained at her apartment just so she wouldn't have to compromise her consummate manners by kicking anyone out. Olivia was one lover that Alex had no intention of ever walking away from.<p>

"Wake up, Alex," Olivia whispered softly in the blonde's ear when she'd made her way up the length of Alex's spine. She was pretty sure that the blonde was awake since she'd felt Alex shiver at her touch, but Olivia didn't want to rush Alex into wakefulness.

It was too tempting to touch the blonde and after last night there was no way Olivia could deny herself that pleasure. She ran her fingertips along Alex's side but apparently the blonde was extremely ticklish there, as indicated by her squirming attempts to get away, so Olivia moved her arm around to encircle Alex's waist and pulled the attorney back into her welcoming body. Olivia found herself wishing that she could wake up every morning to the perfection that was Alexandra Cabot, the one person who made her feel more of everything than anyone else ever could.

Alex slid her hand over the one that Olivia now had around her waist and turned her head back towards the detective. Olivia took the opportunity to kiss Alex good morning. She could already feel the embers in her lower abdomen igniting once again, but there was no time to make love to Alex again this morning if they wanted to be ready by the time the guys arrived to escort them to their safe house.

Olivia's mouth tasted minty fresh and Alex pulled herself away from it, knowing she wasn't nearly as hygienic this morning yet. "No fair, you already brushed your teeth." She couldn't believe that she'd brought attention to it, but the smile that spread across Olivia's face told her that the detective wasn't put off by the fact that she hadn't been awake long enough to get around to brushing her own teeth.

The detective placed one more closed mouth kiss, because that was all Alex would allow, against the blonde's lips, loving Alex even more for her unwarranted concern about Olivia's comfort. She nipped at Alex's exposed shoulder when the blonde even tried to pull away from her embrace. Alex heeded the warning and sunk back against Olivia but didn't turn towards her again.

"You shower while I get breakfast put together," Olivia mumbled against Alex's smooth shoulder, unable to force her lips from her love's flesh yet.

"You're not going to join me?" Alex said seductively, pushing her ass back into the already aroused detective's crotch. She smiled devilishly when she was rewarded with a groan and the tightening of Olivia's arms around her.

"No," Olivia finally ground out when she had suppressed the most intense waves of desire. "If I join you, we'll spend the rest of the morning making love. And while that obviously has its appeal, Elliot does have a key to my apartment and wouldn't think twice about using it if I didn't answer the door when he comes to move us to our safe house. I would rather not have my partner find me in a compromising position with our ADA, mostly because I won't share you will anyone," Olivia nearly growled out the last part.

Alex loved the possessiveness in Olivia's tone and conceded that she also didn't really want to be interrupted by Elliot; that would not be something she could ever live down. And the sight of a naked Olivia was not something she wanted to share with anyone else. So instead she watched with desire in her eyes and a somehow sexy yet lecherous grin on her face as Olivia rolled out of bed and pulled on a pair of sweats and an old faded t-shirt.

"Stop that," Olivia said forcefully as she turned back around to face a still naked Alex with barely contained desire burning in her fathomless brown orbs. "Go shower before I break my promise and fuck you again." This time Olivia had chosen to be explicit in an attempt to cool Alex's ardor, but instead she saw the heat flare even hotter in the attorney's eyes.

Olivia quickly turned and walked out of her bedroom before her resolve completely abandoned her, but filed away the information about Alex's reaction to her words to explore later. This was another first, almost running away from the woman who was naked in her bed and practically begging for another round of amazing sex.

It wasn't long before Olivia heard the shower start up and she breathed a sigh of relief. All of her plans to keep her hands off of Alex for the rest of the morning would have flown right out the window if the blonde had decided to press the issue and followed her out into the kitchen. Hey, Olivia was good at self-control but she sure as hell was no saint, particularly when it came to the blue-eyed blonde currently naked in her shower. And Olivia groaned at those mental images while trying to banish them from her mind in order to save her own sanity.

Alex came out into the kitchen wearing a comfortable pair of jeans and one of Olivia's t-shirts. She could have picked out one of her own shirts, but she liked that she could wear Olivia's clothes if she wanted to; anything to feel closer to her detective. Alex was also under the correct assumption that Olivia found it sexy when Alex borrowed her clothes, so that had playing into her wardrobe decision.

Olivia was just putting their plates on her small kitchen table when the blonde walked in. She set the plates down and turned to face Alex, not expecting that the attorney had moved directly behind her so she could immediately draw Olivia into a fiery kiss. Olivia couldn't think, could only respond by giving back as good as she got and hope that Alex could stop before they wound up back in bed, or maybe just on the kitchen counter. At the moment Olivia wouldn't be too picky.

Alex pulled back after thoroughly ravishing Olivia's mouth and smiled at the dazed expression on the detective's face. "Now _that_ was a good morning kiss," she said before walking by Olivia's raggedly breathing body and taking a seat in front of her plate. She wasn't stunned like Olivia was, but Alex was acting unaffected when in fact her body was also on fire and what she really wanted to do was make love with Olivia again.

"Jesus, Alex, you don't play fair," Olivia said when she could finally speak again. It came out almost as a whine and Olivia couldn't believe how Alex continued to make her feel and act like no one else could. She sat down at her own place and pouted as she ate her breakfast, shifting uncomfortably a few times to try to ease the pleasant but inconvenient ache that had settled between her legs at Alex's teasing kiss.

Alex just laughed at Olivia's antics and continued to eat the scrambled eggs and hash browns that the brunette had prepared for breakfast. She felt no sympathy for the detective as Olivia had left her feeling decidedly aroused after saying that she wanted to fuck her right before walking out the door and leaving Alex to squirm from her unfulfilled desire.

Olivia was just about ready to take her own shower, still pouting a little bit over Alex teasing her when she knew they were pressed for time, when someone rapped on her apartment door. Alex made a move to answer it since she was closer, but Olivia grabbed her around the waist, avoiding her injured left arm, and pulled her away. She grabbed her gun and looked out the security eyehole before relaxing and letting Elliot in.

Elliot stayed out in the living room with Alex while Olivia took a quick shower, not needing as much time as Alex since she had much less hair to deal with. It was a surprise however, when she returned to her room to find Alex sitting on her bed. Not an unpleasant surprise, but Olivia was a little leery since her partner was just a room away and she was having problems with her self-control around Alex.

Without a word, Alex stood up and walked over to the towel-clad detective, pulling her in for another torturous kiss. "That's got to last me for the next couple of hours," Alex said when she pulled back as her only explanation before she started to walk out of the room. The kiss wasn't really meant to be a tease, but that's what it ended up being, for both of them and not just Olivia.

Olivia grabbed Alex before she could escape and pulled her back. This time she kissed Alex on her terms and didn't stop until the blonde was moaning softly into her mouth. "When we're alone again, I promise you're going to pay for all of your teasing, Alexandra," Olivia whispered into Alex's ear. She felt the blonde shiver against her at the huskily made threat before pushing Alex towards the door so she wouldn't start fulfilling that promise now.

* * *

><p>For three days they had been trapped in their new protected prison and while under normal circumstances both of them would be crawling up the walls from the confinement and begging to get out, this time there were no such complaints. Except for being required to don clothes once a day for a face-to-face with whoever was watching over them at the time, Alex and Olivia spend their time primarily in bed.<p>

On their fourth afternoon in their locked down apartment, Alex finally sat alone on the sofa taking notes on the file she was reading. She was wearing one of Olivia's old NYPD t-shirts and a pair of shorts that she'd thrown on after her shower since making love with her detective that morning. They had decided on taking separate showers so they'd at least have a little reprieve from the sex marathon they both seemed unable to stop. It was now Olivia's turn under the soothing spray, so Alex had decided to get a little bit of work done before the detective could tempt her back into bed, not that it would take much more than a look at this point. Alex was so far gone that there was nothing she wouldn't do for Olivia.

The detective's entrance into the living room was silent and Alex, who'd become almost creepily attuned to Olivia's every thought and movement over the past few days, was so engrossed in her work that she didn't sense the brunette until Olivia slid a hand slowly down her torso while standing behind the blonde. Alex moaned softly as Olivia's head dipped and she kissed the blonde's neck while running her hand over Alex's eager breasts. Olivia had learned just how Alex preferred to be touched in the past few days and was enjoying expanding her knowledge base on the subject; _really_ enjoying it.

Kisses on her neck were nice, but Alex turned her head to direct Olivia to her lips instead, wanting that intense, intimate connection with her lover. Olivia happily acquiesced and slipped her tongue into Alex's mouth, relishing the groan that the blonde released at the desired contact. The detective deepened the kiss and slid her hand further down the attorney's torso to caress her abdomen before cupping her hand over Alex's mound.

A loud moan was expelled from Alex's throat and she pulled her mouth from Olivia's. "Have you always been so insatiable?" Alex husked, bucking into Olivia's touch. She had gotten much more comfortable with her responses to Olivia in the past few days, particularly after Olivia had made it clear that the more she responded the more aroused her detective became.

"Only with you," Olivia said as she once again captured Alex's lips. It was true; everything with Alex felt like a new experience and she knew she could never get enough of her.

"Nice line," Alex said with a smile when Olivia finally released her to let them catch their breaths.

Olivia drew back to look into Alex's beautiful blue eyes, which were beginning to darken with desire, a look that Olivia was still amazed that she could bring out in Alex. "It's not a line, Lex. I've never wanted anyone as much as I want you. Never wanted anyone in the same way that I want you."

An unpleasant thought took up residence in her head and Olivia drew her hand back to rest on Alex's waist instead of cupping her intimately. "Is it too much? I can try to rein myself in if it's becoming uncomfortable for you. I'm sorry, Lex. I should have realized you needed break."

Alex slid her fingers into Olivia's short, silky hair, still damp from her recent shower, and prevented the brunette from pulling back any further. "Stop, baby, I'm fine. You don't have to temper your sex drive around me, Liv. Well, maybe in eight or nine decade. But until then, I kind of like you all hot and horny." She pulled her lover's mouth back to her own, needing to reassure Olivia that she wasn't uncomfortable with, nor was she too sore from, the amount of sex they were having.

"Lex, I hate to break it to you, but I'll probably be dead in eighty or ninety years," Olivia teased since Alex's words had their desired effect and she was reassured.

"Mmm, that sounds about right. I think you're going to have to be dead before I find you undesirable. Sorry, I just don't go for necrophilia," Alex teased back, although she was perfectly serious about always believing she'd find Olivia desirable.

Olivia dipped her head for another kiss, her heart soaring at the prospect of being with Alex for the rest of their lives. There was nothing Olivia would ever want as much as Alex and the attorney had just given her the hope that she could obtain that dream of forever. Alex had always meant a lot to her, but she was fast becoming the only thing that mattered besides the job, probably even more than the job that had defined her for so long.

The detective pulled back and moved around the couch, taking the notepad and file folder from Alex's lap and placing them neatly on the floor, knowing the OCD attorney would be distracted if her work were just tossed haphazardly around. Olivia kissed Alex deeply before dropping to her knees on the floor between the attorney's accommodatingly spread legs. She looked up into Alex's eyes, making sure that the blonde knew the truth behind her next words. "I love you, Alex."

A slow smile spread across Alex's face and she pulled Olivia back to her lips. "Well, damn, now I can't say it back without you wondering if it was coerced. But believe me, Olivia, I do love you."

Olivia did believe Alex, knowing that the attorney had no problem disappointing someone and was not in the habit of lying. It didn't hurt that Olivia had felt Alex's love encompass her every time they'd made love in the past four days. She'd actually been trying to coax that declaration out of Alex for a couple of days, not wanting to be the one to lay everything on the line first. But saying the words first hadn't been nearly as difficult as she'd imagined it would be.

It wasn't long before Alex was once again naked and Olivia had taken up a position in her favorite spot between Alex's lightly quaking thighs. Olivia used all of the skills that she would forevermore only allow Alex to benefit from to bring the beautiful, intelligent blonde to another earth-shattering climax. Her boundless love for Alex was the only thing that filled her heart and mind as she brought the blonde down from her amazing high.

"I love you," she whispered into the following calm as she held Alex's trembling body in the aftermath.


	12. Only You

**Disclaimer:** Characters do not belong to me, they most likely belong to Dick Wolf and/or NBC/Universal. I do this for free, fun entertainment and do not mean to offend anyone.

**A/N:** I know it's been like two weeks and I'm really sorry. I hope you forgive me as I was debating how to set up the next part of this story. As always, thank you to all who read and especially to those who review. Until next time please enjoy this chapter.**  
><strong>

**Chapter 12  
><strong>

Alex felt absolute contentment relax her every muscle as she held a sleeping Olivia against her body. Olivia was stretched out on the couch with her upper torso pressed tightly against the attorney. Just Olivia's presence had always been enough to calm Alex when they were handling a tough case, but a new sense of pure happiness now flooded Alex's being.

Looking down at the top of Olivia's head now, Alex wondered how she had denied herself this for so long. She ran her fingers gently through the soft brown locks, trying not to wake up the tired detective. Alex inhaled the clean scent of Olivia's hair and placed a loving kiss against her scalp. There was nowhere else she would rather be and Alex knew that feeling wasn't going to change.

Olivia came awake to the feel of Alex's fingers teasing lovingly through her hair and Alex's unique scent surrounding her. She had never been one to enjoy cuddling, and had often resented it when her former lovers had roped her into it, but Olivia craved this closeness with Alex. And it wasn't just because Alex so obviously loved being this close that Olivia liked it as well, but Alex's pleasure did increase her own.

The detective stretched out her legs, groaning at the pull in her tired muscles. Even though she hadn't been out on a run or to the gym in the past several weeks since the start of their protective custody, Olivia had still managed to give her muscles quite the workout. Olivia quickly steered her mind away from such thoughts before she lost control and couldn't stop herself from taking Alex again. Not that Alex had uttered a single complaint as of yet.

"Welcome back, Liv," Alex said softly next to Olivia's ear. The hand that she had wrapped around Olivia's waist gently stroked the strip of toned abdomen that was exposed from when the detective had stretched. Alex wasn't trying to rile up her lover, but she couldn't stop her fingers from seeking out that silky skin covering sleek muscles. She had a new appreciation of the tethered strength of Olivia's body.

Olivia slipped her hand over Alex's to stop her movements, threading their fingers together tightly. She could feel moisture beginning to slick across her thighs, the wetness that always accompanied Alex's enjoyment of stroking her lower belly. But Olivia was content to just accept the igniting fire instead of trying to assuage it. She loved Alex and had no need to fuck the blonde whenever the urge overtook her; she could savor the sensations of wanting Alex.

The detective tipped her head back and invited a kiss from Alex, which the attorney happily agreed to. Their kiss was slow and sweet, neither wishing to rush when they knew there was no time constraint on their new relationship. Forever was a foregone conclusion in both of their minds.

"Hey," Olivia said when they finally drew apart. She loved hearing Alex's quick breathing that was as much from arousal as it was from lack of breath. And Olivia loved the few seconds when desire clouded Alex's beautiful blue eyes before they cleared but left her with dilated pupils and eyes that continued to darken.

"Hey," Alex said back when she could speak again and her eyes focused on Olivia's caring brown ones. She didn't miss the subtle desire that flickered through her detective's eyes at the husky quality of her voice that she couldn't control. A slow smile spread across the blonde's face at the power that coursed through her at her ability to turn Olivia on so easily.

"You're perfect," Olivia was compelled to say as she lost herself in everything that was Alexandra Cabot; a place that she was happy to be lost in. She had never felt so connected to another person, so immersed in another person, as she raised her hand to run her fingertips gently over Alex's cheek and neck.

"I love you," Alex said as she let Olivia take whatever she wanted. The attorney took the opportunity afforded her by Olivia's distraction to again play with the bare skin above the waistband of Olivia's pants. It was almost like a compulsion to touch Olivia whenever she could and Alex had no intention of stifling that urge, especially now that she'd been given permission to touch.

Olivia shivered into the caress, her muscles clenching involuntarily. "God, Lex. How do you always do this to me?" The detective again covered Alex's searching hand with her own to stop the arousing touch.

"I guess I'm just your type," Alex said teasingly with a smile as she placed another kiss on the top of Olivia's head. She stilled her hand because even though she loved teasing Olivia, it seemed as if her detective was determined to deny herself any physical pleasure for now.

"I don't know about that, but you're certainly my _only_ now," Olivia said as she settled deeper against Alex and tried to regain control of her desire. She just wanted to have a conversation with her love right now, even if her body didn't feel like spending the time talking.

"Really?" Alex questioned, her curiosity peaked. They had discussed many things since Olivia had taken care of her so many months ago, at least it seemed like a long time ago, but they'd never had a reason to discuss their taste in the people they had previously dated. Alex wasn't worried about measuring up to anyone in Olivia's past, but she was interested in what type of person attracted such a strong-willed woman.

"Absolutely, Lex. No one has ever compared with you and I'm no longer looking so no one ever will."

Alex thought it was cute how Olivia's first instinct was to reassure her. "I meant what was your type before? I know I'm the only one now," she mumbled lovingly against Olivia's neck.

"You really want to know?" Olivia asked, looking up into Alex's clear blue eyes to see what was motivating this line of questioning. Alex's body wasn't tense, so Olivia didn't think that she was concerned about how her answer might differ from the attributes that Alex had.

At Alex's nod of affirmation, Olivia turned her head back around and thought about her answer. "I've never really thought about it, just gone after whoever felt right, whoever I felt attracted to."

"So I didn't feel right?" Alex teased, wanting to keep their conversation as light as she could. "I mean, you certainly never tried to pursue me."

Olivia squeezed Alex's hand, even though she knew that Alex wasn't accusing her of anything. "You felt perfect, Alex. And I was afraid to ruin something that I knew could be so good. Plus, I didn't ever mix business with pleasure before your irresistible self came into my life."

"You feel perfect to me, too," Alex said softly, bringing her fingers back to tangle in Olivia's short hair. It was an action that always reaffirmed their connection and soothed both of them.

"I was usually physically attracted to dark featured women, dark hair, dark eyes, but the personality is what kept me interested. I've always wanted someone who was as strong-willed as I am, independent but not emotionally closed off, and intelligent. If I can't hold a conversation of substance with someone, I'm not going to be able to handle a relationship with them. I've always wanted someone that I could connect with outside of the bedroom as well as in it."

"Not physically attracted to blonde-haired, blue-eyed women, huh, detective?" Olivia's statements didn't bother Alex because she had gathered a mountain of evidence over the past several weeks that irrefutably supported the fact that Olivia found her very physically appealing.

"I guess I didn't know what I was missing," Olivia said as she caressed Alex's thigh. "But you certainly have all of the mental attributes that will keep me around for a while."

"I'm hoping forever," Alex whispered in her ear before placing a kiss on the sensitive spot just below.

Olivia felt her body shudder at the contact and enjoyed the fact that Alex had complete control over her body. She had never allowed anyone else the control over her that Alex had, but Alex returned the favor by allowing Olivia the same dominion over her body.

"What about you?" Olivia asked when she had settled down again. "What was your type?"

Alex's body stiffened and she had to consciously relax because Olivia could undoubtedly feel the tension radiating through her. With all that they had shared in the last month, really the last few months since Olivia had insisted on caring for her after the biking accident, Alex couldn't even contemplate lying. "You," she said softly, knowing that Olivia would question her answer.

"Well, obviously me, but what about before me?" Olivia had answered the question and she was now just as interested in how she compared to Alex's dream girl.

Alex swallowed a lump in her throat, praying Olivia wouldn't be angry with her when she revealed the truth, and held the detective closer. "There were no women before you. Just you, Olivia." She couldn't force her voice to go above a whisper, but she knew that Olivia heard every word.

Olivia sat up and turned so she was facing Alex, the teasing lightness of their conversation no longer present. Alex let Olivia go when she pulled away, acutely feeling the loss of warmth and their physical connection, and looked steadfastly at her detective while she searched her eyes for the true meaning of her words. "Just me?" Olivia asked, wanted to gauge Alex's reaction while she was looking at her this time.

"Only you," Alex said, desperately searching the beautiful brown eyes that had always comforted her before. She waited for her revelation to truly sink in and prayed that Olivia didn't come to the false conclusion that she was purposely trying to hide this from her. It just wasn't something that she'd ever known how to bring up in conversation before.

As Alex's words and their meaning finally sunk in, Olivia wasn't sure how she was supposed to react, or even how she wanted to react. It was a little disconcerting that Alex hadn't told her that she'd never had a female lover before, especially with how close they'd become, but Olivia wasn't sure that it really mattered. She wished that Alex had told her, but Olivia didn't know if it would have made her do anything differently.

Out of every feeling that was rapidly flashing through her system, a sort of proud possessiveness became the dominant emotion. She knew that no one had ever touched Alex the way that she did and she was proud to be Alex's first female lover. The possessive part of Olivia immediately corrected that thought to being Alex's _only_ female lover and then to just being Alex's _only lover_. No one who ever came before mattered for either of them anymore. For the rest of their lives, Olivia was determined to be all that Alex would ever need, in every aspect of her life.

"Well, I certainly couldn't tell," Olivia said with a gentle smile spreading across her lips as she cupped Alex's cheek.

Alex released a sigh of relief as she pushed deeper into Olivia's comforting touch. Olivia had also unknowingly soothed Alex's unspoken fear that she hadn't known what she was doing when making love to Olivia. It was an unfounded fear as Olivia had never said anything discouraging to Alex, nor had she ever been unsatisfied or displeased by anything Alex had done; in fact the opposite was true.

"Thank you," Alex said, those words encompassing so many things. Olivia had an uncanny ability to say or do just what Alex needed and she was grateful for that intense connection between them.

Alex slid her own hand through Olivia's hair until it was positioned at the back of the detective's head and pulled Olivia towards her. The detective came willingly and Alex captured her lips in a heated kiss, no longer interested in playing the teasing game they had enjoyed earlier. And as soon as their lips touched, Alex was lost in the immersive experience that being with Olivia always was.

Olivia broke their kiss and abruptly stood up. She pulled Alex up with her and began to lead the blonde to their bedroom, the desire in her blazing hot enough to ignite Alex as well. Olivia was done denying herself the pleasure that Alex always brought to her body, the pleasure that Alex always brought to her heart.

If Alex had put up even the slightest bit of unconscious resistance, Olivia would have gone back to cuddling on the couch, but Alex wanted this as much as she did. Olivia believed that they would always be on the same wavelength when it came to this.

* * *

><p>As nice as it was to truly be in their own little world where they could focus solely on each other and have very little interaction with anyone else, they both missed their work. There had been no word on Scott Donovan for the almost four weeks they'd been sequestered away out of sight of the murderer. No progress had been made on locating the man either and Olivia was itching to help out with the search.<p>

They were relaxing together on the couch, Alex sitting comfortably against the back of the couch reading another book, of which she'd already finished five others since the beginning of their self-imposed imprisonment, and Olivia laying lengthwise with her head in Alex's lap. Olivia was trying to work on some Sudoku puzzles to help pass the time, but Alex's fingers running through her hair was distracting her and making her sleepy. This was becoming a more common scene during the past week or so as they spent a little more time with their clothes on.

A soft knock at the apartment door instantly drove all thoughts of sleep from Olivia's mind as she pulled herself up into a seated position. In all likelihood it would be Elliot, or Fin, or Munch, just checking in for a face-to-face status update and imparting the frustrating news that there was still now sign of Scott Donovan, but Olivia wouldn't take any chances when Alex's safety hung in the balance.

Olivia pushed silently to her feet as she slid the puzzle book onto the end table next to her gun. She picked up said weapon and eased it out of the holster as she crept cautiously towards the door. While there had been no incidences in the past month, Olivia was still programmed to keep her weapon close at hand so that she would be able to protect Alex if a threat did arise.

Alex marked her place, using a piece of scrap paper as her bookmark; she hated when people folded the corner of the page to keep their place as it just ruined the perfect, pristine paper. She got up from the couch without Olivia having to ask her and walked back towards their bedroom where there would be no sightline of her from the door. They'd argued about the extra precaution before but Alex had conceded when she'd seen the underlying fear for her safety in Olivia's eyes.

Olivia waited until Alex was out of sight before looking through the security eyehole to see who was outside. As she'd figured it was just Elliot and Olivia opened the door, but left the safety chain in place. Once she saw that Elliot was indeed alone, Olivia closed the door to disengage all the locks and allow Elliot entry. As she was opening the locks, Olivia called across the apartment to let Alex know it was just Elliot so she could join them in the living room, for their unofficial meeting.

The female detective closed the door behind Elliot and reengaged the locks, not one to take safety for granted even with two NYPD detectives close enough to protect Alex. Olivia walked further into the apartment and re-holstered her weapon as Alex came out of the bedroom to stand by her side. They usually listened to the progress, or often lack thereof, of the case together as they were both affected.

"What's the news, Elliot?" Olivia asked when her partner was standing across from her and Alex in their standard meeting positions.

"Still no news," Elliot said, exasperated. The waiting game was not his strong suit because he'd always considered himself a man of action. He especially hated that there was a threat to his partner and their ADA and he couldn't track down the man responsible.

"Well, we can't stay in hiding forever," Olivia said, gesturing to herself and Alex. "It's taking manpower away from our cases since either you, Munch, or Fin are always watching over us and we don't even know if it's necessary. We have no idea if Donovan is in the area anymore or even if he has an interest in sticking around to wait us out."

"I know, but we'd all rather you two stay safe and out of sight then something happen again." He'd seen the effects that Alex's hospital stay had on Olivia and he was hoping that none of them would have to experience that again anytime soon.

Alex cleared her throat to get both detectives to focus on her. They were not purposely trying to keep her out of the conversation, but they had been working together for years and knew how each other thought, so much of their communication was nonverbal. Sometimes it was almost like they shared the same brain, and yet they achieved different emotions and conclusions. It was a partnership where they accepted that they wouldn't always see things the same way.

"I have an idea," Alex said to get their attention. She only continued when both Elliot and Olivia were looking at her. "Bring Huang in to do a profile on Donovan. Specifically have him look at how Donovan would likely react when his chosen prey goes to ground. If he thinks that Donovan would just move on then Liv and I will go back to work and if he doesn't then I'll hire a security company to keep tabs on us so you guys can go back to focusing on your cases full time."

Elliot diverted his attention to Olivia, waiting to hear what she thought of the idea. He could see the danger in trying to project what Donovan would do, particularly if Huang believed that Donovan had moved on and was wrong. But Elliot knew that Olivia was primarily concerned with Alex's safety, and she wouldn't let anything happen to their ADA.

Olivia was milling over the suggestion in her mind and she was also aware of the possible consequences if Huang wasn't able to make the correct profile. "Do it," she said to Elliot. "Give Huang access to all of our information on Scott Donovan and ask him to predict what he'd do if Alex wasn't available."

Elliot nodded his consent and walked to the door. He waited for Olivia to follow before he opened it, not wanting the apartment to be open for any longer than necessary. "I'll pass along your request as soon as I get to the car and get Huang working on that as soon as possible."

"Thank you." Olivia shut and locked the door behind her partner.

Even if Huang thought Donovan would move on to easier prey, Olivia wouldn't let Alex go unguarded. Huang was likely to have at least some worthwhile insight into Scott Donovan's movements and Olivia wanted to know what they were even if she wasn't going to put one hundred percent stock in what he said. It had taken a little while, but Olivia now respected the psychiatrist's craft.

When Olivia turned away from the door, Alex was there to draw her into a hug. "Thank you," Alex said as she molded her body to the detective's.

The urge to show affection towards Olivia whenever one of the guys showed up was almost overwhelming and somewhat surprising as Alex had never felt the need to show her possessiveness like she wanted to with Olivia. But they hadn't yet discussed sharing their relationship with anyone else, probably because they were locked away without normal everyday contact with the outside world, so it hadn't come up yet. And Alex certainly wasn't about to breach the subject when Olivia's colleagues were in the same room and she wasn't sure if her lover was comfortable sharing that personal information.

Olivia happily returned the embrace. She would forever enjoy just holding Alex, basking in the love she knew Alex had for her and which she returned wholeheartedly. "If it gets us out of here any sooner, then it'll be worth it. As much as I love spending twenty-four hours a day with you, I know we both want to get back to work."

Alex held Olivia tighter, but had to agree with the detective. Both of them defined themselves so much by what they did that being unable to do their jobs for the past month had been difficult. They would just have to make time to be together when they were eventually able to get back to their respective jobs.

* * *

><p>It was a few days before Huang was ready to release his profile. Alex and Olivia agreed to go down to the station to listen to Huang's analysis. The breaking of their isolation served a couple of purposes. One was that they had been cooped up in the safe house for a month now with everything being delivered to them so that their exposure wasn't just limited but nonexistent.<p>

The other main purpose of seeing Huang themselves was that they were trying to bait Donovan into revealing himself if he was still in the area. If he made a move while they were still under watch then they could capture him and all of their problems would be solved. They knew that it was a long shot, but the danger wasn't particularly great and the reward would be worth it if Donovan came out of hiding.

Olivia drove them to the precinct. They took an indirect route so that it would be easier to spot a tail and Munch and Fin were following behind in an unmarked vehicle just in case Donovan did make a move. Even though Olivia didn't think there was a good possibility of Scott Donovan following them, she still wanted all of her bases covered.

Alex talked Olivia into stopping by her apartment so she could pick up some more appropriate clothes for their meeting with the FBI psychiatrist. Olivia called their change of plans in to Munch and Fin so they wouldn't think anything was wrong. Alex only had the clothes that Olivia had packed for her and that did not include any work attire. And since Olivia was dressed in black slacks and a maroon button-up shirt, Alex wanted to be dressed in something other than a ratty t-shirt and an old pair of sweatpants.

Olivia parked in front of Alex's building and then escorted her upstairs to her apartment. Alex was stopped in the lobby by Sal, who was happy to see the blonde after she'd been away for so long. Once Alex reassured him that she was doing fine and was hopefully going to be back soon, he let her and Olivia go without too much of a holdup.

It was kind of surreal to be back in her apartment building after all this time, probably because so much had changed in the time since she'd last been here. She was looking forward to seeing her apartment after Donovan's attack. Eager to replace her memories of the last time she was here with some more pleasant memories. Hopefully the cleaning crew had been able to get every trace of the last time she was there out of the apartment.

Olivia insisted on preceding Alex into the apartment. She didn't want to remind Alex of the trauma of the last time she was here, but there was no way Olivia would allow a repeat of that night. As the detective pushed the front door open, Olivia made a mental note to get an alarm system installed so that Alex would have more protection.

Alex followed close behind Olivia at the detective's request. If she'd had another officer with her then Olivia would have had Alex stay outside with him while she searched the place, but since she didn't Olivia wanted the blonde to stay close. The detective didn't believe that Scott Donovan would again attack at Alex's apartment, but she wouldn't take Alex's safety for granted.

There was no one else in the apartment and when Olivia was satisfied that they were alone, Alex was able to finally look at the repairs. She walked through the rooms, finding no trace of when Scott Donovan had terrorized her. Alex even pulled the new, pristine sheets off the bed to find that her mattress had been replaced. She would need to thank Judy for getting an excellent crew in here and ask about the bill.

"They did a good job, huh?" Olivia said from the bedroom doorway as Alex was straightening out the remade bed. She was impressed with the cleaning crew for leaving nothing that indicated what had happened here.

Alex swung around to face Olivia and instantly knew that she was the reason for her newly decorated apartment, not Judy like she'd assumed. "You had them do this?" she had to ask.

Olivia looked at Alex and just nodded her head, not knowing if it was a good thing or a bad thing that Alex was asking. She couldn't lie to her lover, but she knew how independent Alex was and wasn't sure if the attorney would be mad at her for orchestrating this without consulting her. Olivia had just wanted all reminders of that terrifying night gone and at the time she hadn't even been thinking about Alex's preferences.

Alex walked over to Olivia and as she got closer she could read the uncertainty in her gorgeous brown eyes. If she hadn't already of lost her heart to Olivia then she surely would have at that moment when the detective was unsure how she would react. Alex quickly pulled Olivia into a tight embrace to let her know that her thoughtfulness was much appreciated.

The feel of Olivia hugging her back sent a no longer unexpected frisson of awareness shooting through Alex's body. Desire was always there, bubbling just under the surface, but now that she could act on it Alex was more likely to lose control of her hold on the desire. She reached her hand up and pulled Olivia into a scorching kiss, loving that her detective immediately responded.

Olivia fell into the kiss and was helpless to do anything except follow when Alex moved backwards into the bedroom. She had to stay with Alex or risk losing the pleasure of the attorney's lips on her own. There was no stopping even when Alex fell back onto the bed, her hold on Olivia strong enough to bring the detective with her.

It wasn't until Olivia felt Alex pull her shirt from her pants and slip those delightfully wicked hands against her quivering stomach muscles that Olivia pulled back. She sat back on her knees, straddling Alex's waist, and looked down into smoldering blue eyes. "Baby, we have to go," she said, her voice cracking with unfulfilled desire.

Alex had felt the muscles in Olivia's abdomen jump excitedly under her fingers and knew that her detective wanted this as much as she did. "You don't really mean that. We have time. They'll still be there when we're done," Alex said huskily as she reached for the button at the top of Olivia's slacks.

Olivia circled Alex's wrists and pulled them away from her pants. "John and Fin will come crashing into your apartment if we take too much time up here and I do _not_ want that to happen. After we hear what Huang has to say, we can come back here and I'll be more than happy to fulfill whatever desires you have. But for right now, you need to get changed so we can go to the precinct." It was difficult to be the voice of reason when she really wanted to follow through with Alex's suggestion, but they needed to attend to business first.

"You promise?" Alex asked with a slight pout on her lips.

Olivia smiled at Alex's obvious desire to continue. It was really awesome to have a girlfriend who enjoyed sex as much as Alex did. "I promise, anything you want later tonight," Olivia said as she dipped her head to steal a quick kiss from her lover before pushing off the bed.

"I'll hold you to that," Alex grumbled as she rolled off the bed. She quickly stripped out of her t-shirt and sweatpants, chuckling a little sadistically when she heard Olivia groan at the sight of her in only her underwear. Just because they had to wait until tonight didn't mean that she couldn't tease Olivia now.

Alex gathered one of her suits from the closet and went into the adjoining bathroom to get ready. They didn't have a lot of time, so Alex didn't spend much time on her appearance besides making sure her suit was wrinkle-free. Besides, the quicker they got to this meeting, the quicker it would be over, and the faster they could come back here and Alex could have Olivia all to herself once again.

Olivia was standing at the bedroom door again when Alex came out of the bathroom. She looked up at her girlfriend and was momentarily lost in thoughts about when she found Alex more appealing, in work clothes or in comfy clothes. It was a given that she preferred the blonde without any clothes, but she had to avoid those thoughts right now so she could make it through this upcoming meeting without completely torturing herself.

The detective cleared her throat and met Alex's eyes. "Ready to go?"

Alex read the banked desire in Olivia's eyes, but knew she'd be shot down if she started to play again. "Let's make this quick," she said as she walked past Olivia with perhaps a little more swing in her hips than was absolutely necessary.

* * *

><p><strong>FYI - I don't think there are more than three or four more chapters left to this story. Just giving you guys a warning that things are drawing to a close.<strong>


	13. Fear

**Disclaimer:** Characters do not belong to me, they most likely belong to Dick Wolf and/or NBC/Universal. I do this for free, fun entertainment and do not mean to offend anyone.

**A/N:** Thank you to all the readers out there and especially to those who review. I will say "Sorry" in advance for this chapter, and you'll just have to read to figure out why. Enjoy!**  
><strong>

**Chapter 13  
><strong>

As soon as they made it to the precinct, Elliot showed them up to the less formal and more comfortable conference area that overlooked the busy floor of the special victims unit. Alex sat down in a straight hard-backed chair and watched while Olivia pulled another one over next to her. She smiled at the change in the detective's behavior since this whole ordeal had begun. Before, Olivia would never have purposely moved closer to her, eager to share the closeness that had developed between them.

When Olivia had situated herself comfortably in her chair and looked over at Alex, she had to remind herself that they were in a public place amongst colleagues that they both had to work with. She had a suspicion from the knowing smirk that played across Alex's face that the attorney had purposely donned her glasses because of the effect Olivia had once confessed they had on her. The slightly messy quality of the blonde's hair wasn't helping Olivia quell her suddenly rampant desires either.

"You're cruel," Olivia said as she leaned closer to Alex to whisper in her ear. She knew that her proximity and the warmth of her breath against Alex's neck would affect the normally stoic attorney. An answering smirk played over Olivia's lips when she felt the shudder of awareness roll through her lover.

"I'm not cruel, baby, just making sure you follow through with your promise when we get out of here," Alex said with a decidedly breathless quality to her voice. She really loved the playfulness that they seemed to bring out in each other, especially since she figured they could both use it with how seriously they took their jobs, which had pretty much been their entire lives before.

Olivia decided to sneak a quick nuzzle into Alex's neck, placing a well-aimed kiss on her pulse point before pulling back. "I haven't forgotten. Trust me, sweetheart, all you need to do to excite me is exist. I won't ever forget anything I promise you."

Alex gave her that secret smile that she only ever shared with Olivia and leaned over to kiss the detective sweetly on the lips. "I love you, Liv," she whispered in a voice cracking lightly with emotion as she lovingly caressed Olivia's cheek with her fingertips.

They had pulled apart, Olivia's hand making the only lasting contact between their bodies where it lay unseen on Alex's thigh under the table, by the time Elliot and Dr. Huang walked up the stairs and sat down opposite them. Huang asked them how they were doing, not having seen either of them before they'd gone voluntarily into protective custody because of his other commitments with the FBI.

"So, can we get back to our regular lives?" Olivia asked when they had assured him that the greatest damage done was to their brains, which had nearly atrophied from boredom. She didn't tell him that they both probably would have gone insane if they hadn't spent much of their time too focused on each other to care about anything else. That was personal and she wasn't sharing those precious memories with anyone except Alex.

Huang calmly looked at Olivia, glancing over at Alex only because he knew this conversation very much involved her as well, but he was more concerned with how the detective would react. Olivia didn't get physical with people for imparting bad news like Elliot was occasionally prone to do, but she wasn't afraid to go off on a verbal tirade. Alex tended to internalize her feelings, but at least her quite seething usually allowed a person to explain their position.

"The short answer is that I don't know," Huang said, knowing that Olivia wouldn't accept that answer. Unfortunately, it was the only answer he could give in good conscience, especially since his conclusions might have consequences on people that he worked with instead of the strangers that he usually helped. He was adept at getting inside the minds of killers, but rarely had to personally interact with victims, something that was often painful for the soul to deal with.

Olivia didn't disappoint in her reaction, bringing her hands up above the table to gesture while talking with frustration lacing her voice. "What do you mean you don't know? This is what you do, Huang. We give you all the information we have and you look for some sort of invisible psychological pattern that tells us what the perp is going to do." She was aware that she wouldn't have acted so badly if it wasn't Alex they were trying to protect.

Alex reached out a hand and placed it on Olivia's forearm, instantly ceasing her excited, almost violent movements. The touch calmed the detective enough to quiet her, but Alex could still feel the frustration roiling under the surface. Alex didn't miss the questioning look that barely registered on Huang's face at the personal contact before he became impassive again, but Alex wasn't going to stop comforting Olivia over a speculative glance.

When Olivia had settled back into her chair, albeit a little rigidly, Alex looked back to Huang and asked him to continue, certain that he had something more to say. Alex took her hand from Olivia's tense forearm and instead placed soothing caressing against her outer thigh as Huang began to speak again. She was rewarded for her ministrations soon after they began when Alex felt Olivia's body begin to relax, slowly, one muscle grouping at a time.

Alex knew that Olivia wasn't mad at anyone, except for Scott Donovan certainly since he was the one who'd put them in this position. Olivia was just concerned with their lack of progress on locating the escapee and she wasn't happy with having no direct input on the case since she'd been sequestered away in a safe house. Even though Alex knew Olivia had feelings of inadequacy about her lack of involvement in the case, she was happy to have her detective safe.

"I've looked over all the information presented to me," Huang was saying as Alex tuned back in, "but I can't tell you with any degree of certainty what he'll do in regards to Alex. The crimes that she put him away for were meticulously executed, even though his refusal to kill his rape victims only hurt him at trail. In all of those cases, the husband or boyfriend were obviously the main targets. Donovan went in to those houses planning to kill the men and the women were just another way to emotionally destroy his primary victim before physically killing him. I believe I'm correct in saying that he forced the men to watch while he raped the wife or girlfriend."

When Huang looked to her for confirmation, Alex nodded stoically, not giving away any indication of the inner turmoil she was facing. The Donovan case had been her first to involve rape victims and while it had been the catalyst for her desire to change departments, it was still the case that haunted her the most. Alex felt an unfathomable strength infuse her body when Olivia's hand covered hers on the detective's firm thigh in an attempt to comfort her.

"I believe that there would have been many more victims had Donovan possessed the patience to further stalk his victims. I'm sure that he had other intended targets that he couldn't get to and so instead moved on to more easily accessible victims. He's quite controlled and meticulous while actually committing the crime, but is more scattered and impulsive when picking his victims. Most anyone will do as long as it's a couple that will fulfill his fantasies."

Huang took a short breather and Elliot took the opportunity to interject for the first time. "So it sounds as if Donovan would move on to a more readily available victim if Alex hasn't been around. And we've turned up no information to confirm that he's even still in the area. He could have moved out of state by now, particularly since he knows we've been looking for him."

"The problem is that his pattern broke when it came to Alex. He spent little time on stalking his victims, particularly those whom he knew he wouldn't be able to get to. But Donovan has spent years, since he first knew he was going to be convicted of his crimes I'd guess, effectively stalking Alex, fixating only on her. And he knows that as an Assistant District Attorney she would never be an easy target. That is not his usual pattern and if he's committed to this vendetta he thinks he has with Alex then I doubt he'll ever stop."

Olivia subconsciously grasped Alex's hand tighter, needing to reaffirm that her love was alive and well right next to her. Alex smiled through the slightly uncomfortable grip, knowing exactly how Olivia felt. The whole point to Olivia entering protective custody with her had been to keep her most precious gift safe. Olivia was her heart and she wouldn't know what to do if something happened to her, especially if she was the cause, either directly or indirectly.

"What about Liv?" Alex asked as the thought popped into her mind and she spoke without giving herself time to filter out her familiarity with Olivia. "Why has Donovan threatened Detective Benson as well?" She could feel the stiffening of Olivia's body beside her at being addressed so formally and it actually made Alex's heart jump in excitement. If Olivia was unhappy with the cold formality then maybe she would be okay with, not publically announcing their relationship because it wasn't anyone's business, but at least not trying to hide it.

"Did he ever see you two together?" Huang asked.

"As soon as I knew Donovan was out, I cut off all my interaction with Olivia outside of the professional meetings I knew we couldn't avoid." Alex saw the female detective shoot her a loaded glance from the corner of her eye and knew that she'd be hearing about that later. "She came by my apartment the night I was attacked because I'd forgotten to cancel our standing Friday night date. But the only time he would have actually seen us in the same room was when he was trying to escape my apartment and Olivia was trying to get him to release me."

"You and the detective had been friendly outside of work before that though?" Huang asked, trying to piece together the puzzle that was Scott Donovan's twisted psyche.

"Yes, she'd taken some unexpected time off back in May and when I found out it was because she was in an accident, I stayed with her until she could move around better. Since then we have a scheduled morning run usually five days a week and we have dinner together on Friday nights. Gives us both an excuse to take a break from the job," Olivia supplied. She left out how they usually had breakfast on Saturday mornings too because it could be misconstrued, well not so much anymore, but it had been completely innocent at the time, or at least mostly innocent. "But he was incarcerated during that time so he couldn't have known we associated outside of work."

"He doesn't seem the type to have a partner but it would worry me if he knew about your personal relationship before escaping. Of course, he could just be associating you two because he hasn't seen Alex with any other women. Donovan may just be pushing a 'girlfriend' on you so that you conform to his usual pattern," Huang said, his face a mask of concentration as the others could almost see him formulate and discard theories rapidly as he worked together all the pieces of information he had access to.

"If he is treating you like his other victims, and I believe he will, then Alex is the intended target and he'll want to kill her, but he'll also want Detective Benson. He would try to conform as closely as possible to his already established pattern, so he has no intention of killing Olivia but he's obviously still a danger to her. The only thing I can suggest is to play this thing cautiously. I know that you've tried to bait him out into the open, but he's probably a little gun-shy after he was caught at Alex's apartment. Baiting him should work since he's narcissistic enough to believe he's invincible after cornering his victims, but being cut short with Alex before could be making him more cautious, especially if he now wants Olivia to play a role in his fantasy."

Alex clenched her teeth and her body was drawn painfully tight. Just as she'd feared, Olivia was only in danger because of the detective's association with her. It actually felt worse to know that now that she also knew that Olivia loved her; it was like she'd betrayed her love. She didn't deserve to have Olivia love her if this was the cost.

Olivia felt the tension in her lover's body and was pretty sure she knew what was causing it, but Alex wasn't responding to her gentling touch. In fact, Alex took her hand from where it rested on Olivia's leg, severing all physical connection between them. Knowing that she couldn't do anything about Alex's inner pain until the two men left, Olivia stood up and wished Huang and Elliot goodbye.

Huang left with a slightly distracted expression on his face, eager to figure out if any of this new information could improve his profile. All he needed was a little more time to work through different theories and decide if any of them had merit. Whereas Huang was happy to leave to think in private, Elliot looked as if he wanted to talk. It was his reading of Olivia's somewhat strained body language that convinced him to leave after the psychiatrist.

Alex was still seated when both Huang and Elliot had left, which spoke volumes about how disturbed she was because she'd never ever exchanged polite farewells with the two men. Olivia walked over to her and immediately drew Alex up into her arms, feeling those long arms automatically return the embrace. "I'm fine, sweetheart," she whispered soothingly to Alex. "I can take care of myself. And I've pretty much always got a weapon on me. He's not going to get anywhere near me without serious bodily harm."

A warm breath was exhaled against Olivia's neck and Alex wanted so badly to believe the detective. Olivia was right and she would be around other cops most of the time if they went back to their regular lives like they both wanted to. But even after all those reassurances, Alex still couldn't get rid of her feeling of uneasiness because fear was not ruled by rationale or logic, it was an affliction of the heart.

When she finally felt Alex relax, Olivia pulled back just far enough to be able to capture Alex's lips in a gentle, reassuring kiss. In this moment she wouldn't have cared if they were in the middle of the station downstairs with all of her co-workers staring at them. Alex needed her and she would always be there to give Alex anything she needed, probably anything she wanted as well.

Olivia ended the kiss and was happy when Alex pulled her closer and held her tighter. She felt Alex bury her face into the exposed neck before her and held her until she was ready to pull away. Alex had once told her that her scent always calmed the blonde, but at the time Alex had been talking about when Olivia's scent lingered in her apartment even after she was gone. She guessed that her scent must work when she was right in front of Alex as well.

"You ready to go home? We can talk about what you want to do about getting back to work when we get there," Olivia said. She wanted desperately to get back to doing her job, but would concede to spending more time with Alex in protective custody if that was what the attorney decided to do. Her new mantra was '_Anything for Alex_' and the funny thing was that she didn't even resent it.

Alex nodded, knowing that Olivia would feel it against her neck, and took one last soothing breath while she was enveloped exclusively in her love's presence. It amazed Alex how easy it was to lean on Olivia when she'd never done so with any other person. She'd never trusted anyone else to not exploit it as a weakness, but Olivia gave everything to her unconditionally. It was just one of the many things that made her love Olivia like no other.

* * *

><p>They stopped to pick up a pizza on the way back to Alex's apartment, Alex saying it was an early dinner while Olivia argued that it was actually a late lunch. After some more playful arguing they ordered a white broccoli pizza, which was Alex's choice. Olivia tried to persuade her to get a pepperoni, black olive, and mushroom pie by saying that the garlic on the white broccoli one would make her un-kissable, but Alex just countered that it wouldn't matter since they were both going to be eating it. Alex's last comment on the subject was something along the lines of there being nothing that could make her un-kissable and Olivia agreed seriously to the kidding comment.<p>

"So what do you want to do about work?" Olivia asked when they'd finished their meal and were settled on the couch for their talk. While they would normally be cuddled into each other, by unspoken agreement they had decided to have this conversation face-to-face.

"Well, I don't think either of us would cope well if we went back into protective custody. We're both going to be safe while we're at work, pretty much always surrounded by armed guards. And as long as you stay here or I stay with you at your apartment at night, I think we would agree we'll feel better. As long as neither of us is alone until this situation is finally resolved, I think it would be better for us to go back to what we love to do."

Olivia let out a mental sigh of relief. "I agree. I am going to have a talk with the guards at the courthouse. Show them a picture of Donovan just so he doesn't try to get in to see you at work. I'm fine with staying here, lots of space for the few clothes I'll need to bring over and enough room if you want some time away from me," she said with a smirk.

Alex backhanded Olivia on the shoulder at her last playful comment. "Sorry, baby, but now that you have me you're stuck with me." She leaned over and kissed Olivia, the detective returning the affection with enthusiasm. Alex hoped that they would always be like this, always so quick to show little signs of their love for each other.

When Alex would have pulled back, Olivia caught the hair at the back of her head and brought her back for more. She let the blonde go immediately afterwards, but Olivia had wanted that extra couple of seconds of intimacy. "As long as you're just as stuck with me, I think I can handle it. I love you, Alex."

A contented, gentle smile settled onto Alex's face. "I love you, Liv."

"So, while we're talking about this, why _did_ you leave me out in the cold when you knew Donovan was out? I mean, you told Munch and Fin before I found out. And it wasn't even you who told me. I had to find that bastard holding you up as a bloody shield," Olivia said, her frustration evident in her tone of voice and the way she ran a hand roughly through her already finger-tousled hair.

"I'm sorry, Liv." Alex knew that this was a sore subject with the detective and was glad that she'd finally brought it up. "I was trying to prevent what happened anyway. Donovan has always been my nightmare and I never wanted you to be exposed to him. I know that you're a cop, and a damn good one, but I was trying to protect you in the only way I knew how. I trust you with my life, but I don't trust _me_ with yours, so I couldn't let you stay around me."

Olivia gave Alex a sympathetic smile and reached out to cup her jaw, stroking a thumb over Alex's cheek. "Then just keep yourself as safe as possible because _you_ are my life now, Alex," Olivia whispered with heartbreaking sincerity. She couldn't believe she'd just said that, but being around Alex had always brought out rare emotions in her.

"You are insanely good at saying exactly what I'm feeling before I have a chance to put voice to it," Alex said. She turned into the hand resting against her cheek and kissed the palm. Alex knew that it was completely impossible for one's heart to burst from feeling too much love for someone else, but that didn't mean the classic description was any less accurate of how it felt.

And since tonight looked like it was turning into a night of truths, Alex wanted to ask something that had come up a lot lately. She took Olivia's hand from her face but kept their fingers entwined when their hands lay between their bodies, needing to keep their physical connection. "Liv, I want to ask you something about us," Alex said before taking a short pause to gather her thoughts. "How much do you want to share with everyone else?"

Olivia continued to look at her, staring into her eyes, but didn't say anything. It was almost as if she was waiting for Alex to say what she was comfortable with revealing about their relationship first, so Alex continued. "It's just really hard not to touch you when we're around other people, but I've tried not to because I wasn't sure how you felt about it. And I'm not sure if you're out."

"You can touch me all you want, though I would prefer it to not be too risqué when we're out in public and particularly at work," Olivia said with a smile. "I haven't specifically told anyone that I date women too, but I really don't care who knows. Whatever you're comfortable with is fine, but I do think we should be professional when we're both on the clock."

Olivia took a second to think and a small frown creased her face before adding, "But what about you? If I'm your first then I'm guessing you've never told anyone. Unless you knew and just weren't practicing before. And what about your career? I know you've been working towards the DA's chair."

Alex couldn't suppress her laugh at the "practicing" comment, but realized that these were Olivia's real fears that she was finally giving voice to. She grasped Olivia's hand tighter before answering. "No, I've never had to think about telling anyone, but I really love you, Liv, and have no problem with other people knowing that. As for the DA's chair, I could still get it if I want to. I mean we passed the gay marriage bill and I have faith that people would look at my qualifications and not just my personal life. And let me just say for the record, that if it ever comes down to a choice between you or my career, I'd pick you e_very_ time with absolutely no regrets."

Olivia leaned forward and pecked Alex on the lips. "It's nice to know where I rank," she said with an adorably unsure smile.

"Well, you, Detective Benson, will always rank at the top of all my lists. My best friend, my favorite detective, my best kiss," she said as she leaned in for a quick lip-lock, "my best girlfriend, as incredibly short as that list may be." A devious smile played over Alex's lips as she came up with one more list that Olivia most definitely topped. "Oh, and my absolute best orgasm, by far," she said huskily.

Olivia's gaze fired darkly as she pushed quickly to her feet and pulled Alex up with her, immediately taking Alex's lips in a passionate kiss. She knew that she was playing right into Alex's hands with her all too predictable response, but she really didn't care at the moment. Anyone would have attacked Alex with just as much vigor if they'd been the one taunted by the beautiful blonde, the woman practically insisting that Olivia make love to her again.

"Mmm, a new best kiss," Alex said when Olivia had to release the ravenous kiss. "I'm pretty sure you have at least the top hundred in that category."

"Probably, but I really want to corner the top hundred on your orgasms list, too," Olivia said with a growl as she gently bit Alex's neck before salving the bite with her tongue. She knew that she would end up marking Alex by the end of the night, but the blonde had brought it on herself with all of her merciless teasing.

"Don't sell yourself short, stud. You and I certainly haven't done much else since we disappeared from the world a month ago. I'm pretty sure you've already achieved that goal as well," Alex said as she let out a shudder that was the result of the combination of what Olivia was doing to her now and memories of all the things the talented detective had done to her over the past month.

"Then I want the top thousand," Olivia said as she backed Alex up around the sofa and towards the bedroom.

"Shouldn't take you too long," Alex said, and laughed when Olivia gave up backing her towards the bedroom slowly. The detective grabbed her hand and practically dragged her the rest of the way, not that Alex minded. More than half the reason Alex teased Olivia was to get her lover so worked up that she couldn't wait. They both _really_ liked when Olivia went all dominant in the bedroom.

* * *

><p>Their first day back to the grind, Olivia drove Alex to work and even walked the attorney to her office, although that was more for one last minute of privacy than because Alex actually needed an armed escort. This would be the first day in five weeks that they'd spend the majority of the day apart and they were both still trying to convince themselves that the other wasn't in any danger.<p>

Alex had never been so concerned about what Olivia did for a living, had never really thought about the dangers inherent in her job. She couldn't lose Olivia now that they'd finally gotten together. Alex kept telling herself that she just had to trust Olivia to know how to do her job and believe that Elliot wouldn't let anything happen to his partner. The female detective had successfully been doing her job without serious injury for years and Alex was sure she wouldn't take any unnecessary risks, especially now.

Olivia watched Alex walk behind her desk, the piece of furniture a little messier than the immaculate condition in which she'd left it in because another attorney had been using her office while she'd been on leave, and put her briefcase down. She looked at home in the familiar surroundings and Olivia didn't doubt that they'd made the right decision by getting back to their usually routine. It went against Olivia's nature to hide from a scumbag such as Donovan and she knew it had rubbed Alex the wrong way too.

The ADA came back around her desk and drew Olivia into a final embrace before they said goodbye for the day, glad that the detective had closed the door behind them so that no one could intrude on this moment. Alex didn't resist when Olivia leaned in to kiss her, craving the contact that always made her soul soar.

"Is that how you keep things professional while we're both working, Detective Benson?" Alex said softly, teasingly when their kiss ended. She said the words with her eyes closed, almost as if she believed their moment would be over as soon as she opened them and saw the real world.

"I haven't checked in at the precinct yet, so I'm still off the clock. You're just my girlfriend until I get to the 1-6, not my ADA, with whom it would be very inappropriate to make out with in her office during business hours," Olivia teased back before placing a loving kiss against Alex's hairline.

"You have my permission to be this inappropriate whenever you want to," Alex mumbled into Olivia's warm neck. She squeezed her detective once more before gently, reluctantly, extracting herself from the embrace. If she didn't distance herself while she still had some willpower then she might not ever let Olivia leave her office.

Olivia took a step back, sensing that Alex needed the space if they were ever going to separate for the day. "I'll see you at lunch. If I can't make it then I'll call, okay?"

Alex nodded her head. "I'll be here," she gestured to her office. "It'll probably take at least three days to get caught up on where most of my cases are at. I'll just be going through the files today, so you don't have to worry about me venturing outside into the big, bad world."

"Okay. See you later." Olivia turned to leave but paused with her hand on the door when she heard Alex speak up once more.

"Be safe, Liv."

Olivia turned back to her, hand still on the door but focus completely on Alex. "I will. I love you, Lex."

"I love you, too," Alex said as the soft smile that always took up residence on her lips at those words appeared yet again.

When Olivia had walked out the door, leaving it open this time, Alex turned back to the stack of files on her desk, the one that she had requested by waiting for her when she returned. She let out a sigh at the amount of work she had to catch up on, all the background information she needed to sift through and all the case law she'd need to research. As much work as she knew it was going to be, Alex was looking forward to diving back into work, using her legal expertise to get justice for wronged victims.

Back at the special victims unit, Olivia was able to dive right back into the work that brought her so much satisfaction. She was immediately assigned to a case where Elliot had been the primary investigator. He was going to talk to a person of interest, so she went along with him and listened during the car ride while he ran through his theories on the case.

And, of course, her first case back she just had to get a runner. Olivia took the lead in the chase while Elliot branched off on a side street to hopefully cut the guy off. She hadn't realized until she was huffing after the suspect how much endurance she'd lost while hiding out with Alex and them not able to take their morning runs five days a week. But the good news was that she was so pissed off at having to run after the guy that her adrenaline kicked in.

Olivia still lost sight of the suspect around a corner onto another little-used side street that was really just a glorified alley, and with no back up right behind her, she drew her weapon before rounding the corner carefully. A quick surveillance of the debris-filled street did not indicate where the perp had gone. There were too many places that he could hide, so Olivia walked down the abandoned street slowly, paying close attention to her surroundings.

She had just about made it to the end of the side street with no sign of the perp when she heard someone coming up behind her fast. _How did I miss him?_ Olivia thought as she spun around with her weapon raised. She only had time to register a heavy cylindrical object crashing quickly towards her head as she was able to fire off one shot a split second before the blow landed. Her last panicked thought before absolute blackness engulfed her was: _Donovan!_


	14. Sacrifice

****Disclaimer:** **Characters do not belong to me, they most likely belong to Dick Wolf and/or NBC/Universal. I do this for free, fun entertainment and do not mean to offend anyone.

**A/N: **This chapter is rated M. Standard warning from earlier chapters; depiction of two women in a sexual relationship. If you don't like it then don't read it, no one's forcing you to. As always, thank you to all those reading this story and and extra special thank you to the ones who review. Enjoy!**  
><strong>

**Chapter 14 – Sacrifice**

Alex had shut her door halfway through the morning, tired of the constant interruptions caused by her colleagues, many of whom she barely even knew as passing acquaintances, who kept stopping by. As touching as it was that they were all concerned, she was fine and she needed to string together at least a couple hours of solid work before Olivia came by to take her to lunch.

An unbidden smile spread across her face at just the thought of Olivia, even in the midst of reading the heinous details of one of her pending cases. She was glad that now they both had someone to turn to when their work became too hard, which it did even if both of them were often too stubborn to admit it. They both wanted to do what was best for the victims and tended to push themselves close to, and sometimes past, their limits.

Alex tried to divert her attention back to the case file open in front of her and away from the distraction of her strong, beautiful girlfriend. Thoughts of Olivia had always warmed Alex and she desperately hoped that she would never begin to associate her detective with the agonizing aspects of their respective jobs.

She wouldn't mind the pleasant distraction of her thoughts so much if she could still go home on time. Alex had always been willing to work late in the past because she didn't have anything important to get home to. Things were certainly different now since she could legitimately spend all her free time with Olivia.

The ADA was able to draw her concentration back to her case for almost another hour before there was a knock on her door. Alex looked at the clock on her desk and figured that it must be Olivia coming by to pick her up. She called for the visitor to come in and quickly finished up the paragraph she was reading and jotted down a few final notes. Alex could feel the eagerness suffuse her body with just the simple desire to look at Olivia, but if she didn't finish what she was doing first then she probably wouldn't finish at all.

She could tell as soon as the visitor entered her office that it was _not_ her detective. There was no inexplicable sensation of warmth washing over her that always accompanied Olivia's presence. Alex looked up curiously, wondering if perhaps one of her co-workers had become bold enough to intrude on her self-imposed solitude.

In her now open doorway stood Fin, looking ill at ease as he waited for Alex to give him her attention. It was a look she had seen on the SVU detective's face too often lately and Alex was immediately struck with the dreadful feeling that something was terribly wrong. The icy fist that clenched painfully around her heart told her with no uncertainty that it had something to do with Olivia and Alex had to push back the unbidden tears that prickled at the backs of her eyes.

She tried to reprimand herself for almost giving in to the uncommon emotional response that wasn't even substantiated by Fin yet, but couldn't bring herself to feel shame for her deep connection to Olivia. Alex wasn't sure if she really wanted to know if something had happened to Olivia, but she knew it was worse not to know. "What happened?" she tried to keep her voice calm, but Alex could feel the panic gripping her.

"Olivia was hurt on the job. Elliot called from the hospital and told me to bring you over," Fin said. He didn't mention that Elliot had said it was Donovan who'd attacked Olivia and that Fin had been sent over to make sure that Alex was still safe. They would've expected to hear something if Alex had unexpectedly left the building, but they also knew that Donovan wanted both Alex and Olivia to fulfill his sick fantasies.

Alex was out of her chair and rounding the desk as quickly as she could. She focused on the word choice of _hurt_ instead of _dead_ and just prayed to any and every deity that Olivia would be okay. "Let's go," Alex said as she grabbed her suit jacket from the hook by the door. She just needed to get to her love as soon as possible, see for herself that Olivia was alive. Alex would deal with her tumultuous emotions after she saw Olivia.

The ride to the hospital was nerve-wracking with Alex wringing her hands together, and seemed to take forever. Why did it only seem to take so long to get some place when she really needed to be there? Alex had never been prone to nervous behaviors, all outward expression of emotion needing to be mastered when one was a trial attorney, particularly in criminal law when defendants and even witnesses could spring unbelievable statements while on the stand.

Even though he was sure Alex wanted to kill him for it, Fin parked the car and didn't drop the attorney off at the emergency room entrance. He had been given very specific instructions to not allow Alex to go anywhere unaccompanied, even if it was just to walk a couple hundred yards into the ER waiting room. Fin loved his unit but was getting a little tired of being the errand boy who always had someone pissed at him just because he couldn't flat out say no to his team like Munch had learned to do.

Alex dashed from the car just as it stopped moving and could hear Fin swear colorfully behind her as he slammed the car into park and ran to catch up to her. She was through the emergency room doors quickly and was trying to get someone's attention at the busy nurses' station. When she saw Elliot standing in the waiting room, Alex gave up on the otherwise occupied nurses and went to ask Olivia's partner what he knew about her condition.

"Is she okay?" Alex asked, a look of pain crossing her features that she couldn't hide. She could feel fear and panic saturate her system but was almost certain that Olivia was alive. If she hadn't made it then Alex knew she would've been able to feel it, feel the completely devastating lose. Their connection had become so strong in the past several weeks that they were almost preternaturally attuned to each other. Alex was grateful for that connection, especially right now when it was telling her that Olivia was alive.

Elliot looked concerned but not overly panicked, which calmed Alex's racing mind a little. "She was hit over the head with a piece of piping and lost consciousness for a few minutes. I called an ambulance and she regained consciousness about a minute before the EMS techs arrived. Liv was yelling and trying to get up to go after the bastard as EMS was checking her out before transport," Elliot said with a small smile at the memory of Olivia's ever-present fighting spirit.

That smile did a lot to calm Alex's fears as she knew that Elliot would never be so flippant if he really thought Olivia was currently in danger, but she could still see the anxiety that crept just under the surface in Elliot's eyes. "Tell me what happened," Alex said quietly, though her tone was no less commanding for the softness of her voice.

Elliot knew this would be painful for Alex to hear since she had always been afraid that Donovan would go after Olivia, but her tone brokered no argument and it would be suicide to lie to her. "We were working on my case and I had tracked down a possible suspect. When we got to the guy's work, he ran and we gave chase. I left her to take another route to try to cut him off."

Alex did not miss how Elliot put the blame squarely on himself, and while she wanted to blame someone for what had happened to Olivia, she wouldn't put it on the man who had always done his best to protect his partner. She reached out and put her hand on his shoulder, the contact not feeling uncomfortable, as it would have in the past, because of their mutual love and affection for Olivia. They may not have had the same connection to the beautiful detective, but each relationship was intense in its own way. "It wasn't your fault," Alex tried to reassure, not just saying the words but believing them as well.

"It was. I left her on her own even knowing that Donovan was still out there." Elliot saw the firm set of Alex's jaw at the mention of Donovan's name and the immediate self-recrimination that jumped to life in her eyes. "I heard the shot and got to the alley maybe thirty seconds later. Scott Donovan was standing over her. He ran when he saw me."

Elliot saw the fresh flash of panic in Alex's eyes when he said there had been a shot and quickly continued with the story, his own pain at his actions showing in his words and on his face. "I could have taken off after him. Liv's shot grazed him. He was bleeding as he ran away and I know I could have caught up with him. I should have caught him, should have gotten him out of both your lives for good."

"You did what you should've done; you stayed with your injured partner when she couldn't defend herself. And I will forever be grateful that you made that choice, the right choice," Alex said. If Elliot had gone after Donovan and lost him, there was no guarantee that the murderer wouldn't have doubled back and done something even worse to Olivia while she was unconscious, or kidnapped her to play out his fantasy later when she was awake.

They were still standing close together with Alex's hand on Elliot's shoulder when a harried-looking doctor came out into the waiting room and asked for the family of Olivia Benson. Alex stepped up and immediately asked how Olivia was doing. Elliot identified Alex and himself to the doctor when she asked what their relationship was to Olivia, not wanting to get caught disclosing personal information to any unauthorized individuals.

"She's going to be fine, but we're going to be keeping her tonight for observation. She has a concussion, but wasn't unconscious for too long so I'm confident it will heal without any complications," the dark-haired doctor said. A somewhat sheepish expression crossed the pale doctor's face before she continued, "She is kind of a handful. Can either of you perhaps talk to her? She's been trying to leave since we brought her to her room and I won't sign the discharge papers until tomorrow. She's exceptionally strong-willed."

"You mean stubborn," Alex said, easily able to picture how much of a problem Olivia was probably being for the hospital staff. "Just show me the way and I'll make sure she behaves until you clear her to leave." Olivia may have been stubborn but she knew better than to argue with Alex when the attorney was dead set on something; Alex's determined spirit becoming more apparent since they'd become a couple. And right now Alex was set on making sure Olivia was going to be fine before she left this hospital.

The doctor got a nurse to show them to Olivia's room. When they walked in they both got a taste of what the doctor had been talking about since Olivia was trying to talk another nurse into letting her leave. She had her feet off the side of the bed and was trying to pull the IV out of her arm while keeping her modesty intact by making sure her hospital gown stayed closed. The nurse was trying to get the detective to stop yanking at the tubes and to lie back down.

"Olivia Benson, you get back in that bed and stop giving this nice woman a hard time," Alex's voice rang out through the room.

The words and tone immediately got Olivia to stop struggling with the medical paraphernalia attached to her as she looked up at her visitors with a bashful smile, aimed primarily at her unhappy girlfriend. Olivia was very familiar with Alex's lawyer voice, and truth be told the way the blonde used it to command attention tended to turn her on. The detective certainly knew not to fight Alex when she turned that tone on her, particularly when Olivia knew that she was the one in the wrong.

Alex was warmed to see the happiness flash quickly into Olivia's eyes at her presence, and pleasantly surprised to see a flash of desire that transformed into love. She couldn't stop the smile from spreading over her face when Olivia obeyed her command and reclined back onto the bed. The attorney wasted little time in walking over to the hospital bed to assess for herself that her love was okay.

Olivia got resituated on the uncomfortable hospital bed and had to wait impatiently through the nurse rechecking all the hookups she had messed with to the various machines before she could even get Alex close enough to be able to hold her hand. And as much as Olivia appreciated the concern of her teammates, who had all piled into her room to wish her well, she just wanted to be alone with Alex. At least the blonde hadn't let go of her hand or relinquished her spot by the right side of Olivia's bed.

It took Elliot nearly an hour and a half to get Munch and Fin to leave Olivia's hospital room, everyone wishing Olivia well and not questioning that Alex was staying with the injured detective. Once they were finally alone, Alex bent her head down to kiss Olivia and the detective welcomed the now familiar contact. "Mmm, it's good to see you, too, Counselor," Olivia murmured a breath away from Alex's lips before capturing the blonde's lips again.

"God, I love you, Liv," Alex said when they parted again. She ran her fingers through the soft hair that was tousled over Olivia's forehead and looked into the clear brown eyes of her love. Olivia certainly didn't seem to be suffering any more ill effects from Donovan's assault, but the guilt that constricted Alex's heart did not ease.

"I'm fine, Lex," Olivia said, holding onto the hand that Alex still had lying on the bed next to her. "I barely got a bump on the head and nothing else is broken or anything. I'm fine." She knew that she could say the reassuring words all she wanted but it would take some time for Alex to believe them, if the attorney ever believed them.

Alex smiled sadly and leaned down for another gentle kiss. "But you might not have been. It was just luck that Elliot was close enough to prevent Donovan from doing anything else. And it's because of me that you're even on Scott Donovan's radar. I love you so much, Liv. It would have killed me if anything had happened to you, especially since it would've been my fault."

"My job has always been somewhat hazardous, Alex. And you haven't put me in any more of a dangerous situation than I've gotten myself into in the past. I came through it fine then and this time will be no different. We'll both just have to be more careful now that we know Donovan's still around." Olivia paused for a beat, waiting for Alex to look at her and willing the attorney to get past her crippling guilt. "I love you, Alex, and I'm not going to leave you."

There was nothing more the attorney could think of to say, at least nothing that Olivia would listen to. She took a seat next to the bed and continued to hold Olivia's hand, both of them amazed at the innocent contact that connected them in such a deep and meaningful way. It may have seemingly taken them forever to get to this point, but everything had been worth it for what they now had together. And neither was willing to let the other go while they could still do something about it.

* * *

><p>Olivia was released the next morning after having a pretty terrible night of trying to sleep but being unable to in the uncomfortable hospital bed that was more like a thin cot then a nice, soft mattress. The only thing that had kept her from trying to skip out of the hospital once again during the night was that Alex barely left her side, leaving only once to grab them both some more appetizing food then what the hospital had to offer.<p>

Alex had put up enough of an argument that the doctor and nurses had allowed her to stay the night; that's right, no one could beat the ADA when she was arguing for something she really cared about. She had refused a sleeping cot that could have been brought into the room and instead stayed in the chair that she'd pulled close to Olivia's bed. Alex just wanted to be as close to her detective as possible without actually crawling into the narrow bed with Olivia. There was only so much inappropriate behavior that the nursing staff would put up with, and sharing a bed was a definite no.

It had been comforting to Olivia to see Alex sleeping at the side of her bed with that ethereal blonde head lying in the spot beside her. Their fingers had remained intertwined throughout the night, leading to some slight cramping in the morning, but it was well worth it. Olivia had only been able to grab a couple hours of sleep during the night, but had been content to watch Alex sleep the rest of the time while she lay awake and just bask in the attorney's presence.

When Olivia was discharged, Elliot drove both her and Alex back to the attorney's apartment. Cragen would not allow Olivia back to the precinct until she'd had at least one full day of rest to recuperate, much to Olivia's disappointment. Although the detective did suspect that Alex would've gone off on both her and Cragen if the captain had immediately let her back on active duty.

It totally sucked to not even get one full day back on the job before she was put out on medical leave. Olivia was also torn because she knew that Alex was again taking time off, this time to take care of her. She barely had a headache and didn't think she needed a babysitter, but Olivia couldn't deny that she liked the idea of Alex staying home with her. Besides the fact that she loved Alex's company, Olivia wouldn't let anything happen to the blonde while she was in her company, now that they knew for sure that Donovan hadn't moved on.

When they arrived at Alex's apartment building, Elliot escorted them upstairs and did a walkthrough of the apartment while Alex and Olivia stayed out in the hall. Elliot declared it all clear and Olivia headed straight towards Alex's bedroom and the attached master bath where she could grab a much needed shower. Olivia finally understood Alex's driving need to shower whenever she'd been released from the hospital.

There was a smile stretching across Alex's face as she watched Olivia walk towards their bedroom, grumbling about the antiseptic smell of the hospital that was clinging to her and not even waiting until the privacy of the bedroom before starting to disrobe. Alex loved that Olivia was so comfortable in her home, which she hoped Olivia would think of it as their home. However, she could have done without the quick glimpse of her lover's strong, tanned back before Olivia rounded the corner of the bedroom door.

Alex had to try to hide the desire she felt for Olivia when she turned her attention back to Elliot, who had not left after he'd swept the apartment for intruders, namely Scott Donovan. By the look that Elliot gave her, Alex seriously doubted that she was successful in hiding her passion, but it didn't particularly bother her. She wasn't ashamed to share her feelings for Olivia but she had been brought up to keep her personal life private, especially her sex life.

"Can I help you with something?" Alex asked when it became clear that Elliot wasn't leaving and he seemed to have something on his mind. She could guess what he wanted to talk to her about, but wasn't going to reassure him without his asking. The lawyer in her wouldn't let her answer any questions unless they were specifically asked of her; never give out any more information than necessary, especially if one didn't know if the person who was asking was friend or foe.

Elliot looked at where Olivia had disappeared and waited until they could both hear the water in the shower running. "I know we haven't always gotten along particularly well, but you're good for Liv. She's been happier since you two started hanging out more. And I know you're the only reason she didn't go completely insane over the past month when she wasn't working. That being said, you can't even begin to imagine the depth of pain that you will feel if you hurt her."

Ah, Elliot, always the protective older brother. Even as that protectiveness was now focused on intimidating her, Alex had to respect how much he cared for Olivia. If she hadn't been secure in her knowledge that all they felt for each other was a familial affection then Alex might have been jealous of Elliot. It also didn't hurt that she knew Olivia loved her just as much as she loved Olivia; jealousy had no foothold in their relationship.

"I understand," Alex said, her eyes never once wavering from Elliot's penetrating stare. She supposed she could have reassured him with a profession of her love for Olivia, but for the moment those words were only for her detective. He would just have to accept that she had no intention of ever hurting Olivia because it would be akin to hurting herself, and probably infinitely more painful.

Elliot turned to leave, accepting Alex's simple answer as the truth that it was. He stopped when he heard the next words spill softly from Alex's lips. "I'd like your help with something." The words were spoken in such a calm, determined way that Elliot had no choice but to stay and listen to what Alex had to say.

* * *

><p>Olivia stepped into the living room after her shower wearing a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, both of which she'd borrowed from Alex's dresser. She hadn't yet had time to stop by her apartment to pick up any of her own clothes, which she'd been planning on doing last night but had wound up in the hospital instead. Alex's comfortable clothes fit fairly well since they were nearly the same height, but the shirt was a little tight over her broader shoulders.<p>

The detective was surprised to find the living room empty and wondered where Alex had gone off to. She heard the apartment door click shut and the latching of the multiple locks a half minute before Alex strode back into the room with a warm smile for her. "Elliot just leave?" Olivia asked as Alex came over to her and kissed her soundly.

"Yeah, we were just talking about security. You should sit down," Alex said as she led Olivia in front of the sofa and pushed her down to sit on it, "while I take my own shower. Then I'll get lunch together and we can do whatever you want. Within reason," Alex added when she saw the desire immediately spark to life in Olivia's eyes.

Alex snagged the remote for the television off the coffee table and handed it to the detective. "By the way, you look hot in my clothes," Alex whispered heatedly against Olivia's lips before taking her mouth in a passionate kiss.

Olivia was just getting into it when Alex pulled back, making sure her body was far enough away that the detective couldn't grab her. "You're such a tease," Olivia nearly whined when she realized that Alex was not going to let her play right now. The husky laugh that Alex released did nothing to calm Olivia's suddenly raging libido and her disappointment only deepened.

"Later, baby. After I've showered and you've gotten some rest." Alex raised her hand against the protest that was forming on Olivia's lips. "You forget, darling, I know just how uncomfortable those hospital beds are. They are not conducive to nice relaxing sleep, so you'll just have to get some here."

Olivia watched Alex go and turned on the television in the hopes of distracting herself until Alex decided to give in. It was only a matter of time, but that didn't mean Olivia wouldn't be half insane by the time Alex conceded to the wishes of both their desires.

They had a pleasant afternoon lounging on the couch, pressed close together. Alex turned on reruns of some crime drama that was only there for background noise since neither woman was paying attention to the television. Olivia was able to catch a couple more hours of intermittent sleep since Alex was the comfiest pillow that ever existed.

Only a few minutes after she'd drifted off to sleep again, Olivia awakened to find the apartment lights off, leaving her surrounded by comforting darkness. The only non-comforting aspect of the dark was that her head was no longer pillowed on Alex's lap and was instead resting on a throw pillow. Even though Alex was gone, Olivia didn't feel any fear at her absence as she could still sense Alex somewhere in the apartment.

Olivia sat up slowly on the couch, not wanting to disrupt her equilibrium even though her head felt fine. "Lex," Olivia called out, having to say it twice since her voice cracked from the disuse of sleep the first time. She leaned over and turned on the lamp that sat on a side table next to the couch, closing her eyes against the pain that came with the sudden brightness.

"You okay, baby?" Alex asked as she walked back into the living room. She'd been expecting Olivia to be passed out for at least a half an hour, but apparently the detective had other ideas. The sleepiness still gripping Olivia's body, the droopy eyelids and the way her head fell back against the couch as if her neck wasn't strong enough to hold it up, made a smile slowly curl onto Alex's lips as she thought how adorable Liv was.

Olivia raised her head and saw Alex standing in the doorway that led down the hall towards their bedroom. Alex was wearing a grey sweatshirt and a pair of back drawstring pants. It really was completely unfair that Alex looked absolutely spectacular in anything she wore and that how comfortable she seemed in casual clothes always fired Olivia's desire. At least she could touch now because it had been hell before when they weren't a couple.

A lascivious smile spread across Olivia's face as she motioned Alex over to her. "Come here, love. I need to touch you," Olivia said reverently, still awed by how the attorney affected her, as Alex moved towards her. It was unbelievable how happy it made her just to see Alex, to say nothing of how spectacular she felt when Alex looked back at her with the same reflection of love in her beautiful blue eyes.

When Alex was standing in front of her, Olivia leaned forward and placed her hands on slim hips before resting her head against Alex's warm stomach. She felt Alex's hands run through her hair and smiled at how much her girlfriend loved doing that. Olivia slipped her thumbs between the top of Alex's pants and the bottom of her sweater, just luxuriating in the feel of silken skin under her softly stroking fingertips.

Alex's response was innocent, her fingers tightening infinitesimally in Olivia's hair, but it wasn't enough for the detective. She wanted Alex hot and needy under her. To that end, Olivia finally pushed the sweatshirt up Alex's abdomen and nuzzled into the hot, quivering flesh before her. She delighted in Alex's abdominal muscles rippling in agitated pleasure under her seeking lips and wet tongue.

Olivia spread the attorney's legs wider and drew Alex down to straddle her lap. She moved her mouth up from Alex's stomach to capture those tempting lips instead. Alex eagerly consented, enjoying their intimacies just as much as Olivia did. The attorney's hands only moved from Olivia's hair for a short second to steady herself as she was brought down to sit over the detective, but went directly back once she was again balanced.

Alex let Olivia play all she wanted above her waist, but pulled back when the detective made a move to untie her pants. She wasn't too far gone to prefer making love on the couch over the comfort of their large bed. Besides, if they stayed here then Olivia was going to be the one leading the activities tonight and Alex had other plans that she wasn't willing to relinquish.

The attorney corralled Olivia's hands before she was lost to those wickedly talented fingers and backed off the detective's lap. She smiled sweetly down into the confused, passion-glazed brown eyes looking up at her and gently pulled Olivia up to stand next to her. "It's okay, baby," Alex said as she leaned in to give Liv a quick kiss. "I just want to finish this in the bedroom, not have a quickie on the couch."

An adorably crooked grin lifted the left side of Olivia's mouth, an expression that Alex had come to realize only occurred in passion-filled moments. "It wouldn't have been quick, sweetheart. I can promise you that," she said, but didn't put up any resistance as Alex led her down the hallway towards their bedroom. One place was as good as the next as long as the end result was Alex naked and sweaty within the next few minutes.

Alex stopped next to the bed and maneuvered Olivia so her back was to it. She slowly undressed her detective, taking the opportunity to lovingly caress every inch of tanned flesh she exposed until Olivia was trembling before her. Whenever Olivia would reach for her, Alex would gently deflect her hands and let Olivia see the desire in her eyes, the need to go slow this time and love her detective thoroughly, completely.

"Lex," Olivia breathed, the word halfway between a plea for more and a question about Alex's strange mood. She was not used to being the only one naked when they made love, and although she didn't mind the vulnerability, Olivia wanted to see and touch Alex as well.

Alex pulled her eyes from watching her hands skitter across Olivia's torso up to the questioning brown orbs. She leaned forward and softly kissed Olivia's lips, not deepening their kiss. "I could have lost you yesterday, Liv. Let me love you tonight," she said, her voice barely reaching the level of a whisper as she ran her hand along the side of Olivia's face and down her neck.

The pained need that she saw reflected in Alex's blue eyes, the need to reaffirm that she was alright, made Olivia's decision easy. Alex needed this, and she would willingly give every part of herself to Alex for any reason. She stepped back until her knees hit the mattress and then sat. Looking at Alex the entire time, Olivia pushed herself back into the middle of the bed, seeing Alex's eyes dart away from her own to watch the muscles in her arms and shoulders work.

Alex's breathing elevated as Olivia lay down on the bed so that the entirety of her body was reclined on the mattress. When her love was comfortable, Alex stripped off her own clothes, not rushing the actions, especially when she noticed how it caused Olivia's breathing to become more erratic. She was not going to rush a single second of this night; she would remember these moments until the day she died.

When she was as exposed as Olivia, Alex walked up to the bed and lowered her body until she was resting over the detective, pressed again her but holding the majority of her weight on her arms. Alex momentarily thought about how she now understood why Olivia liked positioning herself like this when they made love; it was a position of reverence as much as it was a position of power and dominance.

Olivia reached up through the curtain of Alex's hair to cup the blonde's face. She soaked in the love that was prevalent on Alex's face before leaning up to kiss her. The detective was surprised to find that she loved this change in their positions. She loved feeling Alex's weight pressing down upon her and wasn't at all uncomfortable with their role reversal; it was actually quite exciting. But most of all, Olivia was awestruck at the depth of the love that was shining through Alex's beautiful, clear blue eyes.

Alex took her time loving Olivia, her hands exploring the tanned, toned body that she already knew better than her own. In the wake of her hands went her mouth, intent on drawing out as much pleasure as she possibly could from Olivia's body. She may have known the body beneath hers better than any other, but she spent the time to learn anew as she slowly made her way down Olivia's lithe figure.

Olivia was trembling uncontrollably by the time Alex reached the trimmed thatch of hair below her tight stomach, but the detective didn't make any plea for Alex to hurry. The attorney rewarded the patient detective by placing a single kiss over the moist lips before using her fingers to spread Olivia's labia and expose her wet sex. Just the first lick along Olivia's slick slit caused her abs to clench with the effort to stave off her impending orgasm, not wanting to come when there could be so much more pleasure.

Alex did not quicken her pace, just slowly made love to Olivia with her mouth. She held nothing back from Olivia, not teasing her or purposely keeping her from crashing over the edge. Any direction that Olivia gave her, Alex followed. The pace naturally picked up and Alex didn't fight it, knowing from past experience what Olivia's body needed to climax.

Olivia didn't fight the undulation of her hips, trusting Alex to stop her if the motions were too much. She fisted her fingers in the sheets by her side, using words and the uncontrollable movements of her body to encourage Alex. It was only when Alex started flicking her tongue against Olivia's exposed clit that the detective couldn't keep her hands by her side anymore. Olivia held Alex to her as an all-consuming orgasm wracked her body, scorching every single cell of her being.

When Olivia's convulsions had subsided to less intense pulses of pleasure, Alex pulled back and looked up over the devastated form of her lover. Olivia's eyes were closed tightly as she worked through the final contractions, and her breathing was still raging out of control. It was amazing to be able to do such a thing to the person one loved, and Alex took it as the precious gift that it was.

Alex crawled up Olivia's body and pulled the detective into her arms, giving comfort in the wake of Olivia's completely dismantling orgasm. "I love you," she whispered into the sweat-soaked hair at Olivia's temple. At her words, Alex felt the arms draped around her waist tighten weakly, but her detective still couldn't catch enough breath to reply, not that Alex had any doubt that her feelings were returned to the same degree.

They made love for hours; fast and slow, hard and gentle, any way and every way that they could. And strangely, at least from Olivia's perspective, Alex steered the direction of their intimacies, which was something that Alex had not been completely comfortable with in the short time they'd been together. Not that the detective minded, she was very willing to let Alex explore her sexual boundaries in their relationship.

* * *

><p>It was nearly three in the morning when Alex pulled away from a sleeping Olivia. The detective had fallen into an exhausted sleep half an hour ago and as much as Alex wished she could join her, she knew she couldn't chance falling asleep, not that she'd be able to drift off with all the thoughts racing through her brain. Now was when she had to steel her resolve and leave her love; leave the safety of their love and the comfort of their bed.<p>

"I love you, Liv. Forever," Alex said with tears that she refused to let fall glistening in her eyes as she kissed Olivia's temple and then that beautiful exposed neck. She was careful not to wake her sleeping lover, even though Alex was pretty sure Olivia was too exhausted to be woken up.

Alex slipped carefully out of the bed, tucking the comforter around Olivia's sleeping form to keep her warm in absence of the body heat Alex had been providing. She looked longingly at her sleeping detective one last time before turning away and throwing on a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved navy blue t-shirt. Lastly, Alex pulled an old black hooded-sweatshirt out of her drawer and slipped it on over her head.

Not able to resist another glance at Olivia, Alex stood in the bedroom doorway for another minute. She didn't need to consciously memorize that beautiful form; Alex remembered everything about Olivia in picture perfect detail. Her heart was torn, crying out to stay with the woman that she loved, and yet needing to protect Olivia from the ghosts of her past, the demon from her nightmares.

Alex turned and walked out of her apartment, leaving her keys and phone behind on purpose; she might never be back. Her determination kicked in as she stepped out of her building and into the cold November night, her hood pulled up to cover her distinctive blonde head. It was not part of her plan to be seen by the cops she was sure were watching her apartment since Olivia's run in with Donovan yesterday.

As she walked the cold streets of New York City well before the break of dawn, Alex wondered if anyone else had ever _hoped_ to run into their nightmare around every corner.


	15. The End

**Disclaimer:** Characters do not belong to me, they most likely belong to Dick Wolf and/or NBC/Universal. I do this for free, fun entertainment and do not mean to offend anyone.

**A/N:** Here you all go, the final chapter. Nice that my friend has wireless all way out here in the boonies of Massachusetts where I can't even get a bloody cell signal. I thank everyone who's been reading this and especially those of you who leave reviews. I hope that you're all satisfied with this ending. Enjoy!**  
><strong>

**Chapter 15  
><strong>

Alex may have left the apartment but that didn't mean she had a clear idea of where to go from there. As unsafe as her current self-imposed predicament was with Alex actively seeking out Scott Donovan, it was really stupid to just aimlessly walk the streets of this city during the early morning hours. The darkness may not have held any threat more dangerous than Donovan, but it probably concealed other career criminals that she didn't want to run into right now. Alex did not need to run into any other problems before this one was finished.

Needing to stay visible, Alex walked quickly to an all-night diner that she knew some of her co-workers frequented. She doubted that anyone she knew would be there now, caught between the hours of too late for after-partying food on a weeknight and too early for breakfast. Not knowing if Donovan was even following her, Alex knew she would need to sit by a window to ensure that she didn't lose him if he was watching her.

Alex was maybe five steps away from the diner door when a pair of hands grabbed her from the side and shoved her roughly up against the wall while clamping a hand over her mouth to prevent a scream that could alert some concerned patrons. She'd been pulled into the alley at the side of the diner, the one that was a prerequisite for all dining establishments so that they had a place to dispose of their garbage that wouldn't be seen or smelled by the customers. Her assailant had pulled her just far enough into the alley so that they were out of the pool of light that shone from the streetlamps.

The concrete of the wall behind her was ice cold, frigid enough that the chilling surface could be felt through her jeans and sweatshirt. Alex barely felt the cold, she had already numbed herself for what was to come, nor did she try to scream through the hand pushing down over her mouth. She may have emitted a soft squeak of surprise at the sudden kidnapping, but that had only been a kneejerk reaction that she couldn't help.

Alex had no interest in drawing attention to herself or her attacker, unless it wasn't Donovan, but chances of that were rather slim, at least she hoped they were. She hoped her luck wasn't bad enough that someone else had just randomly decided to target her as well, but she was walking the streets alone at nearly four in the morning. If it was Donovan, then they would finally be able to end this, one way or another.

It was definitely a man pressing up against her, and it rather disgusted her that he was so close, but Alex couldn't tell if it was Donovan until a warm breath whispered against her ear. "Nice to see you again, Alexandra. I didn't expect to see you again so soon."

Alex found it kind of funny that she was relieved to hear Donovan's hissing voice in her ear. It was probably a case of preferring the devil you know as opposed to the devil you don't know. She knew how to push Donovan's buttons but would be working with a learning curve if it had been someone else that had pulled her into the alley.

As soon as she had identified his voice, Alex actually felt herself relax a little. She was still anxious and unsure of how the next couple of hours would play out, afraid of all the things that he could do to her, the pain he'd want to inflict. But she knew what to expect, even if she also knew that there was no way to prepare herself for the things he had fantasized about for five years.

Alex didn't resist when Donovan pushed her down the street and into a car parked at the curb. He may not have known it, but Donovan didn't need the knife that he was threatening her with to control Alex; she was willing to go anywhere with him as long as it was nowhere near Olivia. Alex knew that her decision to leave the safety of their apartment was stupid and that Olivia would be pissed, but she needed this thing with Donovan, this sickening waiting game, to be over. And she knew that there were only two ways for it to end, with her dead or Scott Donovan back in custody.

He drove the small car down towards the waterfront and Alex thought that he was taking her to one of the many warehouses that had been abandoned when some of the import/export businesses had gone under due to the turbulent economy. It wasn't original, but it certainly was effective because there were so many warehouses; too many for the NYPD to search through quickly. There were usually guards hired to patrol the abandoned areas to deter the homeless and the addicts from squatting, but there were comparatively few guards in association to the area that they had to cover.

Donovan pulled up to a building on the edge of the waterfront, one that was far away from the guards' command post. As he pulled her out of the car, Alex couldn't make out much about the building except that it was rather small in respect to the surrounding warehouses and there didn't seem to be any windows, even at the very top to let in any natural light. The lack of windows meant that there was no way to emit light, which could have alerted someone to their unauthorized presence.

Upon being pulled from the small vehicle, Donovan pushed her face first into the side of the car, her torso hitting the cold, unyielding metal hard. Alex winced at the mild pain but didn't make a sound as he wrenched her hands behind her back and bound them with zip-tie handcuffs, which were nearly impossible to get out of without them being cut off. She intertwined her fingers behind her back to take some of the pressure off of her shoulders and stop the natural urge to let her arms hang loosely at her sides.

He pushed her in front of him and set Alex off to the side of a large doorway. She expected the sliding door to creak from disuse as he pushed against it, but Donovan was easily able to shoulder the door aside without a single squeak of protest from the rolling tracks. He'd obviously used this place before and had prepared it for as silent an entry as possible.

Donovan led her back to the car and pushed her unceremoniously into the very cramped back seat. Alex was righting herself as Donovan drove the car through the open door. She was a little dejected that he hadn't left the vehicle outside where it would have been investigated if someone had happened upon it. Donovan may have often been impatient, but he certainly wasn't stupid when he had time to plan.

He left Alex in the car and went to shut the door behind them, apparently believing that she wasn't a threat now that she was tied up in the back. It was basically true since Alex had no plans of escape, which would just land her back in the same situation as before with Donovan on the loose. She just needed to put off the inevitable for as long as she could. Alex's body was telling her to try to escape, her flight response in perfect working order even if she wasn't listening to the primal instinct.

When Donovan got back from closing and locking a chain through the door handle, Alex was sitting rigidly on the back seat. She may have resolved not to try to get away, but that didn't mean she wasn't going to fight back; she wasn't going to make it easy for Donovan to hurt her. Now that they were as far from Olivia as they were going to get, Alex's job was to stall for as long as possible.

She didn't struggle too much as Donovan took a gun from the glove compartment and directed her through a maze of boxes and crates, some stacked high enough that neither of them could see over the obstructions, that had been left in the warehouse when the business closed. He was surprised by her relatively calm demeanor; all of his previous victims having begged him let them go or at least tried to make deals with him, and spent the trek to his place trying to figure out this uncharacteristic behavior. Donovan had paid attention to the traffic behind him, watching for an unmarked cop car that could've followed him, and hadn't seen anything, but his paranoid mind was still a little uneasy.

It was unusual for Alexandra to do something stupid like take an unaccompanied walk at three in the morning, especially when he'd almost taken her girlfriend not even forty-eight hours earlier. And that's when it hit him that she had sought him out on purpose. "Being the sacrificial lamb doesn't really suit you, Alexandra. It doesn't mesh well with your icy exterior, the self-righteous woman who can do no wrong," Donovan said close to her ear, whispering to Alex like a lover.

Alex barely contained the shudder of disgust that wanted to ripple through her body at his proximity, but he wasn't wrong. She knew how to control her emotions and present an impenetrable façade to everyone, Olivia being the only one who'd ever rendered that defense mechanism useless. "Everyone makes sacrifices," Alex said softly but strongly. And she'd just found what she would give up everything for.

"You think giving yourself to me will save her." It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

"Why wouldn't it? Killing me means you'd get no satisfaction from her, right Scott? If I'm dead then I can't be hurt by what you'd do to her, so she holds no more appeal. And since you were too damn impatient to pass up an opportunity to snatch me, she's safe." Throwing his own psychology back in his face was a childish move, but Alex was really past caring at the moment.

Alex felt him tighten his grip on her arm, knowing it would leave a bruise if she lived long enough for one to develop. He was pissed, not just at her words but at how true they were. Oh well, Donovan could console himself with how much fun he would have with Alexandra before actually killing her. "You're right. But at least I have you to play with," Donovan said with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders.

It wasn't until they made it to the area where Donovan had obviously been staying that Alex really started to struggle. The small space was strewn with clothes, all of it looking decidedly filthy, and other debris left over from when the warehouse was in use. But it was the bed that drew Alex's attention and ratcheted up her heart rate as well as her desire to escape. It consisted of a bare, dirty mattress that was situated on an old rusted bed frame, complete with shackles attached to the metal frame.

Alex yanked away from her kidnapper but only made it a couple of steps before he caught up to her enough to trip her so that she fell into the mattress. And being that her hands were tied behind her back, Alex couldn't brace herself for the fall. When Alex hit the mattress, an exposed spring scraped across her cheek, drawing a thin line of blood that welled from just beneath the surface.

Donovan pulled her up before she slipped completely off the bed and onto the concrete floor. When she was again facing him, Donovan raised his gun hand and pistol-whipped her across the face. Alex cried out as the butt of the handgun smacked into her face, causing her head to snap to the side and an instant throbbing to radiate painfully throughout her jaw. Her lip split open and Alex's mouth filled with the metallic, coppery taste of blood, an unpleasant and overpowering flavor.

"Let her go, Donovan," a commanding voice rang out through the warehouse just as Elliot stepped out from behind a pile of boxes stacked nearly eight feet high. His weapon was drawn and aimed unwaveringly at the escaped fugitive.

Donovan spun around, holding Alex tightly against his front. He aimed his gun at Elliot for a quick second before changing tactics and pressing the barrel of his weapon against the temple of his human shield. Cops always cared more about the hostages than they did about themselves, at least the dedicated ones did, and Donovan knew from the research he'd done that Elliot was a friend of Alex's.

Alex's eyes lit up with relief at seeing Stabler there. _Finally_, she thought. The attorney wasn't sure how long she'd been with Donovan, but it had certainly seemed like forever. Alex knew that it had been difficult to track her when they were driving the streets because there was always the risk of a tail being recognized, so she knew that Elliot had stayed back until her position had been relatively stationary. She was grateful that Elliot had insisted on hiding a tracking device in her shoes so that he always knew where she was. Alex was glad that he'd gotten here when he had, before Donovan could do anything more than smack her across the face once.

"Stay back," Donovan yelled, pressing his gun tighter to Alex's temple. He kept her flush against his body so there was no way the cop would take a shot for fear of hitting Alex as well.

Alex could hear something in Donovan's voice that she'd never heard from his before. This was the first time that he sounded as if he thought there might not be a way out. _Not good_. Hopelessness equaled recklessness and made a person dangerous, made them unpredictable. And if Donovan thought there was no way out for himself then he wouldn't think twice about taking down others with him.

There was nothing Elliot could do until backup arrived or Alex was out of the line of fire. Knowing that, Alex twisted quickly to the side and went limp in Donovan's arms, hoping that the convict would drop her when she became dead weight. She wondered if it was a mistake to force the action right before she heard the deafening discharge of a gun and her heart stuttered to a stop.

* * *

><p>Alex had certainly done her best to exhaust Olivia into a sex coma and it had worked quite well, but not completely. Olivia barely awoke when Alex left the bed, but she was aware of Alex's absence at her back. When her love tucked her in, Olivia registered that something was off, even if she was too depleted to make her brain work to figure out what it was. She floated in a semi-conscious state as she heard Alex rummaging around for a few minutes and waited for her to come back to bed.<p>

Even as she heard Alex leave the bedroom, Olivia thought that her lover just needed a little time to think about things and filed away in her brain a reminder to talk to Alex about it tomorrow, when she had the willpower to get out of this bed. Any other night she would have gotten up to talk with Alex now, but Olivia just couldn't find the energy to leave the warm sheets that still smelled comfortingly of their mixed scents. She burrowed her head further into the pillow beneath her and was instantly drifting slowly, peacefully back to sleep.

It was the distinctive click of the apartment door shutting that sounded so loudly in Olivia's ears that it was like a bomb going off. Whatever contented drowsiness that was left within her instantly dissipated like throwing cold water over a burning flame. Olivia's eyes snapped open, all tiredness gone, and she sat up, straining her ears to listen for any sign of Alex still being in the apartment. It was a naïve hope, but Olivia couldn't stop herself from wishing it because that was the only way Alex would be safe.

Not a single sound could be heard throughout the apartment, not even Olivia's breathing since she had unconsciously been holding her breath. Even her heartbeat had stopped dead out of fear. After nearly a minute of complete silence, Olivia hurriedly flipped off the covers and rushed through the apartment looking for Alex. In her haste, Olivia hadn't even realized that she'd forgone clothes in favor of seeking Alex out immediately.

Alex wasn't in the apartment, no surprise there, but Olivia had hoped that she was wrong. She pulled open the apartment door, hoping to spot Alex waiting for the elevator, but no such luck. Olivia was about to run to the elevator to recall the car when she remembered that she wasn't dressed, and she wasn't about to run through the lobby of Alex's nice apartment building while she was naked. No need to show the world that Alex could actually drive her to bouts of insanity.

Olivia rushed back into the apartment and grabbed her phone, dialing Alex's number as she frantically hopped around trying to get some clothes on while keeping hold of the small slippery cell phone. She'd just managed to get some sweatpants on when she heard Alex's phone ringing and followed the sound in a somewhat dazed state. It was sitting next to Alex's set of keys on the kitchen counter and seeing those two items still in the apartment sent Olivia into full blown panic mode, knowing that Alex was out there with no way to contact her.

The detective rushed back into the bedroom and pulled a sweatshirt out of one of Alex's drawers and her gun from where she kept it in the right side nightstand. She was out the door and halfway down the stairs, not willing to wait for the elevator to reach the top floor, when she finally slipped the sweatshirt over her head so that she was at least covered when she burst into the lobby from the stairwell.

Olivia's less than graceful entrance scared the night guard at the desk, but he visibly relaxed when he saw that it was the detective. "Where did she go?" Olivia demanded as she ran up to the lobby desk. "Where did Alex go?" she specified when he just seemed dumbfounded by her harshly asked question.

"Out. She didn't say where she was going," he said, pointing towards the front door. It wasn't unheard of for Ms. Cabot to go out so late, but it was odd that she wasn't dressed professionally when she left at this hour. All the building employees knew that she was sometimes called out to observe a scene or to wake up a judge to get a warrant signed, but she had seemed different this time.

Olivia shoved her gun into the front pouch on her sweatshirt, knowing that the surprisingly heavy weight would only pull her pants down if she stashed it there. "Did you see which direction she went in?" Olivia was desperate for any piece of information that would help her find Alex fast. She had to find her love before Donovan did, and Olivia had no doubt that Donovan would be nearby and ready to pounce.

The night guard just shook his head and Olivia was out the door in a flash. She looked both ways but only saw a group of college age kids walking on the opposite side of the street together. Knowing that deliberating on which way to go would just waste more precious seconds, Olivia arbitrarily picked a direction and ran, hoping that she'd catch up with Alex quickly.

She ran for five minutes with no success, no sighting of her usually brilliant girlfriend. Alex didn't have that much of a head start on her and she should have caught up with her by now as long as Alex wasn't running, too. Olivia kept moving and tried to force her brain to remember something that would be helpful for finding Alex.

The thought popped into her mind and she grabbed at it like a life vest to a drowning man, needing some concrete ideas on what to do. Alex had once mentioned an all-night diner that she'd never been to but that she knew many of the other ADAs used when they needed coffee at all hours. It was in the opposite direction of where she was heading right now, but it was the first lead, even if it was a weak one, that she had come up with.

Olivia turned around and ran back the way she'd come, picking up her pace because she'd lost time by taking the wrong direction first. Her breath was showing in fast puffs through the cold November night, her breathing ragged from fear as much as from the running she was doing. She saw the twenty-four hour diner up ahead, and just past that she saw a familiar figure in jeans and a black sweatshirt. Olivia knew Alex well enough to be able to identify her even through the baggy top.

Alex was pushed into a car by a man that Olivia couldn't distinctly see but that she was sure was Scott Donovan. She made a quick decision, one that she desperately hoped she would never live to regret. Instead of calling out for him to stop, which he probably wouldn't do anyway and would only alert him to her presence, Olivia hailed a cab and had the driver follow the car. If she'd been closer to them, Olivia would've tried to stop him right there, but at the distance she was standing it would have been difficult to hit him with her handgun, if it had come to that.

Olivia identified herself as a detective to the taxi driver and gave him a crash course in how to stay back and hopefully not be seen by the person they were tailing. It would be more difficult to finger a cab as a tail because there were quite a few on the streets, even this early in the morning on a weeknight. Olivia was grateful right now to be living in 'the city that never sleeps' because deserted streets wouldn't have allowed Olivia to follow them.

When Donovan pulled down into a waterfront warehouse district, Olivia told the driver to drop her off. No way would it be unnoticeable to follow him through the plot of abandoned warehouses, so Olivia ran after the taillights of the car, keeping close to the building in case Donovan looked back.

She lost him for a few minutes but forced herself not to panic and to keep going in the direction she'd last seen his car disappear in. Olivia spotted the vehicle again just as it was pulling into one of the warehouses. She waited for Donovan to close the door before streaking across the open area to try to find a way into the building.

Trying the door that Donovan had gone through would be really risky because he might still be there and Olivia preferred the surprise approach since Alex was his hostage. Olivia did a quick perimeter sweep of the rather small warehouse and found a place in the back wall that must have been previously used for illegal entrance by others. She slipped inside the building, grateful for the thick sweatshirt that kept the ragged pieces of metal from cutting into her arms.

Olivia took a minute to orient herself before heading in the direction she thought was the front of the building where Donovan had pulled his car in. She crept through the building as quietly as she could, both to avoid detection and so she would have a better chance at hearing and locating Donovan and Alex. In her travels she stumbled across Donovan's living quarters, complete with a rusted bed already set up with restraints to hold his prey down.

Before she could move past the small inhabitable space, Olivia heard noises coming towards her and she quickly crouched behind a group of boxes. Through a small slit between two of the crates, Olivia could see Donovan pushing a restrained Alex ahead of him into the dingy living space. She had to hold her muscles under harsh, rigid control to stop them from vaulting her up immediately to demand Alex's release.

It was difficult to keep herself motionless and when she saw Donovan whip Alex across the face with the heel of his gun, Olivia had never felt such fury overwhelm her. She was a split second away from standing up and showing herself when she heard Elliot's voice resound throughout the building. Brief relief washed through her that there were now two of them to take Donovan down, but they still had to get Alex away from him.

Elliot had no shot on Donovan because the bastard was holding Alex in front of him like a shield. Olivia was off to his left side and would probably be able to wing him, but any burst of shots she could get off were likely to hit Alex as well. She would not be responsible for shooting her own lover, but she knew that they had to do something quick because Donovan was starting to look rather panicked.

Olivia was trying to decide if she should move positions to get a better angle because she could still maneuver around since no one knew she was there yet. She had just pushed herself into a crouch from her knees in anticipation of a move when she saw Alex twist away from Donovan and drop her weight, pulling Donovan off balance. Elliot still had no shot, but Olivia thought that she did. She took the shot, firing three rounds into his upper torso.

It was all Olivia could do to watch both Alex and Scott Donovan drop to the floor of the formerly abandoned warehouse. She didn't even flinch when Elliot rounded on her, his weapon aimed at her heart. The peril of not announcing yourself to your allies was that they could just as easily shoot you as the enemy.

Olivia ignored the deadly weapon in Elliot's hands and rushed forward, praying that she hadn't hit Alex as well as Donovan. She went directly to the blonde, crashing to her knees and pulling Alex into arms that shook from dissipating adrenaline and fear while Elliot went over to make sure that Donovan was no longer a threat.

Alex looked up at her with bewildered blue eyes but didn't get the chance to ask how Olivia knew she was here before Olivia's lips came down on hers. It was a rather rough kiss but neither cared, both just happy and relieved to be together again with no apparent injuries. Alex's mouth opened under Olivia's demanding tongue, her supplication even more complete since her hands were still tied behind her back.

It was only after Olivia pulled away to catch her breath, leaning her forehead against Alex's to maintain as much physical contact as possible, that Elliot came over to them. He crouched down at Alex's back and cut the bonds that held her with the knife he'd taken off of Donovan. "He's dead," Elliot said just loud enough for both of them to hear before pushing back to his feet and giving them some more privacy. The ex-Marine walked away from the scene to wait out front for back-up to arrive, not that he needed it anymore but they were still on their way.

With her hands free, Alex grabbed weakly onto Olivia's neck, her hands a little shaky from the position they'd been kept in by the zip-tie handcuffs. She ran her fingers through the short fuzzy hair at the back of Olivia's head, getting lost in the movement and the feel of one of her favorite activities. "I love you, Liv."

Olivia held Alex tighter and buried her face in the flawless neck before her. She had almost lost Alex to Donovan before, but things were different now that they were really together. It was unbearable to think about the future that they could have lost today. "I love you, too, Lex. Always." She was able to keep the tears out of her voice, but couldn't stop the few that traveled down her cheeks and dropped onto Alex's neck, which only made Alex hold her tighter.

* * *

><p>They all went back to the precinct, Olivia having to answer to IAB about the shooting. She could have put it off until the next day, but Olivia wanted to make her initial statement while the details were still fresh in her mind and didn't want the inevitable interview to be hanging over her head when she went home with Alex. Yesterday she may have wanted to be back at work again, but now she just wanted to go home and climb into bed with her girlfriend so they could relax in the knowledge that they were now both safe from Donovan.<p>

It was nearly noon by the time IAB was done questioning her and she dragged herself tiredly from the interview room. At least they'd been courteous enough to conduct the interview at the precinct instead of making her go to them. They were always so harsh during their interviews, always treating the cops like they were the enemy, but Olivia got the impression that everything was going to work out just fine. It obviously helped that Donovan was an escaped prisoner who'd already been well-documented in attempting to kill both her and Alex.

Olivia was searching for Alex, whom she knew was still somewhere in the precinct, when she spotted Elliot just outside of an interrogation room. It had come out during her IAB questioning that Elliot had known that Alex would be leaving that night, that Elliot was in on another dangerous plan to lure Donovan out using Alex as bait. And while Olivia was grateful that Elliot had Alex's back, she was pissed that he would agree to something that put Alex in danger, and that he hadn't told her about it.

Elliot understood when Olivia entered an empty interrogation room that he was supposed to follow, and he did. He shut the door behind him and waited for the scene to play out. It was something he was actually looking forward to because nothing got his partner so fired up as the subject of Alex and it was awesome to see her that passionate about another person.

"I am grateful that you were there to protect Alex, but you shouldn't have gone along with her in the first place." Olivia tried to restrain her agitation and remember that everything had turned out okay, but it got to her to even think about how Alex could have died. "You should've at least told me so that I could try to talk her out of it. We're partners and she means so much to me. I should've had a say in that stupid stunt you two pulled."

Elliot was about to answer when the door was pushed open and Alex walked in, looking fresh from a shower that she must have taken in the locker room. Her hair was wet and fell around her head in a thick curtain, but Olivia though she was incredibly beautiful, would always be incomparably gorgeous to her. Alex quietly thanked Elliot and then motioned for him to leave, not wanting to be rude but needing to set Olivia straight about who she should be angry with for today's events.

When the door again clicked shut, Alex walked over and put her arms around her detective. She brought Olivia's mouth to hers, not caring if anyone was behind the mirror and watching them. They were not going to hide their relationship and they both needed the comfort that the other afforded right now.

"I'm sorry, Liv. You wouldn't have let me do it if you'd known and I wouldn't put it past you to have cuffed me to the bed to make sure I didn't leave. I needed it done and over with. But I'm sorry I used your partner to do it. I should've known better then to cause a disagreement between you two. Please, forgive me." Alex Cabot admitting that she was wrong was a rarity, but in this case she knew it was warranted, even if it wasn't an apology for the way she'd put herself in danger.

"I love you, Lex. I just wish you'd be more careful and not go on suicidal excursions. You don't know what it would do to me if you didn't come back," Olivia said as she held on tighter.

"I do know, Liv. The same thing that it would do to me if it were you who didn't come back to me. But you don't have to worry about it anymore because Donovan's gone. Let's go home."

"Yeah, let's go home. Maybe I'll try handcuffing you to the bed now," Olivia said with that sexy half-smile. She pulled out of the hug but grabbed Alex's hand and took her home.


End file.
